A Tale of Two Pities
by iPods-and-Tea
Summary: When a group of old friends meet up, coincidentally they all are invited to an old friend's wedding. But, one friend realizes that she made a huge mistake back in gradeschool at St. Anna's so with the help of her friends they embark in a race against time
1. Prologue!

The Tale of Two Pities

Parody, One-Shot

Once upon a time there was a Mennonite, Nazi whose name was Emma she was year in her early teen years and she dreaded Wendy and Jane for possibly stealing her soul mate from her. Emma figured that she and Peterpan were meant to be, Emma even loved to fairy skipped _all the time_. Emma prayed every night that somehow she would get to escape her bland suburban town and venture away from the bores of her tedious school with her obnoxious loud mouth teacher. Emma had the worst teacher in the history of the world she screamed and yelled for no reason and hated everyone just because her life sucked because she was such a girl dog! Emma would have actually said the word I described because she uses profanities nonchalantly every three seconds you would hear Emma shout "What the hell!" it was simply uncalled for and unruly inappropriate. Some speculated that the only reason that Emma wanted to go to Neverland so desperately was because she despised the United States and all Americans, which disgusted her patriotic friends until they unveiled the truth that there other friend was the Amish terrorist so they apologized to Emma and accepted her back as an American and not a terrorist. Though it was inevitable to then question her status as a Nazi terrorist though some said it was undeniably uncountable. One day Emma and her awesome friend, Charlie and Shea had a computer project that this teacher, Mrs. Dunce had taken over despite the fact it was not even her profession as a teacher but she was so cocky conceded that she took Miss Flock's job anyway. Charlie, however, was flawless, unlike Emma which sent her into a constant fury of envy, Charlie had it all, looks, talent, intelligence, popularity Emma would give anything to be like Charlie, Shay and Cecelia worshiped what was thought to be an immaculate example of a teenager. No one didn't like Charlie, _no one_. Charlie came in on the due date of the computer project with a stunning work of art. It was a fabulous trailer for a movie called Bedtime Stories Not as You Know Them it was dazzling with brilliant effects and breath taking acting by the wicked with of the northeastern hemisphere and not so great acting by the fairy grandmother. No one knew of the absolute hell that Charlie had went through to complete her masterpiece she was up until like 3 AM relentlessly searching for a resolution to the problem night after night. So, when Emma came up with her adequate project she had a tough act to follow with her mediocre technology craftsmanship. She was already lionized by Charlie's project's concept; fairytale land a.k.a. Neverland. After presenting her so-so project she was then sent into a spiraling world of criticism by Mrs. Dunce.

"This is not above and beyond work. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a perfect example of what not to do on your project. And for you Emma, GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER! I swear sometimes I say on thing and it goes in one ear and out the other. Blah, blah, blah, blab, blah yelling blah insane, psychotic screaming, etc. Why can't you be more like Charlie!" Mrs. Dunce screamed on a psychotic rampage as she went on a tirade ranting about everything imaginable. "And who is the cause for world hunger….EMMA!" She continued, everyone despised Mrs. Dunce with a blistering animosity. Charlie went up to Emma to comfort her.

"It's okay, Emma, I thought your project was great no one cares what that old hag has to say anyway. I just ignore her IS ALL." Charlie said in comfort as Emma thrashed her to the ground and fairy skipped home as she was consumed in covetous hatred for the world around her and buried herself into a book, Peterpan that is. Peterpan was like the hottest, sexiest guy in Neverland but Captain Hook and the fat pirate guy was a close second. Emma fell into a daydream about her and Peter's wedding when suddenly a knock was heard at her window.

"Who is it? Who's there, is it you Winnie the Pooh, I told you we're over okay, I was young and in love okay! Take your honey pots and get out!" Emma screamed at who she presumed to be her ex-husband, Winnie the Pooh. But, as Emma peered out her window pane once more she realized it was the love her life.

"Peter, is-is it really you!" Emma muttered in a love struck, flirty tone.

"You bet cha, baby!" Peter replied.

"Wooooow, I love you!" Emma shouted.

"I love you too, what do you say I get Tink here to give us some pixie dust and we'll get ourselves hitched, Neverland style!" Peter proposed.

"Sure thing, sweetheart! But, one question why the hell are we getting married in Neverland, where no one ages… I don't get it." Emma interrogated her fiancée.

"Oh, come on, honey don't worry about that stuff. Come-on hurry up before Jane or Wendy beats you to it!" Peter pressured. Emma started uncontrollably weeping.

"I'm sorry, Peter, but I can't! I love you more than anything but it's better this way! I'm too young I won't make the same mistake I did years ago with Winnie I can't relive the heartbreak, I'm sorry!" Emma cried as she chocked on tears as a pang of pain struck her heart and Peter felt the sting of neglect and betrayal.

"Fine! I'll go meet someone else like Captain Hook he's always had a thing for me and he hasn't got neatly as many quirks and idiosyncrasies as _you_ he's almost as perfect as Charlie!" Peter said and with that Emma's kindred spirit flew away with tinker bell not far behind he flew away from her but he lived forever in her heart well into her lonely cat lady life. Emma forever rued denying Peter's proposal for all time and longed for her heart to reach tranquility to cease her inner turmoil but alas she lived in horror and distraught for eternity and it was all her fault for being paranoid. As for Charlie she became a successful multi-trillionare by making a revolutionary advancement in Technology after getting her master's in technology from Harvard University and she went on to marry world renowned Pokémon Master Ash Ketchum whom Charlie had cured his rare no-agingidise disorder and finally caught up to his age after not aging for fifteen years. Cecelia went on to become supreme ultralord of Cambodia under the nom-de-plume of Paul Pot she was a fugitive from the US government after an act of treason trying to overthrow President, Shea despite their childhood friendship. So Cecelia escaped to Cambodia and ruled there after her failed attempt at overthrowing the most powerful nation in the world. As for Shea she became America's first female president and put an end to Emma's problem of world hunger. Mrs. Dunce was barbecued by the class of 2012 and everyone celebrated. And Emma like I said before lived a lonely life in a cardboard box rejected for even a job at McDonald's and community college and even her cats left her and she spent all of eternity with a Peterpan book as ghosts haunted her forcing her to believe in them. THE END


	2. Thirty Years From Today

It was a dull, slow-paced town, Mopmall and Oldtown Circle Pennsylvania and Emma was still drying her tears from her abandonment to her beloved Peter...Even though it had been 30 years...Emma still wasn't over it. Emma was outside of her home crying on the pavement praying that Peter would one day come running back into her arms. But the clouds began to form rain and the rain splashed down on to Emma's little dilapidated abode...which by the way was a cardboard box. So it became soggy and unlivable so Emma was forced to trudge across South Chestnut Pike alone, as a homeless, hobo, spinster. As Emma staggered across the sidewalk a familiar face bumped into her.

"What do you think you're doing, what where you're going! What are you an Emma!" The seemingly stranger shouted in an irritable tone.

"Why, yes, as a matter of fact I am Emma...How do you know? ...STALKER!" Emma shouted through her paranoia.

"Emma? It is you! It's me Betty!" Betty shouted in recognition as Emma ran screaming away. "Emma wait!"

"Betty stay away! I'm warning you!" Emma threatened.

"Please, Emma it's not like I still don't hate you but, I'm not going to physically harm you...drastically." Betty confirmed.

"Oh, okay or I'll call the cops and President Shea we and her are tight!" Emma stated.

"But you two got in a fight at the end of eighth grade about weather or not Mrs. Dandruff was truly evil, remember and then when you defended Mrs. Dunce and Shea went off the wall, 'member, ugh, Emma, you haven't changed a bit, stupid as usual." Betty criticized.

"What, you guys are so mean to me! And I still think Charlie should have dumber friends like her so she wouldn't be alone at science fair." Emma said randomly.

"Emma what the heck! You are so mean you called me fat and Charlie stupid what's next! And you aren't one to talk when Charlie's a trillionare and you don't even have a cardboard box to live in, what did your box go into foreclosure?" Betty bantered.

"Not this one that was my old box, back in 2034 during the Anti-Communist war I couldn't afford the place thanks to Cecelia's endeavor to overthrow the United States government." Emma explained.

"I always knew Cecelia'd be a dictator she was voted most likely to dictate a small country back at St. Anna's. Besides I can't believe how far Shea's gone she's almost through her second term as president and nobody doesn't like her, except probably you Emma because you're a terrorist!" Betty yelled accusatively.

"I thought we resolved that thirty years ago, Betty, I'm the Amish Nazi, Cecelia was the Mennonite terrorist .And terrorism was put to an end when Bin Laden was found hiding in Sealand and they sent an army of robots to kill him back in 2018 that was forever ago!" Emma said defensively.

"Whatever, there all freaks in Lancaster anyway." Betty said in a condescending tone.

"I hate you." Emma said dauntingly.

"EMMA!" Betty said, appalled and then she stormed away. When suddenly an enormous private jet landed right before Emma's eyes. Charlie stepped out as everyone ooed and ahhed at her appearence.

"Charlie?" Emma said in awe.

"Yes, it is I!" Charlie said as she was escorted by her husband off the plane. "Tis I Charlie Ketchum!"

"Well, hi."

"So where is your beloved Peter you keep sending me holograms about!" Charlie asked as Emma awkwardly scratched the back of her head.

"You have enough money to buy a holographic iPhone transceiver yet you live in a cardboard box...I don't get it?...Ugh,stupid Emma this is why you were expelled from Merion in 11th grade!" Betty insulted casually.

"Ugh, you see, Peter...he, ugh got this rare disease! That's it! It was called...um...ugh...Deathidise! That was it-Deathadise! It made you die, hence the name!" Emma said as she conjured up an excuse impromptu.

"Deathidise? Well, by the tone in your voice you don't sound too upset about his passing, why if anything ever happened to Ash I don't know what I'd do!" Charlie replied.

"You could always go back to Fire Lord Ozai!" Emma shouted.

"He is exceedingly wealthy..." Charlie said.

"What are you saying!" Ash shouted.

"Oh, shut up Ash or I'm gonna eat your Squirtle next." Charlie retaliated.

"Wha-what! You ate Pikachu my bestest buddy you said you sold it to Team Rocket for 1000 dollars! You ate my partner Pikachu!" Ash screamed horrifically as Betty laughed and clapped her hands and Emma stared in terror.

"I'm your partner, you idiot not that stupid rat. And I didn't sell Pikachu, I sautéed that thing I sold all of your dumb badges, they were useless anyway you're already a Pokémon Master what do you need the badges for?" Charlie retaliated.

"Misty was right you are an evil gold digger!" Ash shouted accusatively as Charlie flashed an evil eye. "...Sweetie?"

"Misty was a jealous wreck she wouldn't even show up at your wedding, though she claimed to be your best friend!" Charlie continued arguing.

"Hey don't talk about Misty that way!" Ash shouted.

"...Why, not? When I cured your growth disorder I don't think it mentally matured you..." Charlie retorted as they went back and forth for an hour.

"So, Betty, what've you been up to lately?" Emma asked.

"Eh? Not much, I killed Kaylee last year because she had been asking for it since like 6th grade." Betty rebutted.

"Oh My Fairy skipping lost boys! You killed Kaylee! OMGizzles Betty! I thought you were kidding every time you said that you'd kill her one of those days but you did! ...Good Job!" Emma congratulated.

"Thanks!" Betty said surprised at Emma's satisfaction with her murder. As Emma and Betty continued conversing they'd hear random screams from Ash and Charlie's argument.

"I am not spending the weekend at your mother's house!" Charlie shouted.

"Why not!" Ash shouted back.

"Is that even a question? Because, there's that creepy clown pervert that sweeps around the house and steals my shoes and it freaks me out what kind of Pokemon sweeps the road, and that thing is creepy and all can say is Mr. Mime and I hate it and it needs to die! And then there's that creepy old, perverted professor that lives down the street that NEVER goes away he's such a creepy pedophile(just like N) and then there's your stupid mother who's always so happy that it's like she's a robot!" Charlie screamed.

"Well, it's better to always be happy than angry like you!" Ash shouted.

"Ah, shut up you, Momma's boy! How'd you like it if we had to spend the weekend at my parents!" Charlie shouted.

"Not...not with..._HIM_! Charlie Brizzle Ketchum, anything but _HIM_!" Ash muttered.

"Oh yeah with HIM, Miguel!" Charlie stated.

"We'll just have a Pokemon battle to settle this!" Ash challenged.

"No, no, stop no more of that I told you a hundred times no Pokemon in this world!" Charlie shouted. Suddenly a chant of a song could be heard above all the fighting...

"Deedalant deedalant doo! It's a portal to my kingdom! Deedalant deedalant dawh! It's a portal to my kingdom now! Yow!" The tune played as lights flashed from the sky ceasing the argument for just a moment everyone instantly knew who it was, it was Miguel, the king of Zobotron had returned.


	3. A Wedding in Sealand?

The clouds halted and the bustling cars of South Chestnut Pike ceased in their tracks to witness the commotion as the swirling vortex spewed out a boney looking thing along with a hippopotamus and a little green dog toy.

"Miguel Brizzle has returned to Mopmall from the wonderful kingdom of Zobotron!" Miguel proclaimed. "Please welcome the wonderful Caroline my wife and my son, Charlie!" Miguel introduced.

"For the love of God please tell me that that _thing_ is _not_ named after _me_." Charlie said disgustedly.

"Why of course it is, sister dear! It was Almanzo's idea!" Miguel exclaimed.

"Almanzo, the Unicorn-Leppurchaun…You took the advice of a Unicron-Leppurchaun…" Charlie mumbled.

"Well, I wanted to name him Pipaya in honor of my friend whom the wretched ruler Santa had executed!" Miguel ranted.

"You have serious issues." Betty chimed in.

"Ash doesn't think so, right Ash?" Miguel said.

"…Um, no comment." Ash replied.

"Says the one who travels around the mythical land of Pokémon enslaving these creatures in magical balls and forcing them to fight each other for your own amusement." Emma retorted.

"What are you a member of Team Plasma? Pokémon must battle to build a strong bond between each other!" Ash said profoundly.

"Ugh, not that crap again after fourteen seasons your Pokémon friendship-bond crap gets old. Face it, you put them in cock fights and you make money off it, I would know I played the games, it's a gamble. It would be illegal in our world." Miguel said.

"What is this attack Ash day!" Ash shouted defensively. "And thank you to _my loving wife who always stands up for me_!"

"No problem!" Charlie said sarcastically while tweaking at a technological contraption over outside the long standing McDonald's. All of a sudden the loud thundering roar of motorcycles could be heard plummeting through the streets. "Oh, no…Not _them_." Charlie groaned.

"Whomever could it be! Oh I shall go into hysterics in a mannerly fashion at the aforesaid time accordingly!" Caroline squealed as she fainted from fear into Miguel's arms which squished him into the street as an entire chunk of the street cracked open and split up from the road creating a steep, slope-like, incline. It was Tom, Kathy and Marie, rolling down the streets in their Harley Davidson's.

"What else could go wrong, next it'll be Team Rocket!" Ash groaned. The motorcycle gang that called themselves, The Muffy Motor cyclers and they had a fast pace and were going at least 40 mph despite the speed limit. Tom shoved Kathy off her motorcycle and laughed with an insult quick to follow.

"Hahaha you stupid fat retard!" Tom shouted, using the same insult he had been using for the last 40 years of his life. Kathy got up and pulled Tom down with her and they wrestled in the street as Marie watched with a sigh.

"Guys, let's get out of here while we still can! Let's head over to the CVS!" Emma cried as they fled from the Muffy family. As they all dashed down to the CVS they passed familiar stores which surprisingly had remained in business all these years. At the CVS, much to everyone's surprise Juliana was shopping there.

"Juliana? Is that you?" asked Betty.

"Betty, hi! What in the world brings you here!" Juliana replied with a pleasant greeting.

"Me? What about you? I thought you were at Hogwarts pursuing your studies?" Betty asked.

"I was but, I just graduated and now I'm a wizard!" Juliana exclaimed.

"Hey, Charlie, look it's Juliana!" Emma exclaimed. "Hey, Juliana, long time no see!"

"Juliana, hi! We're running into everyone down here! It's like a coincidental St. Anna's reunion!" Charlie exclaimed as they rushed over to greet Juliana.

"When I was still at Hogwarts I heard that Cecelia finally getting married! Unlike…._Emma_." Juliana informed.

"Really, to who?" Emma exclaimed.

"To this creepy guy named "N" Juliana explained. "He's like 55 years old…it's creepy.

"Ew! But N is a part of Team Plasma and they're bad people!" Ash screamed in horror sounding like a ten-year-old.

"Yes, Ash bad people do _actually exist_!" Betty said sarcastically to Ash as he sulked.

"I knew it! I knew Cecelia would end up with him all along!" Charlie exclaimed maliciously.

"Oh, yeah and Cecelia told me to tell all of you that you're all invited to the wedding it's on May 25 which is only a week away, I apologize for such short notice. Oh, yeah she also told me to tell you that Kathy, Tom, and Marie cannot show up under any circumstances or she'll kill us all…and Cecelia does_ not_ bluff. She also said that we must bring a gift or we will be sent immediately to the guillotine with no exceptions…How pleasant." Juliana explained as everyone panicked realizing that if they didn't show up that the entire planet would probably be destroyed.

"I thought that Cecelia failed at trying to conquest the world and then she tried here, failed again thanks to President Shea and then she reigned over Cambodia awhile under the pseudonym, Paul Pot, before being overthrown by her people." Emma interrogated.

"Oh, you guys didn't know? Don't you watch the Sealandic news?" Juliana said.

"They have that now!" Charlie exclaimed, growing excited.

"Well, excuse me for living in a cardboard box and having to dig through garbage cans to survive in this cruel, cruel world!" Emma ranted.

"Yeah, yeah Emma, no one cares." Betty said in a condescending way.

"Cecelia purchased Sealand from the Bates family a year or so ago and N was hiding there and they fell madly in love." Juliana stated.

"Why do all the terrorist hide in Sealand?" Ash said dumbfounded.

"Who the hell is gonna search in Sealand, that's why!" Emma exclaimed.

"Emma, stop using profanities!" Betty scolded.

"Stop reprimanding me, Betty!" Emma moaned.

"Is Shea going to attend the wedding?" Miguel asked Juliana.

"I'm not sure but, I know she was informed." Juliana responded.

"So what are you guys going to get her for her birthday?" Caroline asked.

"Oh, I forgot you were here…Don't know how I forgot my 800 pound talking hippo sister-in-law was here but, I did." Charlie grunted.

"That is insulting we do not wish to be called hippo that's racist! We prefer Hippopotamus American." Caroline corrected.

"When you're a _hippo_ in a tutu that's a figment of my delusional brother's imagination, you don't get preferences, okay?" Charlie replied which left Caroline in a swirling torrent of blistering animosity.

"Caroline's right, Charlie-we do have to get Cecelia a gift or we'll be done for and we'll forever here the echoing laughter of _**"haHahaHa"**_ in her mocking tone as we're decapitated…." Juliana said, quivering at the thought.

"Fine, what do we get her? Does she still like books or should we get some hand grenades instead." Charlie mumbled.

"Let's get her a Pikachu everyone loves a good Pikachu!" Ash blurted out.

"They sure do." Charlie said as she rubbed her stomach. "Mmm-mmm tasty little things, especially when deep fried!"

"That isn't funny, Charlie! I loved Pikachu!" Ash cried as Charlie raised an eye brawl at him angrily. "Errrr, not as much as I love you….sweetheart…"

"That's what I thought you said." Charlie mumbled.

"Charlie, you don't give people books as a wedding gift…" Emma said.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, UGH, YOU ARE SUCH AN EMMA!" Betty screamed as Emma quivered.

"Let's just go to the mall, we'll find something there, especially if we go to King of Prussia." Charlie said as she flinched automatically from being so accustomed to Cecelia jumping out her shouting Prussia as a reference to an anime that Shea and she use to obsess over. Sometime they all pondered if that show had any effect on Cecelia's plot for world domination. They all drove to the KOP mall with Charlie in her Ferrari as they picked up gifts for Cecelia, they were things you'd never expect someone to buy for a wedding. They all decided to head over to Sealand prior to the wedding's start. And with that they all got tickets for a flight to England so they could be sent over to Sealand by Helicopter since Sealand was too small to have an airport and they prepared to see Cecelia for the first time since her pursuit to conquer the world and also, to see Shea for the first time in person since her presidential inauguration.


	4. Flying or Dying?

The plane ride was long and tedious Ash and Charlie had been seated together, so had Caroline and Miguel, Emma and Betty, Juliana had been seated with Charlie II, and they weren't having the best of times. Ash and Charlie were _still_ quarrelling, Betty was _still_ ridiculing Emma, and poor Juliana was being asked thousands of questions about Hogwarts by Charlie II that made no sense at all whatsoever and Caroline was squashing Miguel along with seven other passengers and everyone aboard was praying that her tremendous weight wouldn't make the entire plane crash to the ground.

"I could've just teleported us here, y'know guys?" Juliana said.

"… You could've mentioned that, I don't know…BEFORE WE ALL SPENT HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS AND WASTED EXCRUCIATINGLY LONG HOURS ON A PLANE WITH _EMMA_!" Betty shouted.

"You guys are so mean!" Emma whined.

"So, Miss Juliana, did onions ever come to life and try to take over your cooking class for revenge for eating their cousins!" Charlie II shouted in anticipation.

"…No, just no. That didn't happen! What do you think this is kid, Wizards of Waverly Place!" Juliana shouted getting fed up with this thing's irrelevant questions.

"What in the name of Pipaya is a Wizard of Waverly Place?" Charlie II inquired.

"Before your time…or world." Juliana stated. Miguel and Caroline were right behind Charlie and Ash and Miguel was relentlessly kicking the back of Charlie's seat and she was biting her tongue trying not to tear what was left of his microscopic brain out.

"Knock it off you little zobe!" Charlie screamed as Charlie II, Caroline, and Miguel all gasped horrified and in utter shock.

"You RACIST! The politically correct terminology would be Zobo, please watch your language, sister, dear." Miguel corrected.

"I'm gonna _Zobo_ your sorry little zobe butt if you don't quit kicking my chair!" Charlie yelled with a threat.

"_**Well**_!" Miguel said in a snit as he turned around and stuck up his nose.

"Charlie, calm down maybe you should try some relaxation exercises. My friend Brock always used to tell me-" Ash began before being interrupted.

"I know who Brock is he's come begging for money on more than one occasion." Charlie sneered.

"He wanted to be a doctor but he needed financial aid!" Ash advocated.

"What do I look like the Kanto government, and you always said he wanted to be a Pokémon Breeder…whatever that's suppose to mean…not sure I want to know…" Charlie replied.

"I told you a hundred times it's not as creepy as it sounds!" Ash shouted.

"Whatever you say, _dear_…" Charlie said dismissing the thought.

"You know there was this one time that Iris, Dawn, May, Max, Gary, Tracey, Brock, Cilan, Kenny, Drew and Misty were all at my house for a Christmas Party and-" Ash began.

"And Jessie and James lit your house on fire and the Squirtle Squad came to the rescue and then Meowth had a heart attack and you felt guilty and-" Charlie interrupted as Betty popped her head down with a question.

"Don't you think Emma would make a great spine model, I mean look at her posture!" Betty exclaimed as Ash and Charlie just stared blankly at her like she had four heads. "I'm gonna turn around now…" Betty said and Emma started screaming as Ash and Charlie just stared at each other again wondering what was going on.

"No, you can't rip my spine out, Betty!" Emma screamed.

"I-I don't wanna know I learned that after attending school with them for eight years, but you wouldn't know about school would you? Because your mother let you run around the world at ten like a wild animal! She must've _really cared about you_…" Charlie insulted.

"I'll have you know that my mother loves me very much! And everyone in the Pokémon world goes on journeys at ten, it's like when you're eighteen here, it wasn't just my mom. And I did have an education!" Ash shouted defensively.

"You are the biggest momma's boy I've ever met, and you're so-called _education_, as you call it was kindergarten through 4th grade!" Charlie rebutted.

"…Yeah, but, I went to school after I became a Pokémon Master!" Ash yelled.

"Yeah, to learn about battle tactics." Charlie stated. "You're an ignorant little thing!"

"Well, I'm sorry for being born in the Pokémon world where instead of education, the way of making money is training Pokémon, that's the way it works over there, it's a part of growing up!" Ash said getting angry as Charlie bursted out laughing. "What's so funny?"

"It's just you're getting so worked up and serious about this! I mean I can see it now all the American children packing up their bags at ten and embarking on some quest to force animals to beat each other until they pass out and be the best one who makes these innocent creatures go unconscious… What is wrong with you people am I the only one who thinks there's something wrong with that whole picture? Kids must've been reported dead by the thousands…a day!" Charlie laughed as Ash became infuriated and stormed away.

"I'm not talking to you anymore!" Ash said in a snit as he sat next to a creepy old man with an arrow tattooed across his bald head. "Um, hello?"

"Hi there sonny!" said the freaky monk-like man.

"Um… what's with the arrow…sir." Ash asked, rudely.

"I'm the last airbender, and the avatar, Aang!" Aang exclaimed.

"Um, yeah…I'm gonna walk away now…" Ash said.

"No, but what about Katara!" Aang cried.

"Yeah…" Ash said as he quickly ran away from the stranger and sat back down next to Charlie.

"So you've came crawling back, eh?" Charlie snickered and Ash nodded slowly, still creeped out by this "avatar". Betty and Emma continued conversing, well, rather Emma went on a tirade about how terrible her life was and Betty ridiculed her along the way.

"Um, Emma, that's your ninth shot this plane ride…" Betty cautioned.

"What! Now people are going to try and run my life and tell me how much moonshine I can and cannot have!" Emma spazzed.

"No, it's just, um, I think it's sort of kind of illegal and I don't even know how you snuck it on here…and um, you're really, _really_ drunk." Betty said.

"So! So, what if I am, what're you gonna do about it! Tell Peter Pan, hell if he cares, he left me!" Emma cried, intoxicated.

"O_o Emma… _you_ left _him_, 'member?" Betty said timidly.

"Oh my fairy skipping lost boys, Wendy how could you say such a thing!" Emma shouted accusatively.

"…I'm not Wendy, I'm Betty, good God, you're loaded, Emma!" Betty exclaimed.

"No, I'm not, Jane stop saying things that not true, you a liar, liar captain hook lit your pants on fire!" Emma said.

"O_o… should I call a doctor…" Betty joked.

"Stop joshing me, Betsy!" Emma said, giggling inanely.

"…Note to self next time Emma wants alcohol take it away A.S.A.P." Betty said. Emma stood up and cleared her throat and lost her balance a second before collapsing onto the seat, then she slowly got back up and began to shout out to all the passengers.

"Listen up all you Shakespearean retards!" Emma yelled grabbing the attention of everyone on board. "Life ain't nutin' but a miserable, horrible, depressing scene! One day you'd be in love the next he's off to Neverland livin' it up with Tinker Bell, so here's be a warnin' for ya's all: We all ain't worth nothin' but a pile of dust we'll all be dead someday so why bother with getting' your heart torn out, 'long da way, ah? Am I right!" Emma said as her failed endeavor at an inspirational, hungover speech. "We all ain't gonna be nutin but a pile of ashes one day!"

"Ooo, ooo me, me my name's Ash! I already am a pile of ashes, cause my name's Ash, ah, ah, get it?" Ash said.

"Epic fail, sweetie, epic failure, leave the puns to the Pokémon Company USA they're episode titles are enough of a fail in the pun world…" Charlie said, shaking her head in disapproval. The rest of the passengers picked up their airline food wrappers and tossed them at Emma, whom then began to cry and then…vomit.

"Ew! Um, Emma I'm going to go sit somewhere else…kay?" Betty said as she slid over to sit next to Aang.

"Hello, young one, do you know of a woman named Katara?" Aang asked anxiously.

"Um, no…" Betty said beginning to wish she'd stayed with puking Emma. Then an announcement was said over the loudspeaker.

"All those headed to Sealand, please grab your parachutes and prepare for deportation!" The pilot announced.

"Holy crap, what!" Charlie screamed.

"If only I hadn't released Charizard!" Ash cried as he rocked back and forth, sucking his thumb and clutching onto Charlie's shirt weeping. "I want my Mommy! I want my Charizard, I want Cilan, I want Brock and I want my Pikachu!" Ash said beginning to cry hysterically.

"Pull yourself together, Einstein, or I'm jumping without 'cha!" Charlie threatened and Ash quickly stopped weeping.

"Can you please give me my Pikachu back I'll love you forever!" Ash begged.

"First of all, now isn't a good time! Second, you kind of sort of already promised me that you'd do that anyway at a little thing called our um-wedding! Thirdly, **WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, REGURGITATE IT**!" Charlie snapped.

"Okay, okay, let's calm down, everyone, deep breaths, deep breaths!" Caroline said reassuringly.

"If you don't shut that hippo mouth of yours I'll make wormadam sure that you won't be taking anymore _deep breaths_ for the rest of your hippopotamus' life!" Betty screamed in panic.

"Don't talk to my wife that way!" Miguel scolded.

"Shut up you hallucinating little brat!" Betty screamed.

"Don't talk to my daddy, the supreme ultra lord of Zobotron that way!" Charlie II shouted.

"Oh, cool ya mean that thing that Sheen use to like from Jimmy Neutron!" Emma exclaimed, still drunk.

"Guys, guys, chillax, I'll just transport us there via magic!" Juliana said.

"All hail Juliana!" Miguel praised as Juliana preformed a spell and they were all transported into Sealand in a heartbeat. A creepy old man approached them he had a long, blonde ponytail and an odd old baseball cap and he wore a distorted grin maliciously across his tethered, wrinkled face.

"Salutations, hipsters! Welcome to my crib! Together we can stop the Bieber Fever and put an end to global warming!" the stranger said failing to introduce himself.

"Daddy, why does that _man _have a ponytail?" Charlie II asked curiously.

"Because, dear, that man has psychological problems." Miguel explained.

"Says the boy who lives in an imaginary world married to a hippo with a green deformed dog toy as a son…" Charlie said.

"Ponytails are like totally in this season the Unova catalogue says so! So who wants to go on a Ferris wheel ride with me!" He said.

"N, are you being a child predator, _again_!" A voice called out.

"No, dear! Sorry, that's my fiancée, Cecelia being all overprotective, again! So who wants to give me their social security numbers!" N said. "…No one, what a wormadam shame, okay. Cecelia, hun, your friends are here!" N called.

"I know Shea showed up a week ago… FAIL N!" Cecelia said.

"No, _other_ weirdos!" N shouted as Cecelia came dashing outside with Shea.

"Wha-sha! Hi, guys!" Cecelia said.

"Hola people, long time, no see!" Shea said as her surrounding bodyguards also waved at long last the friends were reunited.


	5. She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not?

"Cecelia, please tell me this creep isn't your fiancé…" Betty mumbled.

"Of course this hottie is mine, your just jealous!" Cecelia said.

"Why in the name of everything that is holy and sacred in this world would I ever be jealous of some internet prouder who probably kidnaps children and takes them on _Ferris wheel rides_ and is a billion years old." Betty degraded.

"Changing the subject, so, N, what exactly does N stand for?" Juliana asked.

"My name is N Jones. The N stands for Norbert. Except I don't like Norbert. I just like N and that's all." N replied.

"Why do I have this sudden feeling of déjà vu, like I heard this in a children's book before?" Shea pondered.

"I know! It's from the Junie B. Jones series, she said that at the beginning of each book!" Charlie exclaimed.

"You remember this how…?" Betty said.

"Um, I have a little sister, Sheena likes them!" Charlie quickly stated.

"Sheena is 32." Betty said. "That excuse would've worked…25 years ago!"

"Shut up…" Charlie said with a frown of embarrassment. "N's the one quoting it, not me!"

"Guys let's go inside I've got some epic refreshments and yeah." Cecelia said trying to drift away from the inevitable arguments.

"Oh yay food, I haven't eaten anything since I forged through the Muffy's trash can!" Emma exclaimed.

"And the 500 gallons of booze you just chugged into your body..." Betty stated.

"Pfft, pfft, whiskey isn't filling…" Emma excused.

"Emma's an alcoholic! I knew it! Hahaha Emma!" Cecelia said as everyone moaned at the horrid laugh they wished to never hear again. Cecelia and N ran inside the abandon naval base's excuse for an interior and Shea quietly approached her friends and dismissed her guards.

"Howdy, your majesty!" Miguel said cheerfully.

"Oh, please, call me Shea!" Shea said modestly.

"So how's the presidential life been treating you?" Juliana asked.

"Good, how's Hogwarts?" Shea replied.

"It was awesome being a witch is great!" Juliana exclaimed.

"That's cool!" Shea responded and then she went up behind Charlie and nudged her arm.

"Guess what, guess what, guess what!" Shea exclaimed.

"What!" Charlie exclaimed growing excited.

"Hi!" Shea replied.

"I hate you." Charlie said disappointedly. "You're never gonna stop that are you…"

"Nope!" Shea said with a slick smile.

"You'd think that the President of the United States of America would be a bit more mature than that." Charlie said still bitter from the empty surprise.

"Yeah, you would wouldn't you!" Shea exclaimed. "No, but, seriously guys I'm like freaking out! Cecelia's going to eat our faces!"

"Why!" Betty asked.

"Unless you spent over a thousand dollars on your wedding gift each, she's sending you to the guillotine to be executed!" Shea cried.

"Isn't it your job as the president to ensure your citizens safety in foreign nations?" Juliana cried.

"Yeah, but Cecelia scares the crap outta me!" Shea quivered.

"I know what you mean and I'm a serial killer!" Betty confessed.

"Is that really something you want to admit to the head legal authority of your country?" Juliana pointed out.

"Oh Wormadam it! Canada here I come!" Betty announced.

"And then you preceded to tell her your hiding spot so the Canadians can send you back…T_T" Juliana stated.

"Y'know what, you're gonna be next!" Betty exclaimed.

"I'm just sayin'!" Juliana defended herself.

"So, Ash how's it going, treating Charlie well?" Shea asked.

"Yeah, like a princess problem is she isn't even treating me like a dead fly on a windshield…" Ash said glumly.

"Nah, Charlie's just a coldhearted jerk, I'm sure she does care, she's just all stubborn and proud." Shea said

"I know… It's just I wish she'd show a little appreciation every once in a while." Ash stated.

"That will happen once in a blue moon, you of all people should know that." Shea said as just then Cecelia came skipping up to them with a suspicious looking smirk on her face.

"What did you do." Shea asked apathetically.

"Nothing! Cause I am just that awesome like that. So Ash, where's your Pikachu?" Cecelia interrogated.

"I ate it." Shea said, she apparently still used that same signature catchphrase over the last forty years.

"Know Charlie did." Ash cried as he cupped his hand over his face. "I-I-I'm sorry if you'll excuse me…" Ash wept.

"Oh, really! I always just say that but, apparently, Charlie actually means it." Shea said, a it stunned at Charlie's even-more-than-usual obscure behavior.

"I told you she was the one with the sick mind, Mawile, not me **HaHAha**!" Cecelia cackled.

"… As president of America I've seen some pretty messed up stuff but nothing compares to all the absurdities I witnessed at my enrollment at St. Anna's elementary school….Cecelia." Shea said.

"Hey! What's that suppose to mean!" Cecelia said, offended. "I hate you."

"I don't care, when your president you learn to get over people's hatred. Especially when you have such a fantastic boyfriend!" Shea squealed.

"You have a boyfriend? Since when? Usually the press hops on that stuff?" Juliana said.

"Stop discluding us from everything!" Emma shouted.

"His name's Zuko! He's like the hottest fire bender eva! Get it cause he's a fire-bender, so he's hot? No one, come on not even a smile? You guys are so lame…Laugh at my corny puns or I'm deporting you all to Russia!" Shea ordered as everyone faked laughter.

"When did you turn into a dictator, we're suppose to be living in a democracy!" Emma protested.

"Dude, it was a joke!" Shea said.

"Oh…My sincerest apologies." Emma stated.

"Cecelia's got something up her sleeve. Keep an eye on her, okay, Ash? Can I count on you?" Charlie whispered to her husband.

"You bet!" Ash exclaimed boldly.

"I feel like an idiot for trusting the guy who never suspected the beyond obvious disguises of Team Rocket that were so relentless." Charlie stated.

"Hey, I was ten!" Ash said.

"No, you were an idiot. I was five and I knew it was Team Rocket. You and your friends were morons." Charlie said.

"Did you just watch my entire life on TV or something?" Ash said, a bit creeped out.

"Oh yeah you're life and travels were basically my childhood obsession. I also had an unhealthy hatred for you, and now look at me!" Charlie laughed to herself.

"You-you hated me!" Ash whimpered.

"Oh yeah more than Hitler!" Charlie said nonchalantly as Ash stood there, heartbroken.

"But, why! Wait you don't still hate me…do you?" Ash panicked.

"Because you cheated!" Charlie said accusatively.

"What, Charlie, how could you ever think such a thing I have always been faithful to you! I'm disappointed to think that you thought that I would ever-" Ash began.

"No, you idiot not like that, in the Battle Frontier."

"…What!" Ash said, confused.

"You didn't beat the Elite Four fair and square so you shouldn't of been permitted access to the Battle Frontier!" Charlie said.

"What! That makes no sense! You should hate Scott not me!" Ash said.

"Yeah, I learned that eventually but, I was an infuriated eight-year-old who spent 136 hours beating Pokémon Emerald, I was pretty pissed off." Charlie admitted. "I would go on these psychotic rampages for like ever!" Charlie stated.

"But-bu-bu-bu-but I love you!" Ash cried.

"Yeah and I love cheese curls, good for you, we all _love_ things!" Charlie replied.

"Hey wait, you love me now, right, Charlie, wait!" Ash yelped.

"Um, I gotta go talk to Emma, bye!" Charlie said.

"Charlie!" Ash cried. Everyone continued talking about there husbands, boyfriends of fiancés and Emma felt depressed and left out. Emma, ran off to the edge of Sealand(Y'know a whole meter) and screamed releasing all her anxiety of her lonely, pitiful, spinster life. She fell to her knees and buried her face into her hands and wept. Ash walked up beside her and became concerned.

"Emma, what's up?" Ash asked.

"My life's a wreck!" Emma cried hysterically.

"So's mine." Ash said.

"Oh yeah, I bet you didn't deserted your one true love get expelled from the high school of your dreams, by rejected for community college, have your McDonald's application literally shoved in your face as they laughed and you ran crying out the door, then have your cardboard box on the side of a highway go into foreclosure!" Emma ranted as she hyperventilated.

"No…But, my bestest buddy was eaten by my wife who now hates me!" Ash complained.

"Charlie doesn't hate you, Ash, I'm sure she loves you very much but, expresses it differently than a sane person would." Emma teased.

"Yeah…" Ash laughed. "Did Charlie really hate me as a child?" Ash asked.

"I wouldn't say _hate_." Emma said.

"You wouldn't!" Ash said happily.

"No, I'd say despised to death with burning passion that burned brighter than the sun's hottest point ever in the history of the sun's 6 billion year life." Emma replied.

"That makes me feel _great_, thanks, Emma, _you're a real pal_!" Ash said sarcastically.

"I speak the truth but, I'm sure she doesn't feel like that anymore, trust me, Charlie'd never marry someone unless she really loved them and was willing to spend her life with them. How she ended up loving you is beyond me, or all human comprehension…Heck, I don't even know if God knows how you two got together! But it'll be fine, Charlie just loves teasing people. You don't know your wife very well do you?" Emma said.

"No, no, I do, it's just been going on for a long time and sometimes I wonder if she really cares…" Ash cried. "And I miss Pikachu!" Ash sobbed in Emma's arms. Emma patted Ash on the back as he cried.

_"What a cry baby suck it up like a man, gosh, it was a stupid rat…"_ Emma thought to herself. Just then, Charlie came searching for Ash and found him in Emma's arms. *Gasp*

"Emma! How could you! And Ash I thought you were too stupid to pull a stunt like that! I hate all of you Emma, you jealous loser, I'm telling Betty! I hate you, and for you Ash, we're over!" Charlie ran off crying.

"No, Charlie, it's not what it looks like!" Ash cried out. "Emma, this is all your fault, I hate you, no wonder Peter left you!" Ash shouted.

"What! I hate my life! I'm gonna go drink away my problems…" Emma said and she went off sobbing to the bar, Ash went to go mope around on the pier, and Charlie went to cry to Betty.

**The drama continues-what will happen on **_**A Tale of Two Pities**_**, stay tunes for tomorrow's chapter! Will Charlie figure out the truth and reconcile with Ash and Emma? Will Emma ever get her life in line (pfft, no, knowing Emma JK) What will happen at Cecelia and N's wedding? What is Cecelia up to? Find out tomorrow in the exciting 5****th**** chapter of **_**A Tale of Two Pities**_**!**


	6. Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"Emma, you don't just go around hugging married people! I hate you! You're worse than Gary, Paul and Team Rocket combined! As if my relationship wasn't going bad enough before!" Ash shouted as he stormed away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean, it was just a friendly hug! Ugh, Charlie reminds me of Winnie every time I'd give Christopher a hug he thought I was two-timing him! I hate life!" Emma said as she kicked the railing of Sealand, which in turn left her toes throbbing. "Ouch! Wormadam it!" Emma cried out in pain. Charlie was inside Cecelia's house sobbing away telling everyone of the crimes that were committed against her.

"Emma stole Ash away from me! Just because she was jealous that no one loves her!" Charlie shouted.

"Emma, I knew it she's so horrible!" Betty declared.

"I know and Ash is even worse 3rd grade me had it right, I don't know what I ever saw in that guy! He's a cheater in more ways than one!" Charlie cried.

"It was such a _and then the fiancé walks in _moment. It's a wormadam shame that things can't be as grand and carefree as they were back in lesson seven…" Shea said glumly.

"I miss that week, the best week of my life!" Charlie cried.

"Those were the days, the golden days that have come and gone…claustrophobia…" Shea started in a pursuit to cheer up Charlie.

"Colleague." Said Charlie with a slight grin discretely visible through her blotchy tear-stung face.

"Condescend." Went Shea.

"Contingent."

"Daunt."

"Deluge."

"Dispel."

"Dub."

"Fanfare."

"Fledgling."

"Inane."

"Mettle."

"Negligible."

"Protract."

"Aaaaand Replica!" Shea said and they died of laughter. Betty, N, Cecelia, Juliana, and the Brizzles all just stared at them not having the slightest inkling of what was happening and just shrugged. Cecelia quietly shuffled over to N's side and began to whisper in his ear suspiciously. N nodded continuously as Cecelia kept a wicked smirk on her face.

"I'm scared." Juliana muttered.

"Me too!" Shea shouted.

"Now I'll never ever see my fiancé again!" Juliana cried.

"…You're engaged too? Is Emma and I the only ones who are single losers!" Betty complained.

"I'd rather be a single loser than have my heart torn out by some stupid anime character, he left me for _Emma_ imagine how I feel!" Charlie shouted.

"Oh, yeah, that's pretty awful I don't think anything can top that, being cheated on with _Emma_, yeah that sucks." Betty admitted.

"I know!" Charlie said.

"So, Juliana, who's the lucky guy?" Shea asked, again.

"Daren Chris!" Juliana squealed as Shea and Juliana began squealing like a bunch of _Twilight_ fangirls as they jumped up and down.

"Stop making me feel bad!" Charlie whined.

"…Well, Mrs. Party-pooper!" Shea exclaimed.

"I was, Mrs. Ketchum, but I guess not anymore!" Charlie cried as a helicopter noise could be heard loudly echoing over the hunk of metal in the middle of the ocean.

"Hey, it's Father Priestlydude!" Cecelia shrieked excitedly. "Yay, N now we can get married at long last!' Cecelia exclaimed.

"Yay now our Ferris wheel adventures never have to end!" N proclaimed.

"Yay!" Cecelia shouted as everyone, except Ash and Emma, came running out to greet Fr. Priestlydude as his helicopter landed.

"Hello, Father!" Cecelia said giddily.

"Greetings & Salutations your holiness!" N said.

"…Where are you guys going to get married?" Betty asked.

"Silly, child, a church!" N replied giddily.

"Child? I'm forty years old!" Betty shouted in response.

"That's a child too me!" N said with a disturbing wink.

"That's beyond creepy…It would be a thousand times easier to list the things _not_ wrong with you than to spend a decade saying what _is_ wrong with you." Betty remarked.

"That's hurtful!" N cried.

"Yeah well's so is staring at your face that has had so much plastic surgery you look like a Barbie doll nightmare on Elm's street gone wrong." Charlie sneered, butting in.

"What! I don't even get to be a ken doll! That's just degrading." N said as he sulked.

"The fact that you know what a Ken doll is when Barbie doll's haven't been manufactured in 25 years and you're a dude…I think, well, anyway it's disturbing is what it comes down to." Betty added.

"These two will be bewed in Saint Anna's Church in Oldtown Circle, Pennsylvania, you silly bumblebees there's no Catholic church in Sealand!" Father Priestlydude exclaimed as Emma beamed to the scene out of know where.

"IIIIIIIIII'MMMMM bringing home a baby bumblebee, won't my mommy be so proud of me! I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee-Ouch! It stung me, Wormadam those things!" Emma sang.

"It's Emma!" Betty exclaimed furiously as she stormed over to her side. Betty rolled up her sleeve and waved her fist in Emma's face.

"Eeep! Betty, stay back I'm warning you!" Emma shrieked. "Shea, you'll ensure the safety of your citizen, right?" Emma quivered.

"Nah, you deserve whatever Betty's prepared to dish out, you man-stealing-pig!" Shea shouted angrily. As Betty slapped Emma's face fiercely and Emma's eyes just started to tremble despite the fact no frown was visible across her face, well, because it was virtually impossible for Emma to frown.

"Ladies, ladies now is that would Jesus would do?" Fr. Priestlydude condemned them for quarrelling. "Now, Emma turn the other cheek!" He shouted, laughing as Emma gave him a death stare.

"Charlie, really I wasn't trying to steal Ash, I swear! He was just sad so I tried to cheer him up, something you haven't been capable of doing!" Emma retaliated.

"Excuse me!" Charlie shouted.

"Ya heard me!" Emma rebutted.

"You're just jealous!" Cecelia shouted.

"Stay out of it!" Emma shouted.

"Why so you can steal N away from her next or so you can just go get loaded somewhere!" Charlie shouted.

"So yeah as I was saying no Catholic church here we gotta go back to Oldtown Circle!" Fr. Priestlydude shouted as an endeavor to cease the wrangling.

"…If there's no Catholic Church, you're implying that there's another religion's church here…what?" Juliana asked.

"Oh it's Harvestisim Church!" Father Priestlydude replied.

"Harvestisim?" Juliana said clueless.

"Yes, it's those wack-o's that worship the Harvest Goddess and the Harvest King…they have issues." Fr. Priestlydude explained.

"What is a Harvest Goddess person?" she asked quite puzzled.

"It's this weird thing from these video games called Harvest Moon: Animal Parade and Tree of Tranquility. There are these freaks who take it too literally like this freak named Hamilton!" Fr. Priestlydude explained.

"…Let's change the subject!" Juliana suggested being utterly perturbed by this _Harvestisim_.

"Better yet let's go back to Oldtown Circle and get this wedding on a roll!" Cecelia exclaimed. "Wow that was out of character…"

"…If you were just going to get married in Oldtown Circle why the hell did you drag us out here in the first place!" Emma screamed.

"Are you in any position to be judging people?" Cecelia retorted.

"…It was a brilliant idea." Emma mumbled reluctantly.

"Let's just get outta here it brings back bad memories for Charlie…EMMA! Let's dump Emma off the deck and feed Ash to a shark tank and watch as they maul at his susceptible, vulnerable, feeble, dismal face as blood gushes from the water and his body as dragged down to the deepest trench of the ocean!" Betty said laughing maniacally as everyone shuffled away from Betty with looks of fear in their eyes. "Just a suggestion…or we could y'know ignore them…I guess…if you wanna do it the _old-fashioned way_.." Betty growled disappointedly. "You guys are such losers, I'm gonna go put a dead squirrel in the toilet for old time's sake, you comin' Charlie?" Betty said and Charlie grew a slight grin and ran off following Charlie on their mission to stuff a squirrel carcass in the toilet.

"Don't get the toilet clogged or your paying the bill!" Cecelia warned. As Betty and Charlie walked down the hallway searching for the restroom they heard wails of sadness from the men's room.

"What in the name of God is that!" Betty asked as they stopped dead in their tracks to hear the annoying wails.

"Good grief, I'd know that cry anywhere, I've heard it more than you'd expect…" Charlie admitted. "If that's the men's room why do I hear a girly cry of pain!" Charlie shouted angrily.

"WHAT! There's a girl in the men's room, what the crap!" Betty shouted. "I only go in the men's room to stuff dead bodies in there so I won't be as suspicious when the-…forget it." Betty began.

"No, you nincompoop it's Ash, I was insulting him." Charlie replied.

"…Who says nincompoop?" Betty stated.

"Who cares, I have to scream at him!" Charlie shouted as just then Ash popped out of the bathroom with a blotchy face. "Yeah, you should be crying! What you didn't know what you had until you lost it did you!" Charlie shouted. "Well you can kiss your totally awesome, superior wife goodbye…wait no you can't you can't kiss me goodbye…never mind that was a figure of speech! Just get lost! Go back to your fun little Pikachu world!" Charlie yelled.

"No, Charlie, I don't want to go anywhere unless it's with you!" Ash cried.

"Oh, please, how much sappier and cheesy can you get?" Betty muttered.

"Yeah, that, that, was lame." Charlie agreed.

"My point is Emma hugged me I had nothing to do with it Charlie, you've got to believe me, I love you more than anything(except Pikachu)!" Ash cried.

"…That is a monstrosity that Emma would do…" Charlie began contemplating Ash's excuse.

"So you'll forgive me!" Ash said eagerly.

"Yeah, I guess so!" Charlie agreed. "Sorry, for accusing you of the evils of Emma." Charlie said as Ash gave Charlie a great big embrace as Charlie grimaced. "I still despise hugs…" Charlie mumbled, aggravated.

"All's well, ends well, now who's ready to stuff some dead mammals in a potty!" Betty exclaimed.

"Oh yeah!" Charlie exclaimed and they dashed into the bathroom as Ash patiently awaited outside. Meanwhile, the others were having a squabble of their own. They were arguing over Emma, well, it was Emma vs. everyone. Shea had called in all the popular international news stations to broadcast Emma's sin nationwide.

"Now, Emma why did you steal Ash Ketchum away from his wife, Charlie?" A newswoman asked.

"I didn't!" Emma whined.

"That's not what my sources tell me? F.Y.I. my source is the President of the USA and co." she replied.

"They misinterpreted the event." Emma said defendantly and boldly.

"Guys, we're gonna miss the wedding!" Cecelia complained. "It was gonna be epic, I hate you all!"

"Uh, let's get away from the press!" Juliana exclaimed as she preformed a spell transporting everyone into St. Anna's church where several others were present already. Betty, Charlie and Ash were confused and the others were impressed and Fr. Priestlydude nearly had a heart attack. It was finally time for the wedding between N and Cecelia.


	7. For Gloom the Wedding Bells Toll!

The wedding bells tolled inside of Saint Anna's church and everything was already decorated perfectly. N's father, Ghestis was already even present.

"Okay who's ready to get hitched!" Fr. Priestlydude exclaimed.

"You're just going to get married on the spot?" Juliana asked.

"Sha-ya!" N shouted energetically. "It will be the single greatest moment of my life! *Squee*" N shouted.

"Yeah, Juliana, the sooner the better. Because I love N like so much and yeah." Cecelia proclaimed.

"Aren't you going to put on a wedding dress? And N, you look like you're ready to go down and attempt to wash the sewers of New York City." Betty remarked.

"Ugh, getting dressed up to get married is so cliché! Let's just do it now!" N shouted.

"That's my boy!" Ghestis said proudly.

"That's my daddy!" N replied.

"That's my creeped out face!" Charlie said mimicking the tone of their voices as she pointed to the perturbed looking expression on her flawless face.

"We are gathered here today to wed N Jones and Cecelia." Fr. Priestlydude began the wedding as the organ began to play and Cecelia processed up the aisle to the altar. Father continued the wedding mass until they got to the part where the vows take place.

"Do you N, promise to take Cecelia as lawful, beloved wife in sickness and in health or better or for worse as long as you both shall live?" Father asked.

"I do." N promised as he slipped a cheep, rusty, nut on her finger in place of a ring.

"This is my ring this is a screw, you cheapskate!" Cecelia shouted.

"That's my boy!" Ghestis exclaimed as he stood up and gave his son a standing ovation.

"Sit down, Dad!" N said brusquely.

"…Anyway do you, Cecelia promise to take N, to be your lawful-" Father began.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, wrap it up, Father!" Cecelia said begrudgingly at N.

"Okay…does anyone object that these two should be wed? Speak now or forever hold your piece." Father announced as Emma slowly arose from her pew with shaking hands. "Oh, for God's sake my first wedding and someone actually decides to speak a piece in the last hundred years! What, what is your objection…(idiot)" Fr. Priestlydude hollered.

"Now, she's trying to steal N from Cecelia, it's one man after another!" Charlie shouted accusatively as Emma ran out the Church.

"Okay, forgetting that… I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride!" Fr. Priestlydude said abruptly, and annoyed. "I'm going back to the rectory you people are a nightmare." He said and then left. They then all happily dashed out to the porch of the Church and Cecelia turned around and tossed back her bouquet and Emma caught it.

"Yeah, right, in your dreams!" Betty said snatching the bouquet from Emma.

"Okay, now off to celebrate on our honeymoon!" N declared. "We're off to Pallet Town, anyone is welcomed to accompany us!"

"Who invites people with them on their honeymoons?" said Juliana.

"Oh, we'll go!" Ash shouted eagerly.

"No, no we won't." Charlie demanded.

"Yeah, we have to go anyway." Ash stated.

"No, I hate that place, I hate everyone in your stupid little hometown." Charlie replied.

"Too bad, my Mom likes to see us every once in a while." Ash demanded.

"I hate your mother she's too _peppy_ or something." Charlie moaned.

"We'll all go!" Betty announced.

"Yeah!" Everyone cried simultaneously.

"Yay, I love Pallet Town, it's so romantic **3**" Cecelia said, clinging onto N's arm.

"Nooooooooo, one creepy pedophile is enough…now Professor Oak, why isn't he dead yet…" Charlie growled.

"It'll be fun, Charlie, you'll enjoy yourself, Gary's home too!" Ash said.

"Gary _Oak_! Why didn't you say so, let's go!" Charlie said enthusiastically in a flirty tone.

"No, Gary the ice cream driver down the street that hides crack in his _special surprise ice cream cones_." Ash said sarcastically. "What's so great about Gary anyhow…" Ash mumbled.

"Are you kidding he's Gary _Oak_!" Cecelia said as N scowled.

"He drove his own car and had his own personal squad of cheerleaders at age eleven!" Shea exclaimed.

"Gary's the coolest!" Betty shouted.

"I wanna give Gary a hug!" Juliana squealed.

"Everyone loves Gary even me and I hate everyone!" Emma stated.

"I don't…" Ash growled. "He's s overrated and _I'm_ underrated…"

"No, I think we've got you pegged! I give you a 4.8 on a scale of one-ten!" Charlie exclaimed. "And Gary's like a 999,999,999.9!"

"And even that's _underrating_ him!" said Shea. "And don't even get me started on Drew!"

"Let's just go….." Ash growled and n nodded his head in agreement.

"Hey, Juliana, could you do some Harry Potter spell that I do not know the name of so we don't have to waste money _again_ on a plane ticket?" asked Betty.

"If this Pallet Town place is in a parallel universe in another dimension isn't it virtually impossible to take a plane there?" Juliana stated.

"Just shut up!" Betty yelled feeling defeated and with a twirl of her wand and a chant of some sort of spell as they spiraled through the dimensions to the Pokémon world to the Kanto region, Pallet Town. They landed in the serene, quaint, pastoral little town in the central area of the town.

"Home sweet home!" Ash shouted pleasantly.

"Ugh, you are such a hick! Does this hillbilly vill even have any running water or as that to technologically advanced for you primitive people." Charlie said mudslinging at Ash's hometown.

"You know what Charlie!" Ash yelled.

"Calm down, you people from the boonies always get so worked up about you're wormadam hometowns! Where does all this senseless pride for rural wasteland come from, you've accomplished significantly less than any other people in the history of civilization, yet, you're the nationalistic people who have this vain boastful sense of braggadocios pride." Charlie said.

"What's so great about Mopmall, _Miss High and Mighty suburban girl_!" Ash screamed in advocate.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing. That's just it I don't have this irrational pride that I'm from Mopmall?" Charlie said. "Though, I must say we suburban people have a much better upbringing."

"Now, if you live in Oldtown Circle, that's were all the classy sophisticated people live!" said Cecelia.

"That's true." Agreed Emma.

"That's why I'm president of the United States of America!" Shea said pridefully.

"Yeah Oldtown Circle is like a billion times better than Mopmall." Said Juliana.

"I don't care what you people say I love Pallet Town! I'm going to my mother's now anyone's welcome to come." Ash said. "We don't have a lot of rooms though."

"Ugh, do I have to?" Charlie whined.

"Yeah, my Mom likes to see her daughter-in-law every century or two you keep avoiding her, stop." Ash reprimanded.

"She's so annoying!" Charlie complained.

"Dude, seriously! Stop complaining just go she can't be that bad." Shea stated.

"Thank you, Shea!" Ash said.

"You've never met the woman…" Charlie groaned as they all walked down the unpaved path to Ash's previous home.

"Yes, I'm home!" Ash cried happily as he dashed up the path to his door and flung it wide open. "Hey, Mom, I'm home, and I brought company!" Ash called out but there was no response. "Mom?"

"Oh well, what a shame she's not home, we'll come back next year!" Charlie stated.

"You're overreacting how bad could the lady be?" Emma said.

"When was the last time you watched an episode of Pokémon with _her_ in it?" Charlie asked.

"I don't know? First of all I haven't owned a television in the last twenty-five years!" Emma replied.

"Well, that explains it! She's so annoying! She's all like _how are you_ and Meh, _I have a garden_ and _Mr. Mime_ and-and _That's my Ash_!" Charlie said mocking Mrs. Ketchum.

"Oh, wow, she sounds so unbearably awful…" Emma said rolling her eyes.

"Eh, I agree with Charlie nice people are aggravating." Betty said.

"I hate children!" Cecelia blurted out of know where.

"Good for you." Said Juliana.

"Guys I'm scared what if something happened to my Mom?" Ash exclaimed.

"Then I'd praise to Lord the God above!" Charlie replied.

"I'm serious, Charlie!" Ash panicked. "What if an Entei took her!" Ash cried.

"Then that would be the stupidest Entei that ever lived." Said Charlie and Betty laughed.

"Guys, it isn't funny!" said Emma.

"Ash is being an idiot she probably went to the store or something…or to Professor Oak's if you know what I mean!" Charlie stated.

"Ew, you're sick!" Ash said as he kicked his wife's shin.

"Ouch! You loser!" Charlie said rubbing her shin. "Stupid, momma's boy…you so know there's something going on there seriously you haven't picked up on that?" Charlie said as she kicked him back.

"I am so sick and tired of you relentlessly insulting me and my family!" Ash yelled and the bickering continued, again, back and forth in a never ending loop.

"This was supposed to be our honeymoon but, Charlie and Ash ruin EVERYTHING!" Cecelia complained.

"First of all who invites people on their honeymoon? Secondly, why the heck Pallet Town?" Betty asked curiously.

"He's a bore." Cecelia said bluntly.

"Pallet Town's got gorgeous, picturesque, scenery." Said n brusquely. Emma was seen picking some daisies and Betty and Juliana walked over to confront her.

"EMMA!" Betty shouted at the top of her lungs to be heard over Ash and Charlie's obnoxious fighting. Emma jumped up, startled.

"What, what, what did I do now!" Emma squeaked.

"Nothing, I just like scaring you." Betty replied.

"I hate youuuuu!" Emma moaned.

"Me?" Juliana shouted.

"No, Betty she's demonic." Emma insulted.

"Yeah, well I _am_ a serial killer? A little slow on the up-take aren't we, Emma?" Betty retaliated.

" Poo " Said Emma.

"Ash and Charlie never shut up, I think they need to see a guidance counselor, seriously." Juliana suggested.

"Yeah, they probably should….says the world denounced convict." Betty agreed with a tint of sarcasm.

"Well, they're annoying as crap and I've never been to Pallet Town before so who wants to go sightseeing!" Juliana suggested.

"Oh, I'd love too!" Emma exclaimed.

"You just want to stare at flowers…and bumblebees T_T" Said Betty.

"So…." Emma said.

"Should we invite N and Cecelia?" asked Juliana.

"Just Cecelia, N freaks me out!" Betty reaffirmed.

"Hey, Cecelia, want to tour Pallet with us?" Betty requested her accompany.

"Yeah, sure! Hey N-" Cecelia began.

"No! He _**cannot**_ come!" Betty shouted instinctively.

"….Why, it is sort of our um, honeymoon?" Cecelia replied.

"He-ugh…um has….allergies! That's it _allergies_." Betty lied.

"Why wouldn't he tell me this? And why the heck would he go to a place he's allergic to for our honeymoon?" Cecelia pointed out.

"Cause….cause-ca-cause he was _afraid_ that you wouldn't marry him?" Betty took a shot at that horrible excuse for a lie.

"Oh, well I guess that makes sense…(not really) but anyway I'm coming with or without my husband!" Cecelia exclaimed and they began marching through the tiny town of Pallet.

"There's nothing here, _**NOTHING**_!" Betty shouted yanking on her own hair out of boredom and frustration.

"Yeah, maybe Charlie was right." Emma accepted. "For _once_."  
"N has horrible taste this is a stupid little obsolete village in the middle of nowhere." Cecelia moaned.

"I like it." Shea stated.

"Yeah, me too!" said Juliana. "Kind of…"

"I'd rather watch those two idiots fight than this boring path of tiny houses." Betty grumbled.

"Me too…" Emma agreed.

"Emma, you're the one who caused the problem!" Betty shouted as she slapped Emma's arm lightly.

"OWWWWWWWWWW!" Emma overreacted in exaggeration.

"Dude, calm down." Shea stated.

"…Anyone have any idea where the hell we are?" Emma interrogated.

"EMMA, stop using profanities it's inappropriate and uncalled for." Cecelia shouted.

"WELL!" Emma said. "Hey, maybe if we find Ash's stupid Mom Charlie and Ash will shut up!" Emma suggested.

"I don't know…" Betty pondered. "It might make Charlie even angrier."

"Yeah, but Ash and Charlie will shut up in front of the lady, probably." Shea stated.

"Okay, it's worth a shot nothing's worse than those two's bickering." Juliana said.

"Where'd Charlie say that she'd probably be, some guy named Professor Oak?" Betty asked.

"Yeah, we should check there first…even if it is creepy." Juliana agreed.

"Hi ho it's off to Oak's lab we go!' Emma chanted and everyone glared at her.

"I don't know what's worse the bumblebee song or _that_." Cecelia remarked and Emma attempted a frown.

"Hey, is that it up there?" Emma called out pointing at a large building with a windmill next to it.

"I think so, it's been a while since I've watched Pokémon." Juliana stated.

"I'm pretty sure that's it." Shea reaffirmed. Then they walked up the path leading to Oak's corral hen they got to the door they began arguing over who should ring the doorbell.

"I'm not!" Betty cried out. "All in favor of forcing Emma to do it cause she's a man-stealing-_Emma_ say I!" Betty proposed.

"I!" Everyone chanted respectively.

"I hate you all." Emma stated abruptly.

"Cool, now go!" said Shea as she shoved Emma forwards to ring the doorbell Emma hesitantly tiptoed over to the doorbell and slowly reached her finger toward the button, hands shaking she pressed it. It gave a regular sounding chime and footsteps could be heard coming down whatever staircase lied inside.

"Hello, Professor Oak's Lab, I'm Tracey how can help you?" said Tracey introducing himself.

"Hey, you're the girly man! With a headband and a girl's name my friend and I made fun of you all the time!" Cecelia called out.

"O_o I don't believe we've met…" Tracey said, perturbed.

"And f.y.i. it's a _sweat_band I didn't choose the name!" Tracey said dependently.

"Okay then…Anyway, could you get Professor Oak for us, please?" Shea asked.

"I know you! You're the president of America!" Tracey exclaimed.

"Yeah…" Shea said flipping her hair boastfully.

"You're like my idol! Will you sign my sketchbook!" Tracey exclaimed.

"Sure thing!" Shea said as Tracey pulled out an old sketchbook, flipping through his drawings to find a blank page.

"Pfft, I'm better than that!" Cecelia critiqued Tracey's artwork as Shea signed his book.

"Oh yeah?" Tracey said anticipating a challenge.

"Yeah!" Cecelia retorted.

"Yeah…probably I'm not so good." Tracey said shamefully.

"I knew it! **HahaHA**!" Cecelia mocked him.

"Meanie…Anyway I'll get the Professor for you _nice_ people." Tracey said as he ran upstairs to fetch Professor Oak.

"Yeah, I'm _nice _that's the word." Betty stated. Just then an old crippled looking man with a white lab coat and a red polo shirt came hobbling down the stairs on a walker.

"What do you younggin's want from me? GET OFF MY LAWN!" Oak shouted.

"Um…excuse me, Professor Oak, my name's Emma and I was curious if you might know where Delia Ketchum might be?" Emma asked.

"Scalawags! … Wait, Delia Ketchum what she askin' `bout me? Professor Oak said in a creepy tone.

"Noooooo….O_o" Emma replied.

"Well, if she ever asks for me tell her that Sammy Oak is _available_." Oak purred.

"You're a freak." Betty stated.

"SCALAWAG!" Oak called out.

"…He's like an older version of N." Juliana remarked.

"Hey, you're just _jealous_! D:" Cecelia said in an agitated voice.

"Stop mocking me just cuz I'm single and lonely!" Emma cried.

"You can have my number, sugar!" Oak exclaimed.

"EW! No! Peter is my one and only love!" Emma proclaimed.

"Then why'd you ditch him?" Betty asked.

"Shut up!" Emma said in defeat. "You're single and lonely too!" Emma shouted.

"I'm single cause I hate people and I'm certainly not lonely I had a boyfriend but he got me dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate and that was it!" Betty shouted.

"What you dump him?" Shea asked.

"Oh, you and him wish." Betty said laughing as they shimmied away from Betty.

"I can help you hipsters find Delia!" Oak said.

"Professor, you had a hip operation yesterday and have a major surgery tonight." Tracey reminded.

"Shut up! I pay you too much you little scalawag!" Oak demanded.

"But, Professor, you don't pay me anything…" Tracey stated.

"Like I said too much!" Oak said.

"Um, well thanks for your time we'll be seeing you…" Juliana said pursuing to leave.

"I'll come with ya'!" Oak announced.

"Greaaaaaaat…" Betty moaned facepalming herself.

"This will definitely help them two to shut up…" Shea said rolling her eyes as the search continues!

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	8. Caught Red Handed!

Continuing on their quest to locate Delia Ketchum in an endeavor to shut the mouths of Charlie and Ash; Shea, Betty, Juliana, Cecelia, Emma, and...Professor Oak continue to trek Pallet Town.

"Are we there yet?" Whined Professor Oak.

"I'd tell you if I had any idea where _there_ was!" Yelled Betty.

"Are you _sure_?" Oak persisted.

"Yeah." Mumbled Shea.

"Really, _really_ sure?" Oak asked, again.

"Yes." Juliana grunted.

"_Positive_?" he asked again.

"Indefinitely positive, 100% sure that we do **NOT** know the location of Delia Ketchum!" Screamed Cecelia.

"But, are you _entirely sure_?" Oak asked once more.

"Okay, fine, Mrs. Ketchum is right there." Shea said in an attempt to get the old geezer to shut his pie-hole.

"LIAR!" Screamed Oak.

"... ... ... I. am. going. to. KILL. You." Betty said clenching her fists and teeth as she inhaled deep breathes trying to restrain herself.

"Act your age, not your shoe size!" Emma blurted out.

"I would but, I don't think they make a size 94!" Oak shooted back.

"Emma, you failure!" Cecelia laughed.

"Okay, everyone settle down! Let's keep our eye on the ball!" Juliana ordered.

"Oh, okay, I can do that!" Oak said straitening his hair.

"*cough* pedophile *cough*" said Shea as they all continued ransacking the homes of the Pallet civilians in search of this one lady who might be able to pacify those two moronic idiots who needed to be muzzled.

"Can we give up? For all we know Betty might've gotten bored killed and stuffed her corpse behind a bush." Cecelia said accusatively.

"Pfft...I would never do that..." Betty replied.

"Who cares about her Ash and Charlie will shut up eventually and if not we could ditch 'em I mean we aren't shackled to them or anything." Juliana stated.

"But as citizens of the United States we must continue our quest with perseverance and as Americans we do not succumb to evil until the bitter end when we have leaped out of the darkness in victory! We must strive to out do evil for that is our American heritage to be the hero of the world and to protect one another from crime and the forces of unjust evil!" Shea preached.

"Delia Ketchum ain't a US citizen, and save it for the senate." Betty commented.

"Oh, she's not my problem then okay peace out people I'm going to Ash's house to order some pizza." Shea replied.

"Some speech...So much for caring about the general public." said Emma.

"What! She ain't my general public." Shea stated.

"But-but she's my true love!" Professor Oak cried.

"I don't care." Shea said.

"But I love her!" Oak cried.

"I don't care." Shea stated nonchalantly.

"...Anyone else notice that this guy's a perverted creeper?" said Emma.

"I don't care." Shea stated again, with apathy.

"...Betty killed someone last month!" Emma shouted.

"What else is new?" stated Juliana.

"Emma do you wanna be next!" Betty threatened.

"See, Mrs. President lady!" Emma cried.

"I don't care." Shea said.

"Zuko, _**YOUR FIANCEE**_, just died in a firebending accident!" Emma cried out.

"I. do not care." Shea said bluntly.

"YOU ARE AN EMOTIONLESS BLOB!" Cecelia shouted.

"I don't really care." Shea said. "I'm leaving now."

"Yeah, well guess what, Shea, _I _don't care, yeah doesn't feel so good from the other end of the stick!" Emma protested.

"I don't care." Shea said again as she backtracked the road to Ash's house and everyone followed, Professor Oak leaving a trail of tears.

"No one said the lady was dead or anything...we just stopped searching(freak) what do you care what're you her grandpa?" Asked Juliana.

"No...*sniffle* but I love her!" Oak cried.

"How old is she?" Juliana asked.

"57 and 3 months, 2 weeks and 5 days." Oak replied.

"Creeper." Juliana remarked bluntly and moved away to talk to Emma.

"So, Emma, what's up?" Juliana asked.

"Nothing, distressing over leaving my beloved Peter...the usual." Emma replied.

"Ah, I see, y'know there might be a way I can help you out." Juliana suggested as just then a blood curtailing scream of pain was heard from behind.

"WHAT WAS THAT!" Cecelia panicked." N save me!"

"It's the bumblebees they want revenge!" Emma cried.

"That's ridiculous Emma, it's obviously Voldemort!" Juliana cried.

"Oh yeah probably, him and Harry formed an evil alliance it was in the paper." Emma said informatively.

"Oh yeah I saw that! What a shame..." Juliana responded.

"Guys." Shea gulped. "Um, potential mortal crisis here!"

"Wha-where's Betty!" Cecelia shrieked and they heard the scream again.

"THE BUMBLEBEES TOOK HER AWAY!" Emma demanded. "This is why you should never bring your mommy a baby bumblebee or they'll form a super co-alliance coalition force and pursuit to conquer the world." Emma fantasized as everyone swiftly directed there eyes at Cecelia.

"What!" Cecelia said. Just then they heard one more scream that subtly faded out and the bushes began to rustle and out approached a shadowy figure.

"AHHHH the bumblebees emerged themselves and assembled the figure of a human to sting our honey pots off! I need a drink!" Emma cried as the figure came closer and closer and everyone screamed.

"Where is Charlie's good for nothing Pokémon trainer husband to save the world when you need him!" Shea cried until the figure became visible. "Betty? Oh, thank God, it's just you."

"Wormadam it, Betty you gave me a heart attack!" Juliana scolded.

"Wait a second if that screaming wasn't Betty then who..was..it...?" Juliana contemplated the situation.

"Oh, it was Oak I dragged him back there and beat him to death with his walker. He was creepy and irritating and he lived way more than his fair share." Betty explained apathetically.

"You killed him! I mean sure he was a disgusting freak but, YOU KILLED HIM!" Juliana cried out.

"Betty, what's wrong with you!" Shea cried.

"I'm still just glad it wasn't a bumblebee invasion!" Emma said catching her breath. "Or the lost boys, even worse!"

"Wait so you guys are going to rad m out! You stupid tattletale goodie-two-shoes! Those are all the quirks and idiosyncrasies that lead me to murder Kaylee!" Betty shouted.

"No, Betty, we aren't going to tell on you we're just disappointed in you're behavior, I cannot condone murder, I'm sorry, Betty." Juliana stated.

"I agree!" Emma said.

"So do I but, I don't care really." Shea exclaimed.

"Yeah, Betty, you don't just kill people like that...even I know that and I attempted to rule the universe!" Cecelia cried.

"What're we gonna tell the girly headband man, now?" Juliana questioned.

"Or worse yet, Gary!" Shea screamed.

"No, not poor, handsome, irresistibility deliciously hot Gary _Oak_! I wouldn't dare break his fragile, delicate yet sensitive sophisticated heart!" Cecelia whimpered.

"Is it just me or did she get married today?" Juliana remarked.

"Hey you know Gary's like the hottest!" Cecelia stated.

"Yeah..." Juliana replied.

"How do we tell someone almost as fabulous as Peter that his beloved grandfather was murdered!" Emma cried.

"See that's where you guys are mislead! We won't tell him that Oak was murdered!" Betty said as an attempted resolution.

"Then what do we tell him?" Shea exclaimed. "We gotta say something, Betty!"

"I don't know the guy was a dinosaur just say the heat was too much and he spontaneously suffered from cardiac arrest unbeknownst to us and when we unveiled the truth it was too late and we tragically watched Professor Samuel Oak wither away to heaven as he breathed his last words But I love her as we tearfully watched his life dissolve through are fingertips!" Betty said dramatically.

"You came up with that _too_ fast...O_o" Emma stated.

"Hey y'know what they say; practice makes perfect!" Betty said with a wink.

"But the man has blood stains drenched all over his body!" Juliana yelled.

"Oh, scream it to the world why don't cha? You might as well stick a big sticker on your head that say's: Betty killed Professor Samuel Oak." Betty yelled sarcastically.

"We caught you red handed, Betty, you can't be making any demands here!" Cecelia hollered.

"Fine, some friends you are…you kill somebody and they turn on you and won't help you out! It is a sad, sad world when you have a couple of backstabbing friends like you guys…" Betty said disappointedly.

"Oh, yeah _we're_ the back_**stabbers**_!" Shea yelled.

"Fine, fine I'll clean it up…God, you'd think this was all new to you people you look like you've never been involved with a murder before!" Betty stated.

"WE HAVEN'T!" Cecelia shouted.

"Ugh, you guys are such saints!" Betty remarked as she began cleaning off the blood, washing the blood stains out, and covering up the bruises on Professor Oak's dead body.

"The scariest part is that she keeps all the supplies for cleaning blood in her purse." Emma murmured.

"Okay, I'm done!" Betty declared as she dragged the body along the road to Ash's house and they finally arrived.

"Hey, Ash and Charlie aren't out fighting maybe they resolved their problem!" Juliana exclaimed.

"Yeah maybe!" Shea agreed hopefully.

"Okay, now everyone witnessing a corpse at your front door can be shocking to some this sort of thing must be handled with the utmost precision!" Betty instructed. "Allow me." She said and they all stepped away from the door.

"Be my Guest!" Cecelia exclaimed.

"Open the wormadam door you idiots I gotta hide this thing!" Betty screamed holding Professor Oak by the collar in one hand and pounding the door with her fist with the other.

"Betty!" Shea exclaimed as someone came to answer the door.

"What's all the fuss about, who are you people!" Delia Ketchum exclaimed.

"Hi!" Betty exclaimed with a big grin on her guilty face but, as she waved with both her hands she dropped Oak's corpse and it fell to the ground.

"Oh, Lord have mercy!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, horrified at the sight.

"What is it, Mom!" Ash yelled as he dashed to the door. "Oh, these are just some of Charlie's friends, Mom, I told them they could stay." Ash exclaimed.

"Oh. My. God." Ash cried as he saw what his mother was screaming about.

"Heeeeeyyyy, Ash what up?" Betty said.

"A-a-a-a-a-a-Ash?" Delia said.

"Wha-what?" Ash replied.

Delia swallowed hard and took a deep, overwhelming breath. "Why, is there Professor Oak's dead body my DOOR!" She shouted and Charlie overheard.

"Oh good grief…" Charlie said rolling her eyes as she came to the door.

"Surprise, Charlie, Happy Birthday!" Betty exclaimed as Charlie, Delia, and Ash slammed the door in their faces and began t freak out. Outside the door Betty laughed while the others twiddled their thumbs, sweat like pigs and paced back and forth being overcome with guilt.

_**What will happen next in the next exciting chapter? Will Betty confess what she's done and go to prison? What ever happened to Ash's mother? Why did Ash and Charlie cease fighting? Stay tuned to find out!**_


	9. Blood Isn't Always Thicker Than Water

"Professor Oak's corpse is on my front lawn!" Delia shrieked.

"I-I don't know what to do!" Ash screamed.

"I know we're going to go to jail!" Charlie cried.

"Yeah…way to set your priorities…" Ash grumbled. "Professor Oak meant a lot to me, Charlie! He was always there for me!"

"He did sort of creep me out…" Delia admitted.

"See!" Charlie exclaimed.

"You too, Mom!" Ash whined.

"He-he was always creeping around and sending me flowers and it-it was creepy…Still, that is no reason for him to be murdered!" Delia shouted.

"I don't want to be stuck in redneck jail for the rest of my life! I'm a super important businesswoman!" Charlie cried.

"Excuse me!" Delia exclaimed.

"She always says stuff like that, she thinks we're all hillbillies." Ash groaned.

"No-no I don't really, Delia! Ash is always trying to start a fight, aren't you,_ dear_." Charlie gritted through her teeth while all three of them were leaning against the door to prevent the body from touching their interior to avoid legal issues.

"Oh, yes my Ash always has been quite stubborn, right Mr. Mime!" Delia exclaimed.

"Don't be so concerned with the dead neighborhood friend on our lawn or anything, Mom!" Ash screamed sarcastically.

"Just let them in and will cremate the body!" Charlie said.

"ARE YOU CRAZY!" Ash shouted. "Then our fingerprints'll be all over…him."

"Ah, whatever and hey, Einstein, if the body is burned into ashes then what kind of fingerprints are they gonna find!" Charlie yelled.

"Oh, okay, so you just want to take my neighbor's body and burn it in my fireplace CAUSE I'M PERFECTLY OKAY WITH THAT & EVERYTHING!" Delia screamed.

"Eh, get over it." Charlie said. "It's our only choice."

"…Fine." Delia agreed reluctantly.

"Okay, guys you can take the body in here!" Charlie said holding the door for Betty to drag the body in with expertise.

"Thanks, you guys are lifesavers! So, what're we gonna do with this thing, burn, bury, dumpster, neighbor's basement, what's the story?" Betty said.

"This is so wrong! I feel so guilty!" Emma exclaimed.

"Softie…" Betty insulted.

"Yes, I feel guilt for murder, I am _such_ a wimp." Emma said sarcastically.

"Finally you admit it!" Betty exclaimed. "Where do you want this thing?"

"In a cemetery!" Ash cried. "Or in his office alive and well and crime-free!"

"Yeah, well guess what both those options are currently unavailable so pick another one!" Betty exclaimed.

"Toss it in the fire!" Charlie suggested.

"MWAHAHA put it in the neighbor's yard, heheheheheh!" Cecelia exclaimed. "And say April Fool's, that would get 'em goooooood."

"…Just…just let me get rid of it." Juliana offered.

"How are you gonna get rid of him?" asked Shea.

"I'll just send it in a tomb with some spell…This is so horrible I can't do it!" Juliana cried.

"Just do it!" Charlie shouted.

"But, he's a human being I-I can't just send him off like that after being viciously murdered without even a proper burial…His grandson deserves to know, Betty, I'm sorry." Juliana said.

"Yeah, Betty, I'm with Juliana on this one you can't toss away people like they're a mouse you just caught in a mouse trap!" Shea exclaimed.

"I concur!" Emma exclaimed.

"If only I cared about your opinions! Oh, well, come on, Sammy to the dumpster we go!" Betty exclaimed.

"No, Betty, don't!" Emma exclaimed.

"I've already got the US police after me I don't need the Kanto cops n my case next!" Betty yelled.

"Eh, Betty, you really should tell Gary…" said Charlie.

"I-I can't believe this…" Ash said beginning to cry.

"Grow up!" Betty said to Ash.

"Shut up, Betty, he just lost someone close to him that he didn't have to…and whose fault was that…ugh-yours, that's right! So shut up!" Charlie yelled.

"Well we all know he was closer to Mrs. Ketchum than Ash and she ain't yamming!" Betty hollered.

"…That's creepy!" Delia yelled. "Why does everyone think that the professor and I had this secret love affair he's much too old for me!"

"Blame 4kids…" Cecelia mumbled.

"Oak was so into you he even said so he was such a pedophile!" Betty yelled. "He deserved to die he was a nuisance to our world!"

"Don't talk about him that way! He was like a father to me!" Ash yelled, crying.

"Alright, honey, I wouldn't go that far…" Delia said.

"Well time to take out the trash! Let's go Sammy!" Betty said pulling the corpse to Delia's car.

"What the-! Don't drag his body in there!" Delia yelled.

"Ah, who cares!" Betty yelled.

"It's a brand new Bendz! I don't want it to smell!" Delia yelled.

"Mom!" Ash yelled.

"And it'll put his DNA in my car!" Mrs. Ketchum yelled.

"It's already all over your house!" Betty said.

"True…okay whatever!" Mrs. Ketchum agreed reluctantly.

"Aren't you going to say anything!" Emma yelled at Shea.

"Eh, I don't care." Shea replied.

"You don't care about anything!" Emma yelled in frustration and Shea giggled.

"Nope!" Shea replied and Emma pulled on her hair in frustration which led Shea to more laughter.

"Wormadam it!" Betty yelled. "His stupid arm popped off! Great, just what I need, more to carry!"

"Ewwwwwwwwww! Betty, you're disgusting!" Emma whined as Betty stuffed Oak's body and severed arm into the trunk of the brand new Marcedes.

"Anyone want to come for a joyride!" Betty offered.

"I think the joy has lost its luster when there's a dead guy in your trunk!" Juliana scremed.

"One word: bor-ring!" Betty said. "Guess it's just you and me Samster!"

"Will someone please come with me to tell Gary his grandfather is dead." Juliana said.

"I-I'll go…" Ash said sniffling.

"I'll go too." Charlie said.

"Why are you going, to see Gary I presume…" Ash groaned enviously.

"No, Ash, I know you're upset and I promised to be there for you." Charlie replied.

"Yeah, right!" Emma yelled.

"Yeah…I just wanna see Gary, let's go!" Charlie said pulling Ash out the door.

"Way to ruin a touching moment, Emma!" Cecelia yelled.

"Sor-ry!" Emma said. "It doesn't matter Ash must know that Charlie's feelings are bona fide."

"My Ash hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed…" Delia mumbled.

"You can say that again!" Shea agreed.

"Thanks, illegal, murdering criminal who is occupying my home out of the goodness of my heart!" Delia said.

"Er- I mean, what're you talking about, Ash is such a bright guy, heh, moms can be so hard on their kids, heh!" Shea said.

"That's what I thought you said." Mrs. Ketchum replied. Ash and Charlie walked up the dusty Pallet road to Oak's corral to give Gary and Tracey the bad news. They knocked on the door and Gary and Tracey both answered.

"Hey, Ashy-boy any luck finding your mom, guess you're here to drop off Grandpa!" Gary said cheerfully.

"Yeah, Mom's fine…" Ash said, stalling.

"Gary, about your grandfather…" Charlie began.

"Yeah?" Gary asked.

"I'm really sorry he had a heart attack and we couldn't save him…" Charlie replied.

"Oh…" Gary said.

"I'm so sorry, Gary." Ash said offering his deepest condolences.

"Woo-hoo!" Gary said as he jumped up in the air and span around.

"Say what!" Ash said, slack jawed.

"Now the lab is all mine I'm rich!" Gary exclaimed.

"Th-this can't be happening! No, no, no, you're lying!" Tracey cried.

"I wish I were, Trace." Ash said.

"No!" Tracey screamed in hysteria.

"Tracey, please, there was nothing anyone could've done!" Charlie lied.

"B-b-but, this can't happen…no." Tracey said hyperventilating and he ran upstairs.

"You win some and you lose some, eh, Ashy-boy?" Gary said.

"_You're sooo brave, Gary_!" Charlie said in a flirtatious tone while fluttering her eyelashes.

"Brave? He's a gold-digging jerk! Gary how could you be so cold? The professor raised you after your parents died didn't you love him at all!" Ash yelled.

"Nah, he creeped me out! And I've still got my fantabulous cheerleading squad!" Gary replied and Ash slapped Gary's face and then slammed the door, afraid Gary would come at him.

"Ash! Why did you do that! You're just jealous because Gary is more attractive than you so you tried to ruin his face!" Charlie yelled.

"No, Charlie, you never understand me! Gary doesn't even care that his grandfather that raised and provided for him is dead Tracey and I are more upset not only does he not care, he's glad. And to think you agree with him I don't even know why I loved you in the first place you're just as shallow as him! If you like Gary so much why didn't you just marry him!" Ash yelled and then stormed away in a fury.

"…Cause I'm not worthy enough of his Garyness!" Charlie mumbled with a sigh. "He'll be back, they _always_ come back." Charlie said s Ash stormed away. Meanwhile, Betty was busy disposing of Oak's body. What will happen next!

_**OMG Short chapter! Sorry guys but I got tired and hot in our stupid office room at eleven at night!**_

_**I'll make it extra long next chapter!**_

_**But I needed to update cause I haven't in forvere ;)**_

_**Ciao!**_

_**~Maureen**_


	10. Loose Lips Sink Ships!

"Go in! You stupid thing, why the heck are you so heavy!" Betty shouted in agitation trying to get Professor Oak's body inside the dumpster. Finally Betty managed to get Oak's body into the dumpster as she clapped her hands together getting the grease off. "Ugh, that's right I still have to put the arm in…Wormadam my life!" Betty yelled in frustration as she lifted the severed arm and chucked it up into the dumpster leaving a trail of blood. "Great, just great now there's blood drooping all over the parking lot! Ah, the heck with it, they can assume what they want, I'll just say a dog bit me…Ah, crap there's no dogs in this world…Fine a Magicarp bit me…whatever that is, I've heard the name before, I'll say that bit me and I bled." Betty said trying to devise an excuse if push came to shove. Just then Charlie was seen grumbling to herself as she walked back to Ash's house.

"Hey, Charlie, come here!" Betty called beckoning her to the scene. Charlie walked down to Betty in the parking lot near the dumpster.

"What?" Charlie asked bluntly.

"If you saw this trail of blood leading into the dumpster what would you do?" Betty questioned.

"Laugh and then look in the dumpster." Charlie said abruptly.

"Crap! So you would look in the dumpster…" Betty said.

"Well, yeah, trails of blood always intrigued me." Charlie replied.

"Ugh, will you help me clean up this blood then?" Betty moaned.

"Fine…" Charlie agreed reluctantly.

"Yay! Thanks, Charles!" Betty said.

"Charles? What?" Charlie stated.

"Charlie is a nickname for Charlotte not Charles how many times do I have to explain that to you! That's why I also was dubbed Lotty for awhile." Charlie explained.

"Like it matters, just grab a wipe and help me mop up this Oak blood." Betty ordered.

"Do you want me to help you or not?" Charlie said irascibly.

"Okay, okay _Charlie _I'll shut up, jeez!" Betty exclaimed as they wiped away the markings of blood on the tar. Just then a seemingly familiar face came strolling down the path, headed towards the parking lot, her favorite shortcut to Pallet Town.

"Oh, good grief…is that-" Charlie began. "Ugh, it is, it is…"

"Who is that, Charlie, do you know her? More importantly how can she affect me, will she tell on me!" Betty panicked.

"If she knows that I know you then yes…she's the devil in disguise!" Charlie exclaimed.

"So she's Emma?" Betty guessed.

"No…_worse_." Charlie uttered.

"Worse…? Than _Emma_! That bad!" Betty said emphatically.

"Yes, her name is Misty, Misty the evil!" Charlie exclaimed. "Just hide me!"

"Okay, okay, chill out!" Betty said as Misty walked right passed them but, then she desisted walking and backtracked her steps.

"Is that you, Charlie?" Misty asked.

"No, who's Charlie, oh, what a pretty name, though oh!" Charlie said in a horrible voice disguise.

"Yes, yes it is…for a boy!" Misty said dauntingly. "Come outta there, Charlie _Ketchum_." Misty demanded covetously.

"Yeah, but, Ash chose me." Charlie said grinning, knowing that no matter what Misty shot at her Charlie could always dart back the same insult and it would get her each and every time, she still had never let Ash go.

"…You stupid toad-face! I'm gonna-…Say, where is Ash anyway?" Misty asked.

"You don't have to know." Charlie said.

"Did you send him storming away with more insults again?" Betty inquired.

"Oh, so, you send Ash running away with insults?" Misty said.

"Yeah, well, so did you, you bashed him all the time when you were kids! And Betty is a diabolical evil mastermind!" Charlie yelled defensively.

"How the heck do you know what was going on in my childhood?" Misty asked.

"…I kind of…sort of…watched your entire life on TV." Charlie confessed.

"I knew it! Your friends even told me that you worshipped me!" Misty said.

"I didn't _worship_ you…I _idolized_ you." Charlie said.

"You went into denial when I left the series and made up a made up season called Pokémon Beware that I was in…" Misty yelled back.

"Hey, I was seven, okay?" Charlie said.

"You disappointed millions of fans worldwide!" Misty yelled.

"How the heck did I do that!" Charlie screamed.

"You crushed the hopes and dreams of Pokeshippers everywhere!" Misty yelled. "And Pearlshippers…and advanceshippers…and Negaishippers…and you sent all the fangirls on a rampage to burn down the Pokémon company." Misty yelled. "But! If you hadn't stolen Ash he would have picked me and at least Pokeshipping would have prevailed!"

"Well, too bad for you losers! Ash x Charlie for the win!" Charlie screamed.

"I'm leaving!" Misty said in a snit.

"Good, bye-bye!" Charlie said shooing her away. "Hasta la vista! Don't let the door hit you on the way out, good riddance, ciao!"

"I'm leaving to find Ash, since you upset him!" Misty yelled.

"Ash, is being pathetic…I mean it was just Professor Oak!" Charlie yelled.

"Which I, Betty, had no affiliation with it _at all_, _nothing_ to do with it was such a random tragedy, Lord knows where these things come from! It was like boom, all of a sudden not like _anyone_ beat him to death with his walker or anything, `cause like that would be really blatant and like yeah, not anything under those circumstances…of course if it was a murder, hypothetically speaking, of course, I would know nothing of it because I'm not a murderer!" Betty said.

"You're blowing it, Betty, just shut up…" Charlie mumbled.

"Oh my God, the professor passed away!" Misty cried. "No wonder Ash is so upset he and the professor were always so close…What did you do to him!" Misty said accusatively.

"What, nothing why would you think I did something, because _**I DIDN'T!**_!" Betty shouted psychotically.

"Betty, she was accusing me, and she was accusing me of upsetting Ash, not slaughtering Professor Oak, nobody cares about him except Tracey and Ash…" Charlie replied.

"Oh…yeah, of course…pfft, I knew that…I was just saying…making it clear that y'know I'm not responsible for Oak's death, cause I'm not so why would you think that anyway, right?" Betty said.

"Yeah…Like I said…leaving now." Misty said as she ran away from Betty screaming.

"Wait to go, Betty!" Charlie said exchanging a high-five with Betty. Meanwhile, over at the Ketchum's house with Juliana, Emma, Shea, Cecelia, N and Mrs. Ketchum were on the couch conversing until a sudden awkward silence swept over the room.

"So…did you ever here the one about the chicken, who crossed the road? Y'know, to get to the other side?" Shea said and everyone just stared at her like she had four heads. "I don't know! Charlie always said that, so I thought I'd give it a try…don't know why…she always got the same response…"

"OMG, OMG, OMG, guys guess what!" Emma said.

"You're leaving…" Mrs. Ketchum grumbled.

"No…" Emma said glumly. "Tomorrow is Friday, Friday we gotta get down on Friday! Fun, fun, fun, we so excited!" Emma sang.

"I will kill you right now." Juliana stated firmly.

"When'd you turn into Betty?" Shea commented.

"When Emma started singing Rebecca Black." Juliana said with a distant, perturbed gleam in her eyes.

"Ugh, I gotta go get something to eat…gotta have my bowl gotta have cereal." Emma sang as she sprinted to the kitchen as Juliana gave Emma a serious death stare. Just then Ash slammed open the door with a blotchy, tear-stung face of neglect.

"What now, drama queen?" Cecelia asked.

"Ash, what's the matter?" Delia asked.

"I don't maybe the fact that you're his mother…" N grumbled.

"Don't get me started on what's wrong with you, buddy!" Delia yelled and N kept quiet.

"Nobody loves me!" Ash cried and a silence filled the room *cricket~cricket*.

"That's not true, Ash, I love you! (sorta)" Delia said.

"Great, you love me, no one that matters does!" Ash exclaimed plopping himself down on the couch.

"Gee, I feel loved…" Delia groaned.

"Charlie, loves you, she married you!" Shea said reassuringly.

"No, she loves Gary…_everyone_ loves Gary…and everybody hates me." Ash moaned like a child.

"No, Ash, everybody hates Chris, duh." Juliana remarked. Emma walked into the room and looked around at all the various options of seating on the couch.

"Kickin' in the front seat, kickin' in the back seat, gotta make my mind up, which seat can I take?" Emma sang, off key to mimic the actual vocals in the song.

"Wormadam it, Emma, there's only ONE seat to choose from, just like in Black's car there's only one seat, sit your butt down with your 13-year-old driving friends and just go! I don't see how her seating options is such a confliction in her life that she has to write a song about it…if that's her biggest worry I'll trade lives in a second!" Juliana said.

"But, Juliana, we gotta be kickin' in the front seat kick-" Emma started to sing.

"I'm gonna be kickin' on your right leg, kickin' on your left leg gotta make my mind up, which leg will I kick?" Shea yelled.

"Okay, okay guys calm yourselves!" Emma said. "…We appreciate you, we think you are great, we appreciate you, yeah you really rate!" she sang.

"EMMA!" Cecelia screamed.

"You guys are so mean!" Emma whined.

"If you continue singing unbearably exasperating, nauseating, irritating songs you'll learn the true meaning of mean!" Cecelia screamed.

"You irk me…" Emma growled.

"That's great go be irked elsewhere with a muzzle or duct tape on your mouth!" Cecelia rebutted.

"I hate you all." Emma said.

"Ash, where did you think you'd end up back when you were a kid." N asked curiously.

"In a ditch with a bunch of man eating Pikachus! Oh…the irony…" Cecelia exclaimed spontaneously.

"O_o Noooooooooooooo… I don't know, I guess a Pokémon Master, why?" Ash replied.

"No reason…heheheheheh…" N said deviously.

"I'm not even going to ask…" Shea said as she watched N laugh maliciously thinking:_" What the heck did Cecelia just commit her life to?" _When all of a sudden a knock was heard at the door.

"Oh, that must be Charlie and Betty returning from their _adventure_, I'll get it!" Delia said as she went up to greet them at the door.

"Hi, Mrs. Ketchum!" Misty said pleasantly.

"Oh, hello, Misty what a surprise!" Delia said. "Please, please come in!"

"Thanks!" Misty said as she stepped through the door. "Oh, having a party?"

"No…" Delia mumbled. "Not one that I'm the hostess of anyway…"

"Oh, well I'm sorry to barge in I wanted to say hello, I heard Ash was in town!" Misty said.

"Yeah, he's right over there!" Delia replied and Misty walked over to talk to him.

"Hey, Ash!" Misty exclaimed.

"Hey, Misty!" Ash said happily.

"I'm sorry about Professor Oak." Misty stated offering her condolences.

"Yeah…" Ash said, eyes watering. "Do you wanna go talk outside it's a little hard to hear with everyone screaming in here."

"Sure!" Misty agreed and they walked outside, unbeknownst to them that Charlie and Betty were spying and eavesdropping on them from the bushes.

"Look, at him!" Charlie whispered crossly into Betty's ear. "He's flirting with her, I told you Misty is the devil in disguise!"

"They're just talking, Charlie, you're overreacting…" Betty replied.

"NO! You're _under_ reacting!" Charlie whispered back irately.

"Besides, everyone knows that Kyuebey and Emma are the devil in disguise." Betty said.

"Whoever _everybody_ is never met Misty!" Charlie said.

"Yeah, when we told Gary that Oak was dead he didn't even care, Tracey flipped but Gary was glad, and Charlie sided with him!" Ash explained to Misty.

"Ouch." Misty replied.

"I know! Then Charlie kept saying how great Gary is…" Ash growled.

"Jealous?" Misty said and Ash nodded. "Yeah…been there, done that."

"Y'know, Charlie swears that your jealous of her and that's why you didn't come to our wedding." Ash said. "Isn't that ridiculous!"

"Oh, yeah….totally…" Misty lied. "It was just cause…um I was…mad at you that day…yeah that was it, I was _mad_."

"Mad? Why? How could you have been to skip my wedding?" Ash asked.

"Um…because, you, ugh, um, owe me a bike, yes you better repay me for my broken bike, Ash Ketchum!" Misty yelled.

"…Your bike…Wait, what! That was over thirty years ago! … …And if I remember correctly you _did_ get your bike back! And you forgot about the bike halfway through Kanto anyway!" Ash shouted.

"Well, I remembered, and got temporarily mad…Because technically _you_ didn't repay me for the bike _Nurse Joy_ just fixed it." Misty explained her rationale behind her excuse to cover her envy.

"Well, that's stupid…" Ash said.

"Well, maybe I felt like being stupid!" Misty screamed.

"Maybe she is stupid…" Charlie grumbled to Betty in the bushes.

"Over-re-action!" Betty said in chiming each syllable.

"…Say, Ash, where's Pikachu at?" Misty asked.

"…Charlie ate it…" Ash said in an agitated tone.

"She ate it? Like…she _ate_ it?" Misty said, stunned.

"Yes, she ate it. She fried it, devoured it and it died." Ash said.

"Oh God! Poor Pikachu!" Misty screamed. "Some wife you got there…"

"I know, she sounds bad, but, that's just how she is." Ash replied.

"Whatever you say, Ash…" Misty stated.

"Isn't she demonic, I mean look at her satanic face!" Charlie told Betty.

"Okay, I am officially taking you to a shrink, I am scheduling the appointment like right now!" Betty said.

"I'm officially taking you to anger management classes…or prison!" Charlie responded.

"Touché…" Betty replied.

"Well, I gotta go, Ash, maybe I'll see you tomorrow!" Misty said.

"Okay, see ya later then, Misty!" Ash said as Misty departed to Cerulean City and Ash walked back inside his house.

"Okay, the coast is clear, let's go in!" Charlie decided and Betty just went along with it.

"It's like you're looking for a conspiracy theory because you're bored…" Betty commented.

"Shut up, Betty!" Charlie said. "Or this murderer is going to be murdered!"

"Alright, alright, take a chill pill, what're you an Emma!" Betty said as they stepped inside the Ketchum house.

"Hello, Mrs. Ketchum…" Ash said in a snit as Betty and Charlie entered the house.

"Ash, that is no way to address your mother!" Delia reprimanded.

"…I was talking to my wife, Mom…" Ash replied.

"Well, that's no way to talk to her either." Delia said.

"Yeah, Ash!" Charlie said.

"That's it, I'm taking you two to see a guidance counselor!" Cecelia exclaimed.

"…We-we do not need to go to a guidance counselor!" Charlie barked back.

"Um, yeah you do, okay fine we'll call it a marriage counselor!" Cecelia said.

"Ew." Charlie stated in response.

"Hmph, maybe that's what we need!" Ash replied.

"EW!" Charlie said. "You can't make me!"

"Charlie, you need help, think of the children!" Juliana coaxed.

"EW…_Children_…" Cecelia shuddered.

"What the crap do children have to do with anything!" Charlie rationalized.

"Because…" Juliana said. "Isn't it obvious…ugh, mortals these days, what're ya gonna do?"

"…I have no idea what you're talking about!" Charlie responded.

"If you can't do it for the children do it for Gary!" Juliana suggested.

"Gary…" Charlie stated, drooling. "Okay, I think I can do that…"

"Good, I'll schedule the appointment!" Cecelia concluded.

"This will be good for the two of you, you'll see!" Delia exclaimed.

"Yeah…maybe we'll take you and Mimey over there next, you shouldn't live together without being married, y'know." Charlie said.

"WHAT! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SUGGEST!" Delia freaked out.

"Pfft, have you seen the sheep's eyes it make s at you, ob-vi-ous!" Charlie said.

"YOU HAVE A SICK MIND!" Shea shouted.

"You, have no emotions!" Charlie rebutted an Shea walked up and kicked her in the shin.

"…Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday, today it is Friday, Friday-" Emma sang.

"EMMA NO, NO, SHUT UP, SING THE BUMBLEBEE SONG, ANYTHING BUT _THAT_ SONG!" Charlie screamed as she pushed two satin pillows against her ears to muffle the deafening sound of the horrendous song.

"Okay…It's prom night, prom night!" Emma began but quickly desisted after receiving multiple death stares.

"Okay-dokey! The appointment has been scheduled for today at five, I'll escort you!" Cecelia decided.

"What, today?" Ash exclaimed.

"What better time than the present to sort your problems out and find love!" Juliana stated.

"Shut up, Opera!" Charlie yelled.

"You must come together and love your spouse!" N commented.

"You too, Dr. Phill!" Charlie shouted.

"Oh my gosh, Charlie, I have like the cutest dress that would look absolutely, positively, ravishing on you! Oh my gosh come up stairs you can try it on!" Delia said.

"Ew, gross I don't want to wear old lady clothes…and why the heck would I get dressed up to go see a psychiatrist?" Charlie replied.

"I don't know…shrink's like to see their patients looking their finest!" Delia said.

"…Mom was just trying to be nice, Charlie." Ash advocated.

"I hate nice people…" Charlie growled.

"OMG, me too, what a coincidence!" Betty said.

"I love nice people!" Shea exclaimed.

"You love everything…" Emma grumbled.

"I do!" Shea said making a heart sign with her hands. A couple of hours passed and it was almost time to go see the psychiatrist and Cecelia was about ready to force Charlie and Ash to go see the shrink.

"I don't see why were the ones who have to see the shrink when all we have is a few marital arguments and Betty is a serial killer, Emma is a fairy-skipping emo person who still hasn't gotten over her eighth grade crush and she lives on the streets, and Juliana is a wizard!" Charlie shouted.

"Hey! Wizards are awesome, okay!" Juliana said defensively.

"But, I loved him!" Emma cried.

"It has been thirty years…" Juliana muttered.

"Okay, were off to see shrink!" Cecelia said.

"Oh, okay bye, honey, good luck, I love you!" Delia called.

"You too, Mom!" Ash called back.

"EW! I hate this _love_ stuff…" Charlie growled.

"And yet I wonder where our marriage has gone wrong…" Ash groaned.

"Get outta here so we can have some peace and quiet!" Juliana yelled.

"Good riddance!" Betty said.

"Leave, I have to watch sop operas and Endurance, leave!" Emma called goodbye. The three hopped into the car and drove off to the Pallet counselor. Once they arrived they stepped out of the car to be greeted by the counselor's assistant.

"Is that…?" Cecelia asked.

"It can't be…?" Charlie said.

"But, it is?" Cecelia stated.

"Hello, welcome to the Pallet counseling institute I'm Mrs. Dunce, how can I help you?" Mrs. Dunce said.

"…Do we not look familiar to you?" Charlie asked.

"Sort of but, I'm superior to all so, I don't bother remembering the standard individual, commoner's name, it would waste my intellectual intelligence on such trivial matters." Mrs. Dunce explained.

"Yeah, because we wouldn't want something terrible to happen to such a brilliant, brainiac such as yourself. Like what if something like you getting fired from your teaching job at a parochial school and then you ended up in a parallel universe as an intern to a guy who solves others' problems…oh, wait." Charlie said back.

"I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse my wife, they must've skipped teaching etiquette in her pre-school." Ash said offensively.

"At least I went to school past pre-school, Mr. Courtesy!" Charlie shot back.

"Um, fourth grade!" Ash corrected.

"Oh, excuse me!" Charlie said. "I'm just a Princeton graduate with a doctrine in technology, what do I know…" Charlie said sarcastically. "Especially when compared to a fourth grade, drop-out, who's a hillbilly to boot!"

"If you're so great, why'd you end up with such a _loser_?" Ash said.

"…I don't know, I've got a pretty bad personality." Charlie admitted.

"See, why I brought them here!" Cecelia exclaimed.

"I think you two need to get your acts together! Grow up!" Mrs. Dunce shouted. "Now, please follow me as I direct you to Mr. Kyubey's office."

"Mr. Kyuebey?" Charlie reassured.

"Yup-dup-duppers!" Mrs. Dunce assured.

"What kind of name is that?" Ash asked.

"That's a very sensitive subject…" Mrs. Dunce explained.  
"Oh…" Cecelia said. They walked inside a peculiar looking room, that was decorated with only black and white décor. There was an office chair and a desk with the chair turned to the back of the patient.

"Hello, Mr. Kyuebey I have brought you your two newest patients." Mrs. Dunce said as she dismissed herself from his office. Kyuebey suddenly swished around from his leather, swivel chair making his appearance visible.

"Y-you're a Pokémon!" Charlie shouted. "You're all pink and fluffy!"

"That's not a Pokémon…" Ash said.

"You just love to contradict me, don't you?" Charlie said.

"No, no, I'm serious." Ash assured.

"Hello, please, please, have a seat." Kyuebey insisted.

"What the hell…that thing just talked without moving its mouth!" Charlie shouted.

"Yes, I speak telepathically." Kyuebey explained.

"That's not weird…" Cecelia commented.

"Now, what seems to be your issue?" Kyuebey asked.

"Right now, my problem is there's a freakish pink cat speaking to me through telepathy." Charlie answered.

"…Very funny, but, it seems to me that your problem is that you fight much too frequently." Kyuebey guessed.

"Yes!" Ash exclaimed.

"…No, we don't!" Charlie lied. "Ash, we gotta get out of here, I've got a foreboding feeling about that cat thing!" Charlie whispered in her husband's ear.

"You just wanna leave…" Ash replied.

"So, to be concise and cut to the chase I know a special way to make all of your problems vanish, almost like _magic_." Kyuebey explained.

"…That's great, bye!" Charlie said eagerly.

"I'm listening…" Ash said, as he stopped her.

"All you've got to do is sign this here contract!" Kyuebey said.

"And what exactly does the contract say?" Charlie asked with Cecelia intently observing the conversation like she was watching a flick.

"All you've gotta do is become a magical girl-" Kyuebey began until Ash gave him an irritated look "_Or boy_… and fight off witches!"

"Witches? Like what the wicked witch of the northeastern hemisphere, or like witches like Juliana?" Charlie asked.

"Neither, a whole new kind of evil witch that is a threat to our planet!" Kyuebey said.

"Nah, sounds pretty con-artsy to me, like you're trying to sell me something, I'll pass!" Charlie said declining the offer.

"You'll rue it!" Kyuebey persisted.

"Yeah, whatever, let's go Ash, this was a waste!" Charlie said. "Come on, Cecelia!"

"…Yeah, fine, stupid scam…" Ash mumbled.

"Sorry, guys I didn't know this was some sort of propagandist advertisement." Cecelia apologized.

"Eh, thanks for trying!" Charlie said. Then as Ash, Charlie and Cecelia left the building an eavesdropping Emma whom had followed them there walks into Kyuebey's room.

"I'm interested in signing a contract with you, Kyuebey!" Emma proclaimed.

"Wise decision, Emma, I myself signed a contract with Kyuebey!" Mrs. Dunce said as she popped out of nowhere.

"You're a magical girl, with that fat?" Emma remarked.

"Well, I'll be!" Mrs. Dunce said as she stuck her nose at Emma.

"Alright, then Emma tell me your dearest wish and I'll make the contract!" Kyuebey declared.

"I wish that Peter Pan loved me!" Emma announced and Kyuebey created the contract, therefore separating Emma's body and soul.

"So…does Peter love me now?" Emma asked.

"Go see for yourself, and I'll call you when I need you when a grief seed is forming." Kyuebey explained.

"Thank you, Kyuebey, thank you!" Emma squealed and ran off to find her lover.

"No, thank _you_…" Kyuebey said deceitfully as Emma dashed off to find her Peter and declare her superb news.

_**Next time Emma is reunited with her beloved Peter at last! **_

_**Update Saturday, May 7! Which is tomorrow! Yay~~~~**_


	11. Misery Loves Company

Emma came fairy-skipping out of the wondrous psychological center as she now called it. She spots Charlie, Ash and Cecelia walking back to Ash's home and she yells to them to proclaim her joyous news.

"I don't know why anyone would pay to tell some stranger their problems, I feel so tricked, wormadam it!" Charlie sulked as they walked until hearing Emma's merry, bothersome voice.

"Charlie, Ash, Cecelia, hey!" Emma called, grabbing their attention.

"What, Emma? Why am I not surprised that you followed us here?" Cecelia said.

"Forget that, I have excellent news! I made a contract with Kyuebey!" Emma exclaimed

"YOU WHAT!" Cecelia yelled.

"You're an idiot!" Charlie yelled.

"Why the heck did you do that!" Ash asked.

"Because now my beloved Peter will finally love me!" Emma tried to explain.

"…You're going to die, idiot." Charlie stated.

"Yeah, Emma, epic FAIL!" Cecelia laughed.

"What is wrong with you guys, you start to laugh when one of your best friends may die!" Ash cried. "You're sick!"

"Blah, blah, blah!" Emma said. "I have to go back to Ash's house and find my knight in shinning armor!" Emma said giddily as she hopped down the trail.

"She's toast!" Charlie laughed.

"You're telling me!" Cecelia laughed along.

"You both have issues!" Ash cried out. Emma arrived at the Ketchum's house to see Peter Pan standing at the front porch awaiting his true love.

"Peter…" Emma muttered tearfully.

"Emma, my darling!" Peter exclaimed but, as he turned around Emma's tears of joy converted to tears of sorrow. For Peter Pan looked around the age twelve. Peter came flying(literally, with pixie dust) and flooded Emma in embrace.

"Okay, okay kid, what's the deal?" Emma asked trying to shove the boy off of her. "Why are you like ten!"

"I am twelve and one quarter, actually! I love you with all my heart, Emma!" Peter said.

"…Kyuebey tricked me!" Emma yelled. "No, you aren't suppose to still have the Neverland effect!"

"Well, I do, but age does not testify love, right?" Peter said.

"Yer darn tootin'!" N called out the window.

"This is so creepy!" Emma cried. "I don't wanna be a pedophile!"

"I would never think of it that way, Emma, besides, baby, I'm such a hottie why-how, could you turn a hunk like me down? Whattaya say we head on down to Chuckie Cheese and play some games, one token per ride! Whattaya say, babe?" Peter suggested.

"…What do you need, a babysitter?" Emma said sarcastically.

"No a hot date to match my hot abs!" Peter exclaimed.

"…This sucks…" Emma mumbled as Charlie, Cecelia and Ash finally caught up to her and arrived at the Ketchum's home. Then she got an idea! An awful idea! The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea. Emma would trick Ash into also signing a contract, because the others were too bright for her but, not Ash he could be fooled easily.

"So, Emma, how'd your wish turn out?" Charlie said grinning, knowing all to well the wish was not being perceived the way she had intended.

"Yeah, Emma, are your wished being interoperated the way you planned?" Cecelia asked as Peter flocked around Emma like a bee to honey.

"Grrr, well, yeah, why wouldn't it!" Emma lied.

"Oh, well then good for you…" Charlie said.

"Yeah, okay, have fun with that by, Emma!" Cecelia said and the two girls walked indoors.

"You!" Emma said, extending her arm out to prevent Ash from entering his own home.

"What!" Ash responded.

"You wanna know a _secret_?" Emma asked.

"No! No, more _secrets_! Last time I found out a _secret_ it was something I _really_ could've done without! No more secrets…_no more_." Ash said, quivering.

"No, it's a secret to get you everything you ever wished for…" Emma began stepping up the first step of the ladder of deception.

"A Jirachi!" Ash exclaimed.

"No…Whatever that is…It's something better, all you have to do is battle these witch things like a Pokémon battle but, if you do you get a wish, it can be whatever you want…." Emma said.

"I don't know…I better check with Charlie first…she sort of rules the roost around here…" Ash said timidly.

"You shouldn't let Charlie boss you around, you need to be the one wearing the pants, you're the man aren't you!" Emma yelled.

"…Charlie wears pants sometimes so…" Ash said.

"YOU IDIOT IT WAS JUST A SIMILIE!" Emma shouted in frustration.

"Technically, it was a _metaphor_ because you didn't use the words; like or as." Ash corrected.

"Says the dimwit who didn't go to fifth grade…if _he's_ correcting me there must be a problem…" Emma stated. "Why don't you just come with me and Kyuebey will get you to sign a contact and all your worries will wear away!"

"I-I don't know…Charlie will kill me!" Ash said.

"Not if you wish for you two to be able to have a serene marriage!" Emma said.

"That's a good point I am getting weary of all this fighting day in and day out…" Ash said beginning to succumb to Emma's temptations.

"Then why not toss all those worries away and head on over to Cape May paradise-" Emma began to say. "Wait, no, darn it I got fired from NJ advertising! What I meant to say is throw your worries away with Kyuebey!"

"No worries, huh?" Ash said contemplating that statement, slowly capitulating to Emma's vigorous enticement.

"Yup, Kyuebey, 15 minutes could lose you 15 % or more of your average life span!" Emma said. "Oh, wait that doesn't sound good…Er, how about it'll save you money on car insurance!"

"My wife is a multi-trillionare I don't really care about saving money, and I swear I've heard that before…there was some commercial I feel like." Ash pondered.

"What, no! That's preposterous!" Emma said, pretending to laugh. "So are you in?"

"…I'm in." Ash whispered hesitantly.

"Excellent…" Emma said as she laughed maniacally. Emma and Ash made their way to Kyuebey's office to inform him of Ash's decision. They finally arrived and Emma requested Mrs. Dunce escort them to Mr. Kyuebey's office lounge.

"Back, already? I never guaranteed any satisfaction?" Kyuebey said.

"No, no, it's this man here, he wishes to become a puella magic!" Emma said as she smirked.

"Fantastic, beautiful work, Emma!" Kyuebey said congratulatory. "What is your wish, Ash?"

"I wish that Charlie would be forced to realize how much I matter and that she couldn't go on without me!" Ash said.

"God, that's sappy but, hey you're giving me your soul, so I can't complain." Kyuebey said in mockery.

"WHAT! EMMA, YOU NEVER MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT ME SURRENDERING MY SOUL!" Ash said.

"Don't you want to put an end to all the mayhem in your grievous life?" Kyuebey persuaded.

"…NO, I THINK I'M GOOD!" Ash screamed.

"Too bad!" Kyuebey said. "You already made your wish and agreed to my contract!" Kyuebey said as he removed Ash's soul and Emma watched the macabre sight. It was palpable that Ash regretted his decision of agreeing to Kyuebey's loathsome contract. "Okay, all done!"

"Is-is tha-that my soul in-in that jar!" Ash shrieked, feeling lightheaded.

"Yup!" Kyuebey exclaimed nonchalantly. "Here you go!" he said handing Ash his soul in a little container.

"Aren't you glad that you signed Kyuebey's contract!" Emma said.

"You tricked me!" Ash screamed.

"Misery loves company, what can I say!" Emma said.

"I hate you; you're horrible, just like Team Rocket, no _worse_!" Ash yelled.

"Oh well, tootles!" Emma said and she fairy-skipped away.

"I'll call you when a grief seed forms, for now go check out how I granted your wish." Kyuebey instructed.

"Forget it! Undo, undo, undo, I wanna press the B-button where is the B-button!" Ash cried.

"There's no B-button in the anime, Ash, that's games only." Kyuebey stated.

"No, no, I want my soul right back where it belongs! Put it back! I don't wanna be a zombie!" Ash cried.

"Too bad." Kyuebey said. Ash ran outside, hyperventilating to see a tremendous arena in the middle of Pallet.

"What the-?" Ash stated as he stared at the giant arena, beckoning him. As Ash stood there staring at the large arena Jessie, James and Meowth of Team Rocket grabbed him and stuffed him into the back of their truck. They drove with Ash kicking and screaming in the back all the way up to the stadium. They finally arrived at the empty stadium and they dragged Ash into a backroom in the arena.

"What is going on!" Ash demanded.

"Prepare for trouble!" Jessie shouted.

"Make it double!" James continued.

"To protect the world from devastation!" Jessie went on.

"To unite all people within our nation!" James said.

"To denounce the evils of truth and love-" Jessie tried to continue.

"YOU GUYS DIDN'T GET FIRED YET!" Ash exclaimed.

"No!" Jessie said defensively.

"Why would you think that, twerp!" James croaked.

"…Aren't you retired at least?" Ash mumbled.

"Are you suggesting that I'm old?" Jessie hollered.

"…no." Ash quivered. "Okay, look my wife ate Pikachu about a year ago so if you could just let me leave I'd really appreciate it."

"…Charlie ate Pikachu?" Meowth asked.

"Yes…" Ash sighed.

"She seamed so ice on the day of your wedding…" Meowth said.

"Don't they all…" James mumbled staring at Jessie.

"WOAH, WAIT A SECOND, WHAT!" Ash said in shock. "You two…got married!"

"Yes, unfortunately…" James mumbled which followed up with a kick in the shin by Jessie.

"Hey, why wasn't I invited! I invited you to my wedding?" Ash growled.

"We had to do it in secrecy otherwise Jessiebelle would have my head on a silver platter! And my parents…I don't even wanna know what they would do to me…" James explained.

"Well, if you don't want Pikachu, why did you kidnap me!" Ash yelled.

"Because we are here under HQ orders to keep you here until tomorrow when, you have to select one out of two doors." Meowth said.

"Why?" Ash asked bluntly. "Do I get a free car!"

"No, you get a lady or an Entei." Jessie replied.

"Entei…" Ash said trembling having flashbacks of his time in the time of Greenfield over thirty years ago.

"I pick the lady!" Ash squealed.

"If you pick the lady, you have to marry her." James said.

"But, I'm already married!" Ash cried.

"Sucks for you, those are the rules!" Jessie said. "Bye!"

"Wait, why are you doing this?" Ash asked.

"To keep you away from Charlie, she deserves better than you, twerp. It's a win-win situation for us." James said.

"Bye, twerp-o!" Meowth said and they slammed the door shut and locked it closed.

"Something smells like Kyuebey…" Ash groaned. "Stupid incubator." Ash remarked. Suddenly, Ash heard a creaking at the door and a gloomily-looking Betty walked in. "Betty!"

"Ash, shhh!" Betty said. "Listen, and listen up good, save all questions `till the end of the ride, okay?" Betty started and Ash nodded and began to listen intently. "Everyone knows about this, everyone in Pallet Town the word spread quicker than light. I found out that Charlie and Charlie alone knows which door contains which, the lady or the tiger-er, Entei, sorry I'm new to this Pokémon stuff. Charlie, along with Team Rocket will be on an elevated balcony above everyone look to her, she's the only one who can save you. If I knew which door had which I'd tell you, but I don't. Only Charlie can save you and if she really loves you she will even if that means losing you to another woman." Betty explained.

"But, I don't want to be married to another lady, I married Charlie!" Ash whined.

"Okay, die then!" Betty screamed. "Your options aren't very numerous!"

"Alright, aright fine…I hate Entei, I hate them!" Ash yelped.

"Alright, I have to leave or it'll start to become suspicious, good luck!" Betty said and she darted off. Back at the Ketchum's house everyone was freaking out.

"I told him you knew, Charlie." Betty whispered.

"…Did you tell him how I found out?" Charlie asked.

"No." Betty replied.

"This is horrible!" Cecelia exclaimed.

"I know Ash could get devoured by an Entei!" Emma cried.

"No, not that, I have to choose between chocolate chip and peanut butter!" Cecelia cried.

"Way to set your value of human life…" Emma groaned.

"Poor, Ash, I blame Emma." Juliana said accusatively.

"Why me!" Emma shouted figuring Juliana must've unveiled the truth.

"Because, you're Emma." Juliana replied.

"Oh, okay!" Emma said sighing a breath of relief.

"My poor baby!" Delia cried. "It's that wormadam Emtei again! That thing is nothing but trouble! It's pretending to be a little girl's father and locking her in a mansion, it's turning beautiful greenery into a crystallized wasteland, it's kidnapping me, and now it's gonna eat my baby!"

"Ugh, there are bigger problems in the world, lady!" Cecelia yelled.

"Like what!" Mrs. Ketchum cried.

"Like having to choose between two of your favorite flavors of cookies!" Cecelia responded.

"…I made those cookies…for all you know they could be poisoned." Delia said angrily. Cecelia started spiting up the cookie.

"Hey, you jerk, you poisoned my wife's cookie!" N scolded.

"She's making fun of the fact that my son might die!" Delia said bursting into tears.

"Oh, boo-hoo! Poor, you, y'know some people have real problems! I have to get up every day and comb out my knotty ponytail each and every day but do I cry, no! So, like, cry me a river, build me a bridge and like get over it!" N said as he flipped his hair.

"The fact that I allow you all to stay here is beyond me!" Delia grumbled.

"What're you gonna do?" Juliana asked Charlie.

"What do you think?" Charlie replied irritably.

"I hope I'm thinking correctly, for Ash's sake…You know who the girl is, don't you? I can tell by the look on your face." Juliana said.

"What difference does that make?" Charlie said.

"Um, it's the woman who's stealing your husband away?" Juliana said stating the obvious.

"Yeah, I do know…" Charlie said with a distant shimmer in her eyes.

"It'll be hard, huh?" Juliana asked.

"Yeah…" she replied despondently.

"You're doing the right thing, kid." Juliana said, patting Charlie on the back.

"Thanks." Charlie replied and everyone went to sleep for the night except for Charlie and Delia who were up all night worrying. The morning came and everyone was getting dressed to go to the arena along with over a thousand others who were coming for the show, y'know to get out of the house. Cecelia and Juliana were eating cereal at the kitchen table while watching TV when all of a sudden a commercial for the "show" in the arena came on.

"Come one, come all, to the greatest show in earth! It's a life-or-death situation weighed on the shoulders of one. This individual's choice will determine whether or not this person is devoured by a fierce beast or married off to a lovely lady! So, either way you're in for a jolly good show, a wedding or a man-slaughter! So, bring the family and head on down to the Pallet Arena, admission tickets available at arrival!" The commercial advertised.

"That's despicable!" Juliana groaned as the news story in the background was talking about a how a girl named Emily from Japan's dog, Clifford, grew 10X the normal size of that breed…and it was red. All of this, scientists are led to believe was caused by the earthquake and the power plant's malfunctioning which lead to radiation, causing Clifford's defect.

"I can't go!" Delia cried.

"Get off your lazy butt, this show is going to be fantastic!" Shea exclaimed.

"What! How could it be fantastic to watch my son be mauled by an Entei!" she cried.

"Cuz it's good ol' fashion family entertainment!" Shea said.

"Then why'd you outlaw it?" Juliana asked.

"…Because, I felt like it." Shea said. They all got up and headed over to the arena with Charlie alongside Team Rocket in the balcony and the others in reserved seats.

"Well, it was thoughtful of them to reserve seats for us!" Shea exclaimed.

"…I'm beginning to hate you." Delia mumbled.

"I love you too!" Shea exclaimed. Charlie gritted her teeth and clenched her fists as a tear slid off her cheek.

"I have to do what I have to do." Charlie said as Ash was pulled out to the arena on shackles, like an animal. "I really wanna kill you three right now!"

"Yeah, we get that a lot!" Meowth said apathetically. Ash stared desperately at Charlie awaiting some kind of sign that showed which door would save his life. Charlie motioned to the right as she looked away. Ash trusted Charlie and pointed to the right door. The girl was Misty she was the one Ash would have to marry, Charlie hated the thought. She hated Misty, she always thought Ash secretly liked her more than she. Misty was the woman Ash would have to marry, if he had selected the _**left **_door…

* * *

_**OMG cliffhanger, I'm tempted to write more but I liked the way the chapter ended there.**_

_**Oh, well I'll update tomorrow!**_

_**REVIEW!**_

_**Oh, and go to my bio to find a link to pictures of all of you guys in the story or you can type in PokemonLotty deviant art on google and you should be able to find it. I would put it here but fanfiction won't let me, so tel we what you think of the pictures! OR try this type all this stuff in the URL bar.**_

_** type in: http:/ then type: pokemonlotty then after that: .deviantart then .com then type: /#/d3ftc8k **_

_**I know that's a pain but the stupid site won't let me post links. SO yeah!**_


	12. The Black Plague

As the right was slowly opened Ash's heart was pounding. Charlie and Delia flinched and shut their eyes, afraid of what they might be about to see, they braced themselves.

"Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Entei! Entei!" Betty chanted morbidly as she received frightened looks. Two men pulled open the door and a ferocious Entei came bursting out of the door, raging for the kill and its prey, Ash.

"Charlie! What the-! Wormadam you!" Ash screamed as he began sprinting around for his life.

"I'm sorry!" Charlie cried off the balcony.

"Ash, run!" Delia cried.

"Run where, I'm in an enclosed, circular arena!" Ash cried as he continues to be chased in circles.

"Get 'em, Entei! Go for the kill!" Betty shouted.

"Survival of the fittest!" Juliana cried.

"Aw, I gotta remove the ban on these shows! TV stinks nowadays, this here, is top-notch entertainment! Run, Ashy boy, run!" Shea chatted.

"Look, Entei, I'm sorry I said you were just an illusion, but that was like thirty years ago, let's let bygones be bygones, how's that sound?" Ash suggested timidly.

"If that is what you wish." Entei replied.

"…Really?" Ash said sighing a breath of relief.

"Nah, I just had to say that `cause it's my catchphrase! You are momma! See, you're not momma, I just said that because it's quotable! Now, Entei is hungry!" Entei said as it continued chasing Ash around.

"Charlie, I hate you!" Ash cried. "I can't believe you're trying to get me killed!"

"…Well, Misty can't have you now!" Charlie yelled down as she stuck her tongue out.

"Well, now neither can you!" Ash cried.

"Yeah, but, there's always Gary." Charlie said.

"You're insane!" Ash cried. "Help me!"

"…Guys, I have a confession to make." Emma stated in the stands.

"Can't it wait! I kind of have to watch to make sure my son isn't devoured!" Delia rebutted sarcastically.

"I made Ash sign a contract with Kyuebey! It's all my fault, I'm sorry!" Emma cried. "and then Peter was all…twelve…"

"Are you tryin' to say somethin'! `Cause if ya are, just spit it out!" N yelled. "Age is not an object to love!"

"…Yes, YES IT IS!" Emma shouted.

"So, you're telling me, it's all your fault that my son is going to die!" Delia screamed.

"Well, not _all_ my fault…" Emma said, stuttering.

"I'll kill her for you!" Betty volunteered.

"Betty!" Emma cried. "Traitor, you've betrayed me!"

"…You're gonna upset my stomach, can you go kill her over there…" Cecelia asked.

"You say that as you sit in the stands to watch a man-slaughter…" Shea stated.

"You do have a point." Cecelia admitted.

"Ugh, this screaming is incessant!" Juliana cried out in annoyance.

"What do I do!" Ash wailed as Entei kept chasing him. "I want my mommy!"

"I'm not getting in the arena!" Delia cried.

"Mom!" Ash whined. "Doesn't anyone love me?"

"Pikachu did!" Charlie shouted.

"Yeah, Pikachu did, didn't he…until he um, I don't know was devoured by that…hmm, who was she…oh YEAH THE WOMAN WHO VOWED TO LOVE ME!" Ash yelled as he ran.

"Rules are made to be broken…" Charlie said as she waved him off. Just then, a woman came rushing down from the stands.

"Will you save me!" Ash cried desperately at the somewhat familiar looking woman.

"I'll try, Ash," She said.

"How do you know my name?" Ash asked.

"Um…famous Pokémon Master…but, I do know you from somewhere else, I'm Molly Hale, you've probably forgotten." Molly explained.

"No…I will _never_ forget…about the Entei…" Ash quivered.

"Come 'ere, Entei! Aw, come on, who's a good fire breathing doggie, you are, yes you are!" Molly cooed as she pet the man-eating beast.

"I'm outta here, smell ya later!" Ash yelled as he made a break for the stands.

"That's my catchphrase, Ketchum!" Gary yelled angrily from the stands. Ash was now sitting in the chairs breathing heavily out of exasperation.

"Ash, are you okay?" Delia cried.

"Like you care?" Ash groaned.

"I do!" Delia sniffled.

"You wouldn't even save me! I bet you'd save Mr. Mime…" Ash grumbled.

"…you too…honey…" Delia mumbled.

"Well, the good thing is that we're all safe and sound, right!" Emma exclaimed. "Okay great let's go home,"

"Not so fast, Emma!" Shea said grabbing Emma by the sleeve before she could flee. When all of a sudden Misty burst down the door she was behind and Entei began howling at her.

"Get her, Entei!" Misty screamed in command.

"Get who?" Entei asked.

"Charlie Brizzle Ketchum, the woman who stole my man," Misty grunted.

"What!" Ash exclaimed in shock as everyone turned to him and said "duh".

"…Are you blind?" Delia asked, "That girl's loved you since day one,"

"Really? Misty?" Ash said while scratching his head as everyone stared at him like he was kidding.

"Entei, do away with Misty," Charlie ordered as Entei followed its commands and darted towards the now horrified looking gym leader.

"Wormadam it, I'm so dead!" Misty cried, "Come on, Charlie, good times, back in the day when you were seven, 'member?" Misty pleaded as Charlie snapped her fingers, signaling Entei to devour her. Just then, a flying sky bison came swooping over the stadium with a bald monk, a tribal woman, a man with a scar and a woman with black hair and a last name that matched her hair. The tribal woman extended her hand and hoisted Misty up onto the sky-buffalo, which saved her life.

"Zuko!" Shea cried as she waved frantically to her fiancée.

"What the Emma is going on?" Betty yelled, "What the heck is that dinosaur thing?"

"It's appa!" Shea explained happily, "That's my fiancée!"

"Ohhhhhhhh," said Cecelia.

"Who's the chick and the bald guy?" asked Emma.

"Katara and her husband Aang," Shea answered.

"Who's the other lady?" asked Cecelia.

"Beats me, but, does anyone know what time it is, the hub is playing Hoot at four," Emma asked.

"I know what time it is….it's 3:04, 3:04, gotta get down at 3:04 everybody's looking forward to five past three! An hour ago it was 2:04, 2:04, right now it is 3:04, 3:04, we, we, we so excited, we so excited, we gonna have a ball this sixty seconds! The next minute is 3:05, and 3:06 comes afterwaaaaaaaaaaaaaardsss, I don't want this moment to endddddddd!" the woman with black hair sang as people went running out of the stadium with their ears gushing blood as people lied in agnozing pain on the ground screaming for help.

Then Ash muttered,"I'd know that piercing sound anywhere….that's Rebbecca, Rebecca Black…."

* * *

Okay so when I found my "flashlight" (flash drive) I opened up to chapter eleven, the file I had been working on, and half the story was gone! WTH! SO I got pissed and didn't feel like rewriting the rest at the moment and since it's been so long I decided to post it half done and post the other half along and combine it into chapter 12. Okay sound good? If not...TOO BAD!


	13. A Blast From the Past

"Do you guys like my newest single, 3:04?" Rebecca asked as she winked.

"No, no one on earth does, no one's ever liked any ear piercing piece of horrendous garbage that you and ARK records have ever produced. Your music career was over before it even started, you have never been successful and never will be," Charlie stated. Entei resumed howling in the arena, starving to feast on someone. Charlie left the beast howling as she went down a spiral staircase from the pavilion and walked over to where her husband and friends were conversing and Appa and the others were hovering overhead.

"Charlie, you betrayed me!" Ash cried.

"I had to!" Charlie cried.

"You had to, had to kill him, even though I love him," Misty cried.

"Well, I love him, too!" Charlie rebuked.

"Yes, the love is so blatant…" Shea mumbled sarcastically.

"Misty…you love me?" Ash asked, dumbfounded.

"…You're stupid." Misty stated and Ash scowled.

"So I guess I'm like in this love triangle thing!" Ash exclaimed.

"Too bad, we're married, right, Ash!" Charlie said as she grabbed her husband's hand and pulled him over possessively.

"Well…yeah…" Ash said as he held up his hand with the ring on his finger.

"I don't wanna see that," Misty said bitterly as she stuck her nose to them.

"Move on, Misty!" Charlie yelled.

"I can't!" Misty cried.

"It was a dumb childhood crush, grow up!" Charlie groaned.

"Yeah, I had a crush on you too, Misty, but that was then, and this is now," Ash admitted.

"You did?" Misty said tearfully and Charlie glowered in envy at her.

"You _did_?" Charlie gritted through her teeth as she glared at her husband.

"Don't be redundant, Charlie," Shannon said as she furrowed her brow and looked at her teasingly, though Charlie wasn't taking it as a joke.

"Well, yeah…I mean Misty was pretty awesome, Cerulean gym leader, gorgeous, smart, talented-" Ash began and Misty blushed and Charlie started strangling him.

"What, and I'm not!" Charlie pouted as she ringed his neck and Ash nodded frantically.

"You are, you are, you're all that and more, plus that quadrupled!" Ash panted out as he gasped for air and Charlie finally released his neck.

"Why did you never go for me, Ash?" Misty asked as her eyes glistened with tears, shaking.

"…I did, but then I met Charlie and I fell in love with her," Ash said.

"Yeah, so get lost, Misty!" Charlie said as she stuck her tongue out to her, "Plus I'm rich, you can't compete with that!"

"Whatever…I might as well feed myself to Entei…" Misty mumbled.

"Okay, bye-bye!" Charlie said happily.

"Do it, do it, I came here to see _someone_ get mauled!" Betty insisted.

"If someone doesn't die a brutal and explicitly gruesome death I'm gonna be disappointed and yeah…" Cecelia agreed.

"Fine…" Misty mumbled as she walked down into the arena and stood in front of Entei, with a half smudged frown that was forcefully fought away as tears riveted off her cheeks. Misty closed her eyes tight to the unbearable sight, "You want me, then come and get me!" Misty cried as Entei smiled.

"Okay, if that is what you wish… Entei, hungry!" Entei exclaimed as it darted towards her.

"Bad dog!" Molly cried, ordering the Pokémon to desist.

"Misty, no!" Ash cried as he darted to the arena and pushed her out from harm's way as Entei crashed into the stadium wall and got its head wedged between the pillars and plastered walls.

"Ash, you little, turd!" Charlie yelled as she stomped her foot down in protest like a child in a snitty tantrum. Ash laid on the ground with his arm over Misty in a ducked position as the smoke cleared and they were left in a coughing fit.

"What in the name of God were you thinking, suicidal…over a _little turd_ like me?" Ash screamed as he quoted his wife.

"…Ash, I love you!" Misty said as her head fell into her arm that was rested on the ground.

"Well…love me enough to let me go!" Ash demanded, "Misty, you're my best friend, I can't have you like this, in ways I love you too, just not the way you want me too, not anymore, I love, Charlie, that's why I married her, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to get over it. Please, Misty," Ash said, "Don't be like this, I'm not worth your life,"

"You're wormadamn straight you're not!" Charlie yelled from the seating and Ash made a T_T face. Misty stood up and brushed the dirt off her skirt and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I guess…I guess so…" Misty agreed as she looked away and Ash smiled softly.

"GO HOME, MISTY!" Charlie yelled, "WHEN MY HUSBAND SAYS HE LOVES YOU, YOU BETTER GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE BEFORE A KNIFE FLIES IN YOUR BACK!"

"Oooooo, knives!" Betty exclaimed as she grew excited and jumped up and down, clapping in anticipation.

"I-I better go…Bye, Ash," Misty said glumly.

"Bye, Myst," Ash said, a little sadly.

"NOW YOU HAVE A PET NAME FOR HER? AND I THOUGHT EMMA WAS THE MAN STEALER?" Charlie yelled.

"What? You guys are sooo mean!" Emma whined. Misty sighed and raised her arm out to be pulled up by Katara onto Appa with Aang, Zuko and Rebecca Black. Before Misty grabbed Katara's arm that was extended out to pull her aboard Appa, Ash gave her a reassuring nod, eyes trembling, and Misty exchanged the look, that proved their bond hadn't faded through the years, even if Ash had fallen for someone else, they were still best friends. Misty grabbed Katara's hand and was lifted aboard the flying bison…buffalo…thingamajig. Entei was still fidgeting restively with its head stuck between two pillars and everyone ignored it except Molly who was scolding it and soothingly petting it at the same time.

"We gotta get back to the water tribe, you wanna come, Misty?" Katara asked and Misty sighed and agreed reluctantly.

"I'm staying here, with Shea, okay guys?" Zuko stated and his friends nodded as they bid the gaang (intentional spelling error as Avatar pun) farewell and Appa flew off. Zuko walked up to his fiancée, Shea and knelt in front of her.

"What is that weirdo with the tattoo on his face doing?" Cecelia whispered to Betty and she shrugged but, Shea overheard.

"Yeah, _I'm_ the one with the weirdo as my guy…and it's a scar, not a tattoo," Shea grumbled back.

"Are you suggesting that I am a weirdo….woah, look at her she's hot!" N cried.

"Hey!" Cecelia pouted enviously, "….wait…O_o…her…she's about nine?"

"Yeah, but she's working those skinny jeans, sha-bam!" N exclaimed, "Talk about hot, look at those legs, she's smokin'!"

"You have some issues, dude," Juliana stated.

"Are you kidding look at the way she's playing that Tomagotchi, that's smexy," N said as he licked his finger then pressed his thigh and made a hissing sound to represent steaming.

"I think that's the most disturbing thing I have ever seen in my entire life…and I went to school with Emma…for _nine_ years," Betty stated. Zuko kissed the front of Shea's hand before arising from his kneeling position. Delia, Charlie and Ash were down arguing in another row of seats, Molly was petting Entei to calm it down, and Shea, Juliana, Cecelia, N, Emma, and Betty as they spoke to Zuko.

"So, how did you two meet?" Emma asked as she batted her eyelids with curiosity.

"Well…" Zuko began.

"It all started on a foggy morning in Philadelphia, and no it is in fact not always sunny in Philadelphia despite television's lies but, I digress. Anyhow, I was at an important presidential meeting to discuss foreign policies with the fire nation-" Shea started to explain but, was interrupted by her fiancée.

"You wanted a real Philly cheesestake and pretzel, it wasn't a presidential meeting, you liar," Zuko stated, smirking.

"Same difference…" Shea mumbled, "Anyway, I was in line to get a cheese stake from Pat's because, they clearly have the superior cheese stake,"

"Oh, here we go again with the superior cheese-stake nonsense…" Zuko grumbled.

"Everyone who's anyone knows that Pat's is better than Gino's…" Shea declared, "Anyway, Zuko pulls me outta line and says, and I quote: Why go to that dump when you can eat at Gino's across the street. I begged to differ, and apparently, according to Zuko, having a different opinion on a food's taste quality is unacceptable," Shea said rolling her eyes.

"Skip to the fangirling part!" Zuko exclaimed and Shea blushed.

"Fine…" She grumbled, "So, when I saw him pull me outta line I was like OMG, you're Zuko, the fire lord who's dating Mai!"

"And I said was, dating, was dating Mai," Zuko added, "Then I took her over to the clearly better Gino's and treated her to a cheese stake and a Pepsi…but, no, Pepsi wasn't good enough!"

"I never said that, I just have a Coke preference!" Shea demanded.

"No you were adamant on it!" Zuko yelled.

"No, you were adamant against it, Coca-cola was the original, nothing beats the original!" Shea insisted and Zuko rolled his eyes.

"Just cut to the chase…" Zuko snarled.

"We fell in love and on our way to live happily ever after, the end," Shea said as she crossed her arms stubbornly, turning in the opposing direction, "*Cough* Coke and Pat's FTW *cough*" Shea said subtly.

"You're ridiculous, Pepsi and Gino's is better, why can't we just agree to disagree?" Zuko testified.

"Fine," Shea stated loathingly. Meanwhile, as Shea and Zuko argued inconsequentially and the others watched, Charlie and Ash were having a more intense, heated argument as Delia tried to intervene, sticking her two cents in.

"I did not mean that I loved Misty the way I love you, I didn't mean romantically, Charlie, why can't you get that through your head?" Ash yelled.

"Well, I hate hearing those words being told to anyone but, me, especially _her_," Charlie grunted.

"Oh, well, does this bother you?" Ash said as he turned to his mother, "Hey mom, guess what? I love you, I love you, I love you, Mom, and I _love_ you!" Ash yelled in spite.

"I love you too, sweetheart! But, Ash Ketchum, that's very immature," Delia said as she placed her hands on her hips.

"That's your _mom_, you know that's different, Misty is a woman that has been competing with me for your affection since the get-go!" Charlie shouted.

"Charlie, no it's not that different, they're just three simple words?" Ash demanded.

"So what you're saying is that when you tell me that it doesn't mean anything?" Charlie said.

"No!" Ash yelled. Suddenly, Kyuebey, the incubator came into the scene.

"This isn't as I planned!" Kyuebey said in a harsh whisper.

"What did you plan? To kill me?" Ash shouted accusatively.

"Yeah, you dumb stuffed animal, what's your deal?" Betty yelled.

"You made Peter a child, that's cheating!" Emma fretted.

"I simply tweaked your words slightly," Kyuebey replied.

"Kyuebey…that sounds like a radio name for a disk jockey…y'know like, yo, this QB and I'm gonna be your DJ for tonight so tune in for QB the DJ every Friday night from seven to midnight!" Shea said.

"Yeah…it kinda does!" Emma exclaimed.

"That's not the key issue here!" Ash yelled.

"Take back my wish and put my soul back or Juliana will kill you…permanently, she's a witch she knows how!" Emma demanded.

"FINE!" Kyuebey said reluctantly as he reversed the wishes and they were left in the arena, "There, you are no longer magical girls…or guys."

"I hate you," Betty stated.

"Cool," Kyuebey replied.

"Drop dead," Betty said.

"You," Kyuebey replied.

"Hey, Molly, is that thing hungry?" Betty shouted to Molly.

"Yeah, he's starved!" Molly replied.

"I hope it likes fluffy demons!" Betty said as she picked up the levitating Kyuebey by the ear and swirled it around above her head like a lasso before chucking it across the stadium to Entei. Kyuebey squealed in pain and Entei roared in delight. Entei ferociously clawed down on the small rodents body as everyone jumped up in down in delight at the sight. Entei sunk its teeth into the little…thing as it tore at it ligament by ligament as blood spilled out from the thing's tiny body and its guts drooped out, making it a gory sight.

"EWWWWWWWWW! That's icky!" Emma whined.

"Oh, Vicky, she so, so icky just the thought of bein' around her makes me so, so sicky!" Shea sang.

"I never knew what they were exactly saying in the Timmy Turner theme song," Juliana added.

"It's called The Fairly OddParents, f/y/i," Emma said as Betty cheered on the mauling.

"Let me sing it for ya~" N said.

"Good, God…" Cecelia mumbled as she hid her face in shame.

"(Up-tempo swing music playing)

Timmy is an average kid

that no one understands

Mom and Dad and Vicky

always giving him commands

Vicky:

Bed Twerp!

Doom and gloom

up in his room

Is broken instantly

By his magic little fish

who grant his every wish

'Cause in reality...

... They are his oddparents

Fairly Oddparents

Wanda:

Wands and wings

Cosmo:

Floaty crowny things

Oddparents

Fairly Oddparents

Really mod, pea pod,

buff bod, hot rod

Timmy:

Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,

giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake

Oddparents

Fairly Oddparents

It flips your lid when you're

the kid with Fairly Oddparents

Vicky: Yeah right

(Bop!)" N sang as everyone stared at him speechlessly.

"Y'know…my childhood makes more sense now," Shea stated and Zuko nodded in agreement.

"Your guy can sing, Cecelia!" Emma commented.

"EW!" Cecelia said.

"What?" Emma asked in confusion.

"The only reason the creeper watched the show was because…because of the…children…I always hated children now I _despise_ them," Cecelia shuttered.

"All the children on that show was such a delight, I loved to watch them, the way they moved, especially Elmer's boil…I liked the way it jiggled when you touched it~" N said as he snickered perversely.

"Charles!" Shea exclaimed.

"NO!" Betty yelled as Entei finished munching on QB's bones.

"It was three in the morning ok?" Shea exclaimed.

"Wait…since Kyuebey reverted the wish...t-that means I still have a chance with Peter!" Emma exclaimed joyously as she grabbed Betty by the hands and swirled around joyously.

"That was our entire mission, to help Emma….why don't we head back to Ash's place and devise a plan." Juliana suggested.

"Sounds good, let's actually do what we came here for!" Emma exclaimed.

"Oh…my honeymoon, huh~huh?" N said as he tweaked up his eye brows creepily to Cecelia as she slapped his face.

"Pervert…" Cecelia mumbled to him.

"That's why you came here…we came to think of a plan, a plan to help Emma correct the biggest mistake of her entire life, rejecting Peter," Juliana explained.

"Ok, no need to rub it in!" Emma said defensively.

"Oh, are we heading home, I'll bake cookies!" Delia exclaimed as they all darted ahead, making their way back to Ash's abode in Pallet. Ash and Charlie glared at one another except Ash's eyes pleaded forgiveness without an apology spoken but, Charlie's read revenge and bitterness. Charlie stuck her nose to him and trotted up with the others, leaving Ash to trudge behind. Everyone gathered in Ash's living room, crowding over the coffee table, feasting their eyes on Juliana's well sketched out plan. The only one not overlooking was the strategy was Ash and his mother who were in the kitchen baking cookies.

"What a loser, he's baking cookies with his mommy, what a nerd," Charlie snickered.

"You married him, there's a lose bolt in your head too!" Cecelia said.

"T_T shut up..." Charlie sniveled. Ash went to take the cookies out of the oven, he idiotically forgot to put on an oven mitt and reached into the burning hot oven to grab the cookie tray with no protection.

"Ouch! God, wormadam it!" Ash screamed as he grabbed his throbbing hand.

"My Ash!" Delia cried as she rushed to her son to see what was wrong. Then out of the blue, Shea bursted into inane laughter and another voice could be heard laughing as well. Ash was running his burning hand under the kitchen sink with ice cold water as he bit his lip from the pain.

"You, moron, what the heck? What kind of retard doesn't wear an _**oven**_ mitt when reaching into an _**oven**_?" Charlie yelled as she rushed into the kitchen to look at her husband's injured hand.

"The same kind of moron who marries an idiot who doesn't remember an oven mitt even though they have a Harvard doctrine," Emma teased.

"Go live in your lonely cardboard box, Emma!" Charlie rebutted.

"You're soooo mean!" Emma whined back. Shea was still lying on the floor laughing inanely as everyone stared at her, wondering who was the other voice laughing.

"…Should I call the ambulance or paramedics or something?" Zuko said as he stared at his fiancée, dying on the carpet. The other sound of laughter was Miguel who flopped down onto the floor out of the bathroom, laughing slightly harder than Shea(if that was humanly possible).

"Miguel?" Charlie said questionably.

"Hey, sis! I just zapped myself here from the portal to my kingdom!" Miguel stated.

"Ah, the Thomas the tank engine toy-box…I see…it teleported you here…fascinating…" Charlie said doubtfully in sarcasm as she rolled her eyes.

"So, what `cha got there, a coloring book!" Miguel exclaimed.

"No, ):" Emma said, sounding slightly disappointed.

"We formulated a stratagem to win Emma her man back…where's your family?" Juliana said.

"They didn't wanna come, they're in Zobotron…so what's this plan exactly?" Miguel asked curiously as Ash walked over to hear the plan with a bandage wrapped around his throbbing hand along with Charlie and Delia.

"Well, the plan is simple and complex simultaneously…You see, I am going to cast a spell that takes us back to the year 2002," Juliana began to explain her ingenious plan.

"Ew, 2002, we were in Kindergarten…wow, the turn of the 21st century…" Shea said.

"But…what do we do once we get there, what's the purpose of going there?" asked Cecelia.

"We have to go back to the beginning of our time at St. Anna's in order for the spell to work efficiently and Emma to fix her mistake, if we mess up, we're in big trouble…" Juliana said.

"Like what kind of trouble?" Betty quivered.

"We'll…well, we'll essentially disintegrate into microscopic pieces and die, that's why it's vital that we time this perfectly and get through each grade year on the exact timing and witness key events in a very specific order," Juliana explained, "We have to get through each grade and find the portal to the next year while still witnessing the key events until the exact day Emma rejected Pan before the spell breaks from its hold on the time-space continuum," Juliana explained.

"That's the most frightening task that's ever been placed before me…and I've been through Dunce!" Charlie exclaimed which got light smiles in response.

"…This mission is dangerous and potentially fatal if not executed exactly perfect which is next to impossible, I can't promise that we'll all make it…but, in order for us to complete the tasks essential to the plan I need you all…is this a risk you're willing to take in order to help Emma?" Juliana asked, "Because…I am," Juliana said as she smiled smugly and placed her hand out in front of her. Emma glanced around, she was frightened but, knew the mission was on her behalf and she loved Peter more than life itself so she reached her hand out over Juliana's.

"I'm in too," Emma said, exchanging the same smug smile.

"You wormadam better be in this whole stupid mission is for you, kid!" Charlie said with a wink as she hesitantly reached her hand into the circle of hands and reciprocated the same smug grin Emma and Juliana were wearing.

"If Charlie's in, I have to protect her…I'm in!" Ash said throwing his hand in and adopting the signature smug smile.

"Who's gonna protect your sorry butt from me, Ketchum?" Charlie teased.

"Well, maybe I'll have the fun of killing Kaylee all over again," Betty said as she reached out to stick her hand in the group circle but she accidently dropped a hand grenade and blushed and then quickly shoved it back into her pocket, "I'm in, I'm no Emma," Betty joked, sticking her hand in, implementing the contagious smile.

"I guess it's my job to insure my citizens safety…so I guess I'm in to watch over you dunderheads!" Shea said, sticking her hand in and that smug smile crept upon her lips.

"Well, I can't have you going in there alone, US president or not!" Zuko said throwing his hand into the circle.

"I'm good…" Cecelia said as she tried to tiptoe away.

"Cecelia, come on!" Everybody moaned.

"Don't you want to see our school years all over again, it'll be fun, come on," Charlie cajoled.

"You're gonna miss out!" Shea coaxed and Cecelia ceased her walking to the door and then lashed around throwing her hand into the circle.

"I guess I can't miss an adventure, now can I?" Cecelia exclaimed, emulating the others smile.

"School=children…and children=eye candy for N…Okay, N's in!" N said throwing his hand into the circle as well and everyone moaned in annoyance.

"Obviously, I'm in!" Juliana said putting her hand into the group of hands assembled in a circle like a athletic team, about to cheer before a game. They all glanced around at one another, able to read their minds, though thirty years had gone by, they all were just as close as ever, none of them had changed at all, it was all quite funny. They all knew what to do.

"One-two-three-" Juliana started what they knew how to finish.

"For Emma!" Miguel chanted in the "for Narnia" voice as everyone stared at the outsider who wasn't accompanying them on their mission and who had nearly killed the mood.

"St. Anna's Class of 2011!" They all chanted as they flew their hands up.

"Y'know….speaking of Narnia, that reminds of the summer of our eighth grade year…" Shea stated, "Emma was in some kind of play….and Charlie and Betty were being creepy…"

"Surprise, surprise!" Juliana said sarcastically.

"Oh, this…" Emma grumbled and Charlie and Betty stared at each other with a smile so bright it could've made you go blind, their smiles shined like they'd just won the lottery.

"Aslan loved Edmund!" Charlie stated.

"YES!" Betty cried.

"He so did, love him, Shea, just admit it!" Charlie said.

"Oh, no, not this again…" Shea grumbled.

"Emma, never told the actors our opinion on their relationship!" Betty yelled accusatively.

"Well, Edmund was a jerk-face and I didn't feel like it, so nah," Emma replied.

"The best part was when they were passionately singing to one another about the feelings in their heart and when Aslan yelled at Edmond to look into his eyes!" Charlie giggled.

"And when they hugged!" Betty exclaimed.

"Summer Stage…good times…good times…" Emma said.

"No relationship could ever be as powerful, influential, and loving as Edmond and Aslan…" Betty said in a mockingly profound tone.

"No! What about the toilets~the toilets that were oh-so in love!" Charlie stated and Emma and Shea went into a fit of laughter but, Emma's smile full of giggles faded to a frown of discontent.

"That was around the time of computer fair…the day I left…Peter…" Emma said as her eyes started welling up with tears, bringing on the waterworks.

"Hey, Emmalyn, we're going back to get him, right?" Juliana said comfortingly as Emma nodded and brushed away her tears with her sleeve.

"Well, mom, I'm heading to the past…I'm gonna actually see what Charlie claims was her flawless childhood where everybody worshiped her," Ash told his mother.

"Be careful…" Delia muttered and Ash nodded.

"I will….just between you and me I think she's on cloud nine with this whole flawless thing," Ash whispered but, Charlie heard, made apparent by her kicking his shin.

"Is there anything we should bring, Juliana?" Cecelia asked.

"No, all the supplies will be there in the past, we don't need to bring anything, it'll only disrupt the time-space continuum," Juliana stated and Cecelia nodded, "Is everyone prepared?" Juliana made an inquisition.

"Yup!" They all exclaimed.

"Alright…now this would be a lot easier if I had achieved ultimate momoness….anyway, I need all of you to hold hands!" Juliana instructed as everyone grabbed each others hands, creating a circle.

"EW, I'm touching…Emma," Betty exclaimed.

"Make new friends but, keep the old one is silver and the other's gold, a circle's round it has no end, that's how long I want to be your friend!" Emma sang.

"Shut up, Emma, I never wanted to be your friend!" Betty yelled and Emma frowned.

"I better be the gold friend!" Charlie yelled.

"Yeah, that song is mean, it's saying one friend is inferior to the other because one is silver and the other is gold which means one has more value because it is gold, which is worth more," Shea said.

"I'm the platinum friend!" Cecelia said sticking her tongue out.

"Well, then I'm a diamond!" Charlie rebutted.

"Can you guys shut up, I'm trying to concentrate, this is a very difficult procedure, only witches and wizards who have acquired the ultimate momoness can perfect this spell so I'll try my best!" Juliana said as everyone silenced themselves as Juliana recited some sort of spell that teleported them through time through a swirling vortex. It was sad how stereotypical traveling through time looked, the Hollywood producers had it down pretty good. They were whisking through time and it felt like being sucked through a vacuum cleaner at 400 mph. They were thrown through various, horrific time eras before the vortex spat them out at a medieval looking era. They all were thumped to the ground pretty roughly.

"I'm pretty sure I'm not this old!" Cecelia grumbled.

"N is…" Betty growled.

"I must've made a slight miscalculation…" Juliana said as she scratched the back of her head.

"Why are there toasters and microwaves jousting at each other?" Emma asked.

"Oh! We must be in the great microwave/toaster war era. The microwaves are rebelling against the toaster to end racism and discrimination in the culinary land. It's sad how equality was not pursued in kitchen appliances back in the day," Charlie exclaimed.

"This makes no sense, first of all electricity was not discovered until the 17th century, therefore making it impossible for microwaves or toasters to even exist and secondly they're inanimate objects?" Ash demanded.

"See, this is what happens without an education, Ash…it's really sad how little you know," Charlie said as she patted him on the back.

"Can you fix this little problem and yeah and even though this is pretty epic and magical you have to make it better albfuevbcacydbvuhyfrsdvf!" Cecelia groaned.

"Alright, alright, I'll fix this…everyone hold hands again!" Juliana ordered as everyone held each others hands once more.

"Ugh, Emma…" Betty moaned, "Emma, remember when we all went bowling in 8th grade?"

"No, not really…" Emma replied, "What the hell that's so random!"

"…Watch your profanities, Emma!" Betty yelled, "and what do you mean you don't remember!"

"I remember, and she promised to post those pictures but never did, I wanted a picture of Steve the toaster and the pictures of me bowling on FaceBook but, no Emma never uploaded them because she's a lazy bum!" Charlie yelled.

"OH! I remember now…oh, whoops…" Emma sulked, "I'd post them now but, I had to sell my camera to buy some food so I wouldn't starve!"

"That's stupid!" Betty yelled.

"Why should I have posted those pics anyway, you guys were so mean on Facebook! You tagged me in EVERYTHING! You even made several groups dedicated to tagging me! You'd incessantly tag me in comments by the hundreds, no exaggeration, and pictures and everything…Charlie even made a video!" Emma ranted, "Do you realize how many e-mails I got?"

"That video was awesome, you're just jealous!" Cecelia yelled.

"Y'know envy isn't the answer to everything!" Emma shouted.

"I remember that…save the children…tag Emma!" Charlie butted in.

"Children!" N said as he grew a creepy, amused smile, "Children turn me on!"

"…You have a problem," Cecelia stated.

"I can't help it if I'm aroused by children!" N cried.

"Why the heck did I marry you?" Cecelia pouted.

"Guys, again, trying to concentrate here!" Juliana said as everyone fell silent. Juliana then inhaled a deep breath and recited the spell once again, fingers crossed that this time they'd be in front of the old St. Anna's building, the not yet renovated St. Anna's building, when the parish hall was the gym and a long rectangular building housed the education of the elementary aged students. How they longed to see that school, the school that they built, the school that built them.

* * *

**_Yeah I got another chapter done! We're finally getting to the actual plot of the story and it only took eleven chapters woot! Okay so yeah review or I'll kill you :D Thanks 4 reading and leave a suggestion if you want an inside joke in the next chapter! OH and I need you guys' help for the Kindergarten chapter! Seriously, leave me a review saying memories from kindergarten so I can include them in the next chapter where we go to kindergarten! Each chapter is gonna tackle a grade, starting at K then to 8 so yeah guys...tell me some kindergarten memories and who's homeroom you were in!_**


	14. Life Is a Bowl Full of Cherries

They all shook their heads back-and-forth from how roughly they were thrashed to the ground from the vortex.

"Wow…I-I can't believe it…" Juliana muttered as she rubbed her eyes in disbelief.

"It's…St. Anna's…before the renovation," Betty stated as they all looked around.

"Look-OMG, it's Mr. Magic Yo-Yo!" Emma squealed.

"Oh….wonderful…_him_…" Charlie groaned as she rubbed her impeccable head from the impact of the fall, fortunately her beauty was not altered by the harsh landing.

"This is where _you _went to school? _This_ is the dump you brag about? Pfft, I'm glad I went on a journey instead, now!" Ash commented and Charlie thudded the back of his head in retaliation.

"Shut up, ignorant, this is before the renovations!" Charlie scolded.

"You're just jealous~" Cecelia sneered and Ash scowled.

"Guys can we go say hi to Mr. Magic Yo-Yo!" Emma asked enthusiastically.

"Ugh…do we _have_ to?" Charlie moaned.

"He's not gonna recognize us…" Betty grumbled.

"And even if he did it would disrupt the balance of our lives and might change something," Juliana explained.

"Like Peter and I's relationship!" Emma exclaimed.

"…No." Juliana mumbled irately.

"So what events do we have to see, Juliana?" Cecelia asked.

"Um…let me check," Juliana said as she pulled a crumpled paper from her pocket and squinted hard to try to decipher the tiny print.

"We've gotta see Charlie make a rude announcement to some assembly lady," Juliana began.

"Oh my God, I remember that!" Charlie exclaimed.

"So, you were stirring up trouble even when you were five, go figure," Ash grumbled.

"So, might as well start there," Juliana stated and everyone nodded in agreement. They crept into the main lobby of the school buildings as all of them were swept with a strong feeling of nostalgia. They saw the familiar lamp overhead that everyone would toss stuff onto, the white statue of St. Anastasia with shackles on her wrists, the very long staircase that led to the first grade and fourth grade halls, the elevator that the fat lard, Mrs. Whale would use cause she was too fat to go up the staircase.

"Wow…feels like yesterday," Cecelia stated.

"Sure does…" Betty said.

"Okay…I think today might be car safety assembly day," Juliana stated as she looked at some odd, mythical, pamphlet.

"I remember this, it was in the old cafeteria, that's where the assembly was…" Charlie said with a smirk.

"Okay, so let's go!" Emma exclaimed as she raced down the small stairs past the kindergarten classrooms to the old cafeteria. Charlie was correct, the assembly was happening right before their eyes.

"Hey, there's little me, next to Meggie!" Charlie exclaimed.

"This is gonna be good," Ash snickered.

"Shhh, I wanna hear!" Cecelia snapped and everyone listened intently.

"Mrs. Snotter, told us we were going to watch a movie, this is boring…" Little Charlie grumbled to the girl seated next to her, Meggie.

"I know, someone should tell that lady who's boss!" Meggie declared as she crossed her arms wearing a pouty face of discontent.

"I will!" Little Charlie proclaimed. She waited for the woman giving the assembly to pass her and she stood up in front of her, the woman ceased, baffled.

"This is boring, I thought we were going to watch a movie!" Young Charlie demanded and everyone looked at her, shocked at how rude and obnoxious the child was, present Charlie was blushing and laughing at her stupid behavior.

"Wow, that was mean…" Charlie stated as they watched, the others were muffling their laughter not to be seen. The woman just looked at young Charlie, utterly shocked, not having a clue what to say just giving a peeved laugh. Mrs. Snotter took little Charlie away and the whole audience watched in shock and then the assembly speaker shook her head in disbelief from being told off by a kindergartener and continued her speech.

"That…was…horrible." Charlie stated, "Wow, I wanna go and slap little kid me right now,"

"It was hilarious, you're such a brat!" Ash giggled and Charlie glared.

"At least I wasn't running around the world alone capturing animals in disturbing little capsules…" Charlie jeered.

"We have to get the little safety bug guy, we have to get key items from each event as well," Juliana explained and the group nodded.

"Oh…this part, _more _humiliation…" Charlie grumbled as she sulked and trudged over to Mrs. Snotter's room past the dinosaur dioramas being displayed throughout the halls to watch young Charlie and the rest of the class receive their little bug stickers.

"Blue table, line up, please!" Mrs. Snotter called and the blue table assembled in line.

"Are you sure you want this, since you didn't enjoy the assembly?" Mrs. Snotter said in a provoked tone and young Charlie just nodded with a frightened look on her face, but she couldn't deny the cute little keepsake.

"DUDE?" Shea yelled.

"What?" Charlie shouted back.

"You took it anyway?" Shea said.

"IT WAS CUTE!" Charlie yelled defensively and the others rolled their eyes.

"Charlie, a word?" Juliana hissed.

"…Ugh, sure thing, Juliana," Charlie said as Juliana whispered into her ear. Meanwhile, Emma was concocting a plan to go pay a visit to Mr. Magic Yo-Yo.

"Guys, this is the perfect opportunity!" Emma whined.

"I don't feel like, it, EMMA," Cecelia said.

"But guyssssss, pleasseeeee, stop being soooo meannnnn," Emma sobbed.

"Emma, unless you want your precious music teacher dead, mysteriously, then I suggest that you don't take me to him," Betty sneered.

"He'd probably just laugh inanely…." Emma mused aloud.

"I wouldn't mind going to see Mr. Magic Yo-Yo myself, we could always make up some sort of lie saying why we were here and who we were," Shea suggested.

"Plus, this way I get to see more children!" N exclaimed.

"…No." Cecelia demanded.

"Well then, I'll be on my merry way over to the classroom adjacent to this one!" N announced.

"Good riddance," Betty exclaimed.

"Now, with Mr. Pedo-Bear gone, want to go see Mr. Magic Yo-Yo?" Emma asked.

"Sure!" Zuko stated, "I'll have to meet this guy."

"I still think you guys' hatred for him was extremely overrated," Shea stated.

"Probably," Emma said, "It wasn't really me though, it was more like, Charlie and Betty….and the rest of the world…"

"No, he was creepy, I'm going to kill him," Betty stated, not amused.

"You can't! It'll disrupt the time-space which-a-m'call-it!" Shea yelled.

"I don't really care," Betty shrugged.

"Hey, that's my line!" Shea huffed.

"Besides, you'll care when you're dead!" Cecelia stated, Betty rolled her eyes at the remark. The made their way around the school and found an old, supply closet with the name "Mr. Magic YoYo's Room" labeled on it.

"…Is this really where he stayed before the reconstruction?" Emma asked in awe.

"I guess…" Shea stated.

"I'm not getting any younger here, that's for sure!" N called from behind.

"Oh God! Where did you come from, I thought you left….with….business…to take care of…" Cecelia muttered.

"It's al completed now! Don't be shy, come on, Emma, say hello!" N said as he scooped up a small child in his arms, "Isn't she precious?" All of their eyes widened and time seemed to stand very still suddenly, whether it was from some sort of disturbance in time Charlie, Ash and Juliana just caused or because of the little fact N had kidnapped five-year-old Emma, they did not know.

Meanwhile whilst the others searched for Mr. Magic Yo-Yo, Juliana and Charlie were looking frantically for clues to the next event to be witnessed. They were scrutinizing the room, digging through WOW books and all.

"I can't find a single, solitary thing on this clue!" Charlie yelled in frustration.

"Charlie, where did you get this bulbasaur eraser?" Ash said enthusiastically.

"I don't remember? It was 25 years ago! I only remember chucking it at Josh's head in 6th grade…" Charlie said as an appeased grin crept upon her face, "In retrospect, I should've thrown an eraser of lesser value at him…Mrs. Car…."

"Keep your eyes on the ball, guys!" Juliana grumbled.

"Why'd you pick us to help you look?" Charlie complained.

"I thought you'd focus best," Juliana groaned, she was coming to regret the assumption.

"Well that was an idiotic presumption…." Charlie mustered beneath her breath. Juliana relinquished a sigh, this was going to be a rather vexing mission.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ME?" Emma cried.

"Just between you and I, I think we're going too fast, but not Emma here, she likes to jump straight on in the relationship!" N said as he gave Emma an Eskimo kiss.

"…AND WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS RELATIONSHIP?" Emma said as Zuko handed her a paper bag and she began hyperventilating.

"Oh, we're going out," N stated bluntly.

"Excuse me?" Cecelia said as she placed her hands on her hips, "You know what?"

"…Aw, poop….shouldn't have said that around the wife…" N pondered aloud, "Look, babe, I'm sorry, but this one was a ten, I couldn't resist, but you know, I think you're the one who's really from Tennessee."

"What the hell? No, I'm from Pennsylvania, don't you know that at least?" Cecelia yelled.

"But you're the only ten I see," N said with a seductive grin as he glanced upon child Emma.

"This is getting disturbing way fast," Emma cried.

"You're the moronic kindergartener dating a seventy-year-old pedophile," Betty mumbled.

"…Hey…guys….let's say hi to Mr. Magic Yo-Yo now, eh?" Shea suggested.

"I'll knock, they won't be silencing any time soon," Zuko sighed as he tapped on the door over the shouting and sobbing coming from their friends.

"GUYS!" Ceceila said and they all desisted their quarreling instantaneously, "they're knocking for Mr. Magic Yo-Yo now!" They all then went silent and Zuko continued knocking.

"Knock-knock?" The voice cooed.

"T_T;; …Who's there?" Zuko said, the voice striking him eerily familiar.

"YOUR HONOR!" The voice shouted as the door was kicked down.

"Holy #$#%" Zuko shouted.

"Muffin cakes and gremlins stewed in a God forsaken honey pot, who are you?" Emma gasped, clutching her heart.

"Azula!" Zuko shouted, "Who released you from the funny farm?"

"The one where life is beautiful all the time and I was happy to see the nice young men who came to take me away?" Azula asked.

"…Yeah, that one," Zuko affirmed.

"Well, maybe I'll answer that if you answered my adorable little knock-knock joke, Zuzu," Azula stated.

"IT WASN'T EVEN FUNNY!" Zuko yelled.

"What is even going on?" Betty cried.

"….What is this…who are you…?" Cecelia inquired.

"I'm Azula, why didn't my brother just palpably explicate this to you? Are you that dense that you cannot retain simple information deployed to you?" Azula chided.

"Okay, _Azula_, who are you exactly?" Emma asked, irked by the woman's play of semantics.

"Rightful heir to the Fire Nation throne," Azula said bitterly while glaring at Shea's fiancée.

"Alright, Azula, enough games, what do you want?" Zuko demanded.

"Well, brother, I found my knock-knock joke utterly hysterical, so put that in your pipe and smoke it," Azula grinned.

"…Has she met Charlie…by any chance?" Shea whispered to Emma.

"…No…why?" Emma asked.

"…Oh…no reason..." Shea replied, referring to the fact of the odd expression used, it sound disturbingly Charlie-esque.

"The only thing I'm going to _smoke_ is your _face_!" Zuko shouted.

"Kind of like how father smoked yours, I presume? I always knew you wish we were twins, brother, but doesn't that seem a bit eccentric?" Azula smiled.

"Ouch. Burn." N stated.

"Yeah, probably," Cecelia stated.

"Heheheh, I like this Azula chick, hehehehh," Betty giggled.

"Betty! She's my evil-soon-to-be-sister-in-law!" Shea snapped.

"Hey, she seems pretty cool to me," Betty said defensively.

"GAHHH, Azula, that's it, I'm going to kill you!" Zuko shouted.

"Yes, killing!" Betty glowed.

"Sort of like how dad was going to at a drop of hat because of grandfather's will?" Azula taunted.

"THAT'S IT, GET OUT, NEVER COME BACK!" Zuko shouted, he was completely furious.

"Never come back, you say?" Azula smirked as she placed her polished fingers over her chin as if in deep thought, "Just like how you and mother were supposed to never come back when father banished the two of you treacherous fiends?" Just then Zuko attacked.

"Well this is pathetic," Betty yawned as Shea walked over to them, explaining who exactly Azula was.

"Yeah, it is, every time we'd go to the insane asylum this would happen, she just tantalizes him with stuff and they argue like five-year-old siblings," Shea said as blasts of fire were heard in the background.

"FIVE-YEAR-OLDS YOU SAY?" N's face lit up like a Christmas tree with an overcharged circuit of 700 kilowatts.

"What about me!" Little Emma sobbed, feeling neglected, and Emma vomited into paper bag.

"What the hell she's doing here, I don't know, we'll find out, the girl's nothing short of a demented genius," Shea said.

"Speaking of defects and geniuses, where's Charlie and Juliana?" Betty asked.

"Who knows?" Cecelia shrugged as she strangled N and young Emma watched in horror.

"I'm telling on you! Hurting people's not niceeeeeee," Young Emma whined.

"Well, now we can see where that habit developed," Betty mumbled to present-time Emma and she grimaced.

"What are you doing here, Azula?" Zuko demanded as he panted from the useless fighting.

"I've got a prisoner in that closet room there who may be lacking sufficient oxygen at the moment, you may want to check on him," Azula grinned.

"Liar!" Zuko darted.

"This time, no, actually," Azula said calmly.

"Why are you here?" Zuko insisted more fiercely this time.

"I'm the leader of an elite group called the A.D.S.S.O. We are an agile team abundant in brawn and brain and could take you and your ragtag team of morons out before you could count to three, if you any of these imbeciles could make it that far," She snickered while nonchalantly inspecting her groomed nails.

"I'm smarter than you…" Charlie stated as Ash and Juliana trudged behind; Ash looked strained and Juliana looked exhausted to say the least.

"Talk is cheap, why don't you put your _fire_ where your _mouth_ is!" Azula said as she shot a ball of fire towards Charlie, but Zuko deflected it just in time.

"Enough stalling, what is the ADSSO?" Zuko snapped.

"Zuko, honey…I know you get mad at your sister, but this is a bit ridiculous, you're arguing with a mental patient here, you've gotta control your temper," Shea said.

"She's no mental patient, she's a satanic mastermind!" Zuko hollered, Azula laughed.

"Why really, brother, I'm flattered," Azula chuckled, "The ADSSO stands for The Allied Demonic Secret Service Organization," Azula explained, maintaining her composure.

"That's retarded! Stop being so annoying! You're just like my husband, you think you're so great, but when push comes to shove you're all talk and no show," Charlie rebutted.

"Is that so? I'll show you, peasant! Go-" Azula began, but was interrupted.

"Now, now, now, peasant? Girlfriend, we gotta talk business now. You see, you may not know this, cause from your apparel, I can see you're not from around these parts, but I'm Charlie Brizzle Ketchum, highly esteemed multi-trillionare. If anyone ought to be called a peasant, it ain't me," Charlie said cockily.

"I see how it is, you've earned your way up the ladder of success, personally, I respect that as I have done the same-" Azula started, but was intercepted once again.

"What're you talking about, you didn't work for anything, you are a _princess_?" Zuko yelled.

"Shut up before I toast your scarred remains into nothing but ashes, brother," Azula slurred with annoyance, "AS I WAS _SAYING_-"

"Oh, oh, me, I'm Ash!" Ash said enthusiastically.

"ARE YOU NOW? LET ME GIVE YOUR NAME A LITERAL DESCRIPTION!" Azula shouted as she nimbly shot a lightening bolt at Ash and fried him to a crisp; Charlie started laughing, "I don't have time for your inane pestering, brother, squander your time with this one, I have a hostage to tend to, might as well captivate another as well," Azula deviously grinned. Azula's got a quick hand; looked around the room and wouldn't tell you her plan. She then used her pumped up kick to knock Cecelia out, while everyone was doting over Ash's ashes, she made a clean getaway with a brown body sack and Cecelia.

"Oh my God!" Juliana exclaimed.

"Ash! Ash, come on!" Emma cried.

"HA! He's ashes…his name's Ash….this is too ironically hilarious, I'm sorry," Betty chuckled.

"This is all my fault…" Zuko muttered.

"IT IS!" Charlie snapped, "You idiot!"

"…Aren't you mad that your friend is talking to me like that?" Zuko said to Shea.

"I don't care," Shea stated.

"What about Ash, he's dead!" Juliana cried, wiping her nose, as Charlie sniggered a little.

"I don't care," Shea shrugged.

"I don't see the humor in your husband being a pile of ashes, Charlie?" Emma stated.

"Yeah, you wouldn't…." Charlie giggled, "it's just," she paused for uncontrollable laughter, "…Now…there's Prince Aaron…and he's so rich…and we're here…in 2002…and yeah…"

"HOW IS THAT EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY?" Juliana shouted.

"Your husband just got shanked and you're _giggling_? This better be some sort of psychological case where laughter is used to cope with handling overwhelmingly grievous situations," Shea yelled.

"Oh, please, the varmint'll be back, trust me," Charlie said as she wiped her eye from laughing so hard.

"De Nile isn't just a river in Egypt!" Emma sang.

"I know you all are rather upset, but I'm going to take advantage of your mourning and Ceceila's absence and take little, Emmakins, here out to a romantic candlelit dinner," N said, "Pardon me, please," N took little Emma and lifted her into a chariot.

"Cindarella!" Little Emma exclaimed as N kissed her gingerly and sat beside her.

"On, Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixon! On Comet, and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen!" N called.

"Don't forget Rudoplh!" Little Emma giggled.

"Yes, and the defunct reject with the demented, glowing nose! " N cried as the chariot flew off into the sunset.

"…I feel queasy…" Emma mumbled as her face aged green.

"Charlie should feel sick!" Juliana scolded tearfully as she held Ash's ashes in a dustpan.

"Meh," Charlie shrugged apathetically, "I could use a tequila…"

"OH, and _I_ drink away _my _problems?" Emma yelled.

"The airplane incident?" Betty recollected and Emma silenced.

"Charlie, I know you're afraid of expressing your emotions, because you're afraid of being seen as weak-" Zuko began.

"Oh can it, cyclops," Charlie grumbled as she shoved his comforting hand away.

"…Where's Cecelia?" Betty asked.

"She's probably living in some closet or something," Charlie shooed.

"Guys, you don't know how bad this could get! Have you forgotten we're on a very, let a remind you, _very,_ tight schedule here!" Juliana shouted as she poured Ash's ashes into a zip-lock bag.

"Azula's up to something, I can sense it…" Zuko stated.

"Azula isn't mentally stable…" Shea reminded.

"She isn't as unstable as you think," Zuko yelled.

"What?" Charlie asked.

"I said Azula, Zuko's sister, isn't mentally stable," Shea repeted.

"Yeah…I get drunk every night?" Charlie rolled her eyes.

"O_O, no, Azula is a whack-job, okay?" Shea stated.

"Jim Sapalla wants to see ya in a Kia?" Charlie guessed again, "breakfast meerkats? Do you wanna kiss? WAIT WHAT."

"NEVER MIND!" Shea exclaimed, being perturbed by Charlie's nonsensical attempts in vain to try to decipher what she was truly saying. Not that it really mattered.

"Oh…my goooooooooddddd frienndddd Sheaaaaa," Charlie sighed.

"Charlie, what do you want with your husband's ashes?" Juliana said sternly as she shoved the plastic bag into Charlie's face.

"I don't know, can't you zap him back to life or something?" Charlie suggested.

"Oh, sure, let me whip out my _Jesus Christ spell_ and bring everyone back from the dead?" Juliana yelled.

"Oh, be quiet," Charlie scoffed.

"AND WE CALLED SHEA APATHETIC? Emma cried. Suddenly, a refurbished thunderbird convertible pulled up, rolling its windows down.

"Hey, there ladies," The voice swooned as the guised stranger removed his shades revealing his identity.

"Jon?" Juliana shouted.

"That's me, y'all need a lift?" He asked, widening his grin.

"Why aren't you 5?" Charlie asked as she clutched the bag full of ashes.

"Why are you clutching a sack of ashes? See, you don't like personal questions either," Jon replied.

"You know what Jon!" Charlie started.

"Charlie, shut up, Jon is trying to help us!" Shea chastised.

"Jon is just about as useful as Canada," Charlie shouted.

"Canada happens to be a great ally of ours!" Shea exclaimed.

"Didn't they hide the number one lead terrorist in a cave?" Zuko asked.

"No one asked for your opinion, Zuko, remember what happened last time you spoke out of turn?" Shea grumbled, hardly audible and Zuko's eyes widened and he became muted.

"We'll take you up on the ride, Jon!" Emma said happily as she skipped to the car and jumped in happily while fairy-skipping.

"Don't make me put you with your girlfriend, Kaylee, Jon!" Betty threatened and Jon's eyes widened as he turned the key. Suddenly as he turned the key a bunch of woman popped up from the back.

"What are you some sort of pimp?" Betty yelled as the girls giggled.

"Ohhh, Jonn, you're sooo handsomeee," The one swooned.

"WTF?" Charlie yelled, "I'm not driving with you and your beeps, Jon."

"…Aw….alright, beeps, friends come first, out you go," Jon said disappointedly as he drove the car forward fast then floored the breaks so the girls would tumble out and land painfully face-first on the street.

"Guys, I think you should lighten up, this is going to be a fun adventure of self realization for us all! We will discover our true selves and it will lead us down the right path! We'll stop seeing the world in black and white! Most importantly, I'll have my man back!" Emma said determinedly.

"God, stop the déjà vu! Quiet uncle!" Zuko shouted, he received questionable stares.

"Yeah, great for you, now my man's dead! Life is just a bowl full of cherries isn't it, Emma?" Charlie mumbled.

"Like you care," Shea mumbled.

"There is always Gary….and Aaron…or Zuko," Charlie flared.

"Excusé moi?" Shea said.

"Once you rid of one, you can riddeth thou all!" Charlie sneered.

"Enough with all the hostile, innocuous, banter! We have to find Cecelia, guys! I have a feeling that Azula girl is behind all of this with her secret group," Juliana explained.

"No really? I thought Martin Luther was the instigator of this foolproof, evil, scheme…" Charlie rolled her eyes.

"Your sarcasm is becoming a burden, CHARLIEEEEE," Emma moaned.

"Yeah, well, your face is becoming a burden," Charlie said as she hopped into the shotgun seat of Jon's t-bird, grasping the bag of her husband's remains firmly in one fist. "You know someone how could help us track down this Azula lady?"

"I think you know her to, actually," Jon stated, beaming a smile.

"Guyssss waittt forrr meeeeeeeee," Emma whined as she hopped into the trunk of the car.

"Guysss noooooo!" Emma sobbed

"AHAHAHA, Emma! Oh, Emma, you're soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable tangled up in mangled up knots," Betty laughed maniacally, as she slammed the trunk door securely and then she hopped in the back.

"The parish hall ho!" Shea chanted and they were off. Meanwhile, in the ADSSO headquarters, Cecelia and Mr. Magic Yo-yo were gagged and bonded by rope back-to-back unconscious. The gang was impressed by their leader's accomplishment, particularly Jarred. Very impressed indeed…

_******SPOILER ALERTT*******_

_**MRS. J IS A PAID ASSASSIN WHO WORKS FOR THE FBI**_

_**Stay tuned~~~**_


	15. I Brought Roses to My Beloved

"…and then Ryuk wrote my name down in the death note and I died from my bullet wounds and Ryuk writing my name down, peacefully on the stairs, the end. And this is what would happen if I, Light Yagami, ever tried to take over the world!" Light concluded.

"Son…" Mr. Yagami stated as he held his fingertips to his forehead, his eyes shut.

"Yeah, Dad?" Light asked.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, DO I NEED TO CALL A PRIEST FOR AN EXORCISM?" Mr. Yagami yelled.

"My campfire story_: 'What Would Happen if Light Yagami Tried to Take Over the World'-The Novel_." Light replied.

"Well….why'd you kill me off?" Mr. Yagami muttered, hurt a bit.

"Because, Dad, it makes me seem so much more evil…duh...Only a totally demented person could kill their own father," Light replied.

"For an honors student, and your name, you're not all that bright, Light, quite ironic actually. Though, I will confess the concept of your story was rather intriguing, a book that you write names in…and the people die, very fascinating, compelling indeed," L stated as he fiddled with his toes.

"Thank you, L, at least _someone_ appreciates my Edger Allen Poe literature…_Dad_…" Light mumbled bitterly.

"I'm sorry, Light, but the whole thing was a bit too much for me. I mean, you made it a bit too detailed. I didn't need to hear my own son turning into a sociopath and ending up dying after being brutally shot by one of my best friends," Mr. Yagami answered.

"Don't worry, chief, I'd never hurt Light! Right, buddy?" Matsuda stated happily.

"Of course not. Dad, it's just a silly scary story I conjured up, it's not like anything as ridiculous as a shinigami or a _death note_ actually exists…" Light laughed.

"Of course not! Light, you'd never go like that anyway! You're too nice! I love you, Light!" Misa squealed.

"Aw, I love you too, Misa!" Light replied happily to his girlfriend.

"Ugh, you two are simply repulsive, what happened to our friendship trio, I'm feeling like a fifth wheel here…" L mumbled.

"Of course, if I ever wrote this, I'd do it in manga form…" Light said ponderously.

"Why?" Matsuda asked.

"Ummm…..'cause mangas are the coolest…No, just kidding, I'd have to start small…" Light stated, "then it could become a TV adaption where the same show is kept the same as the manga, then there'd be a live-action movie directed by M. Night Shaymalan!"

"Oh, God, please, no…." L groaned, "He'd pronounce all of our names wrong, plus you'd end up as a wildcat played by Zack Effron…." L grumbled.

"It's all good, Effron's a good looking guy anyway! I mean, not even close to my standards, but still, that's impossible, so he'll do! It'll be a high school musical too! It may be the start of something new for Effron, but you can bet on it, that he'll bop to the top even if he's not sticking to the status quo. The movie adaption though, there'd be a different ending, it'll be fabulous! I'd die in my father's arms after Ryuk decides to kill me!" Light proclaimed.

"What?" Mr. Yagami exclaimed.

"Relax, Dad, it's not true!" Light said.

"I don't like it…" Mr. Yagami muttered.

"Come on, Dad, _**light**_en up?" Light said cheerfully.

"I just don't like the thought of you going mentally insane, killing people, having a heart attack and dying in my arms!" Mr. Yagam I yelled, "couldn't you have used different characters?"

"DAD, COME ON, IT'S A JOKE! I'm not really a genocidal maniac, it's all good," Light explained.

"I suppose, I'm sorry, son, it's just…ever since…that day….on the police force…" Mr. Yagami began.

"Hey, Dad, let's not talk about it, we're on vacation, you don't need to be upset like that," Light said understandingly.

"Yes, no more upsetting scenarios nor depressing stories of our family and friends' demise, oui?" L agreed.

"We're on vacation! Let's Russian Republic-Party Hard, harder than Dmitri himself!" Light declared. "I've got my whole family here, my girlfriend: the love-of-my-life, Misa, my best friend, L, and my sister's awesome boyfriend, my old buddy, Matsuda!"

"Yeahhh, budddyyyyy!" Matsuda chanted giving a fist pump.

"And…it looks like Matsuda's already began the party, made apparent by all the empty bud LIGHTS on the floor…" Light sighed.

"I ain't gonna shoot you, Light, I swear!" Matsuda teased, intoxicated.

"Silly, Matsuda, guns are for kids!" Misa giggled as the group of friends lit a fire and began toasting s'mores.

"Whose idea was it to let Matsuda near fire?" Light grumbled.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Matsuda pouted.

"Oh, nothing, Matsuda…." Light laughed.

"You know, I always want some more of these things!" Misa commented as she indulged herself with the marshmallow treat, liking her sticky fingers.

"Well, Misa, that's why they're called s'mores, because you always want 'some more', get it?" L explained as Misa blinked absentmindedly.

"Ughhhhhh….no." Misa replied.

"Yeah, didn't think so," L teased as he pressed the heated marshmallow up against two graham crackers.

"Light, you're friends are being mean to me!" Misa whined.

"Oh, Misa, they're only messing with you. It means they like you," Light explained with a smile and Misa sulked.

"Boy, am I tired! I think I'm gonna call it a night!" Light said as he yawned and stretched.

"Good night, Light," L stated.

" 'Night-night, the little _light_ of my world!" Misa called.

"See you tomorrow, Light!" Matsuda mumbled as he clutched his burnt hand and tried to balance a shot glass in his mouth while still telling Light "good night".

"Alright, goodnight, everyone," Light said as he glanced over to his father who was intently staring into the fire with a profound, lost gaze in his eyes, "Goodnight, Dad."

"Huh? Oh, goodnight, son," Light's father replied solemnly.

"You okay? Are you still upset over that dumb story? Next time we tell scary stories, I'll be sure to leave you out, Dad," Light teased.

"…No, no, it's fine, really," Mr. Yagami assured.

"Alright, Dad, whatever you say, but for a police officer, I'm surprised you got so shaken up at my silly, little, ghost-like story," Light stated.

"I don't know, I'm sorry, just go onto bed, goodnight, Light…" Mr. Yagami said and Light shrugged and went off to bed. The others stayed up and giggled for hours over really stupid stuff presumably. Just then the fire started to blaze out of control.

"What's going on?" Matsuda squealed.

"Show yourself, I'm an officer, you're under arrest!" Mr. Yagami declared as he jolted up off the log he was on and fire continued to perform unnatural phenomena.

"Light!" Misa cried as she held her face in her hands, "We're totally gonna die!"

"Hm?" Light mumbled as he rubbed his eyes from being rudely awaken from his slumber, he still had his diary lying on his chest and heard the frightened screams from outside, "Ah! Misa, what's going on?" Light shouted as he dashed out of his tent to see what was going on.

"Light, the fire's come alive!" Matsuda cried as he went to his knees at Light's feet, "You have to save us, Light, please! Come on, the fire's possessed, you're an honors student, fix this with your laws of physics and…. Newton's laws of motion...and yeah, PLEASE."

"I-I don't know what do to!" Light trembled as the fire continued to roar supernaturally. Just then the conflagration sparked out violently as they all ducked for cover. The fire was beginning to spread.

"Let's get out of here, come on!" Mr. Yagami shouted as he pulled his daughter and wife out of where they were seated, "Light, let's go!"

"No, I have to see what's going on!" Light demanded and Mr. Yagami gritted his teeth.

"LIGHT, NOW." Light's father commanded.

"Dad, go on, get out, Misa go with him. I've to see what this is all about…" Light said ponderously and Mr. Yagami was growing panicked and frustrated with his son.

"Light, you're going to be scourged alive, let's go!" Misa cried.

"Sayou, go, go with your mother, get out! Matsuda, get them out, now, you too, Misa!" Mr. Yagami ordered as the blaze roared out of control, doing the impossible. And the others started to follow Matsuda's lead, but as soon as he thought Mr. Yagami couldn't hear him nor see him he started screaming like a nine-year-old little girl, fleeing for his life.

"Dad, get out of here!" Light said hoarsely.

"And leave my son here to be seared alive?" Mr. Yagami shouted angrily as he grabbed Light by the wrist and started to try to pull him away, but Light broke his father's grip and began to shout.

"DAD, GO, SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT HERE!" Light shouted, "….I have to see what's going on, something bad could happen to all of us, I have to prevent it, now leave, I'll be right there, I promise," Light tried to reason, when suddenly a figure jumped out of the bushes.

"Surprise," The voice cooed and suddenly the _light_ flashed before Light's eyes and he was out cold, just as Mr. Yagami began to scream when he'd saw his son'd fallen, he was out cold as well.

"Well, that ought to have done the trick, don't you think?" Azula jeered as she put out the fire and inspected her polished nails.

"That was great, boss!" Jarred exclaimed, "But…what was the point of it again?"

"We're raiding their tents, they've got to have something valuable here…Jarred, Odysseus, Charles, Mai!"

"What?" Mai mumbled as she swung a knife around on her finger, not amused.

"What do you think? Go raid the tents or I'll give you all a face like my brother's!" Azula shouted wryly and they all started scrutinizing the tents for anything valuable.

"Boss Princess Sir!" Jarred said excitedly as he dashed over.

"What." Azula snarled.

"Look what I've got!" Jarred exclaimed as he handed her over a notebook.

"What the hell is this? It's a diary, you halfwit!" Azula said as she chucked the book back at his face.

"Read it though!" Jarred said after wincing and picking the book off the ground and handing it to her, "there's a story inside, and there's another notebook sealed on the back page!"

"This is a _boy's_ diary?" She grumbled.

"It's a diary, of a pretty whimpy kid," Jarred explained.

"This is pathetic, Charles, Mai, Odysseus, find anything good?" Azula yelled.

"You burnt it all, your royal inferno-ness," Mai moaned.

"GAH!#)*$!)$)#*!$)#$*)!#%*)$!*%)#*)!*#)!*~&%)#&∆©¬ˆ˙ˆƒ¨†~!" Azula shouted, losing her usual composure. She then took a deep breath and flipped through the diary laughing at its pettiness. Suddenly, she raised an eye braw in interest. "Perhaps you're not so useless after all, Jarred….and neither is this notebook…." Azula said as she snapped the notebook shut with a sadistic grin, finishing relaying her account to her hostages.

"…So what's so great about this notebook?" Cecelia asked, and Azula curled her lips.

"Do you really want to know?" She hissed.

"YES, I THINK I'VE MADE MYSELF CLEAR." Cecelia shouted.

"I can kill people with it, just by writing their name," Azula answered and Cecelia bolted out laughing.

"You're an idiot. God, Shea's fiancée was right, you are out of your mind, you can't kill people by writing their name in a book, God, you're a psychopath," Cecelia stated as she struggled from the ropes she was bonded in.

"Now isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" Azula responded.

"What are you talking about? I've never gone mentally insane and locked people to each other?" Cecelia said defensively.

"No, you've just _murdered dozens of your husbands_, that's all, oh, and attempted mass genocide on the United States of America," Azula laughed sardonically.

"H-how did you know about that?" Cecelia shouted out.

"You're a nefarious terrorist, how could I _not_ know? You know, now that the topic's at hand, that was quite impressive, even if you did fail, that you were even bold enough to endeavor to attack such a prestigious empire, reminds me of myself," Azula stated, "of course I did this at age fourteen…._successfully_."

"Yeah, but you also went mentally insane, and were alone for your entire life and no one likes you," Cecelia said audaciously.

"Do you want to me zap you?" Azula barked back and Cecelia rolled her eyes.

"I don't even get what your motive is for capturing me? What, do you think, I was going to try to stop you? Don't flatter yourself." Cecelia said mockingly.

"I'm holding you for ransom, don't flatter _yourself_," Azula replied.

"Well, I'd hate to burst your bubble, but I don't think anyone's all that concerned for me, and they'd easily give me up for Mr. Magic Yo-Yo there behind me to disappear for good," Cecelia explained.

"Perhaps not, but Mrs. Egocentric-self-proclaimed-multi-trillionare is going to want to avenge her husband's death," Azula explained.

"Nah, she probably loves you for that," Cecelia stated.

"It's not her husband she wants to avenge so much as her pride. She's got a weak spot, her pride, and _I'm_ going to squash it like a bug."

Meanwhile, everyone else was cruising around in inane circles in Jon's pimp limousine for the past three hours in St. Anna's parking lot.

"Jon…." Betty growled.

"What's up, lil' lady?" Jon said as he tilted his shades down just enough so his eyes would be visible.

"You disgust me," Betty sneered bitterly, he was really taxing everyone's patience now, particularly Charlie's.

"…WHEN THE HELL ARE WE GONNA GET THERE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, JON?" Charlie screamed, standing up from her seat.

"Calm down, babycakes," Jon said collectively.

"_Babycakes_?" Charlie repeated as Emma started giggling, which was followed by a solemn death stare from Charlie.

"Don't get your $1,000 bill in a knot, dollface," Jon swooned.

"I'M A MARRIED WOMAN, JON!" Charlie screamed.

"Yeah, to a ziplock bag of ashes…" Betty mumbled beneath her breath.

"LOOK, JON, I KNOW I'M THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON ALIVE, AND I'M BEYOND AN INTELLECTUAL GENIUS, AND I'M RICH, I'M THE WHOLE PACKAGE, BUT YOU ARE SO FAR OUT OF MY LEAGUE I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START!" Charlie began raving giving him the 'talk to the hand' motion.

"Look, sweetie, I'm gonna crash, could you cool your jets?" Jon said as he ran his hand through his hair.

"YOU… I'M GONNA. YOU PIMP, YOU MAY BE ABLE TO WOO ALL THE OTHER LADIES, WITH YOUR _SUGARBABY_ TALK AND WHATNOT, BUT I'M NOT LIKE THAT. STOP TALKING TO ME SO DISPARAGINGLY, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" Charlie continued to rant as Jon blissfully ignored her.

"Who do you think you are, collecting your jar of hearts, tearing love apart~" Shea began singing, and if looks could kill, Shea'd be dead from Charlie's given at that moment.

"…SHOULDN'T YOU BE GOVERNING THE WORLD'S ONLY REMAINING SUPERPOWER ABOUT NOW?" Charlie shouted, "…AND YOU, YOU LITTLE-, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT, STOP DRIVING AROUND IN CIRCLES, WHERE ARE WE EVEN GOING, GIVE ME THE WHEEL, YOU'RE AN IGNORAMOUS!" Charlie continued on in her fury as she kicked open the door and shoved Jon out nonchalantly, earning gasps from the rest of the passengers. Then, as there was no driver, the vehicle began to spiral out of control and crashed into a telephone pole.

"Charlie! What the hell? You could've killed me, then I'd never see Peterrrrr, whyyy diddd you do thatttttt?" Emma whined as she flipped open the trunk.

"Watch the language, Emma. Just be glad you were wearing a seatbelt, aren't we the ones here putting our lives on the line so you can be with Mr. Green-Tights?" Charlie rebutted brusquely.

"Charlie, I can't believe you threw Jon out of the car! What if he's dead?" Juliana cried as Betty snickered.

"Aw, the heck with him, he was just driving in circles idly wasting our all-too-precious time anyway!" Charlie barked back defensively.

"He was gonna take us to someone who could help us track down Zuko's sister!" Shea shouted as the smoke rose from the accident, "You're lucky we're not all dead!"

"Yeah, Charlie!" Emma agreed.

"Shut up, Emma, you're lucky you were in the trunk, you were safest there," Charlie growled.

"He was our last hope for catching my sister…" Zuko sighed.

"No one asked for your opinion, cyclops," Charlie retorted and Zuko frowned.

"Zuko, leave her alone, she just lost her husband!" Shea scolded.

"Yeah, then she had a fit of manic laughter," Zuko husked back.

"If it really pertains to your interests that much, I'll go check on Mr. Pimp…" Charlie mumbled and reluctantly began walking over to the site where she violently thrashed her former classmate out of a car door. Charlie walked over to Jon, who was bleeding, and grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up so his head was facing her.

"Hey, hey, come on!" Charlie said as she violently shook him back-and-forth.

"Charlie! What are you doing?" Emma whined.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm getting information out of him that we need before he internally bleeds to death!" Charlie said cynically as she let go of Jon, leaving gravity to send his head to painfully hit the gravel as Charlie put her hands on her hips. Emma winced at the sight.

"Yeah, great job…." Shea commented.

"If you're gonna get information out of someone while they're dying at least do it right," Zuko stated, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, well excuse me, Mr. Daddy Issues, don't let me show you how to do your job of getting people to near death situations then going through the ringer to get last words out of them to fit to your advantage!" Charlie snarled back.

"Ugh, you and your condescending nicknames, you're lucky you didn't know me as a teenager, then you'd really be in for it!" Zuko yelled back as Jon continued to bleed.

"Hah!" Shea snorted, "More like _you're_ lucky _you_ didn't know _her_ when _she _was a teenager, pfft, you think she's bad _now_? You haven't seen anything!"

"I don't know I was pretty bad…" Zuko mumbled.

"I beat someone up for saying the word Pikachu. On a daily basis." Charlie stated wryly.

"That's pretty bad, but I constantly ridiculed my uncle, even though he was like the only person who cared about me left on earth, and he followed me into exile…" Zuko mumbled, as if trying to outdo Charlie.

"That's nice, you're both horrible people, okay? Now can we please get Jon to answer up before he dies! I think he's got a matter of 6.83.33 seconds left if my calculations measure up correctly," Betty commented.

"That's pretty precise, Betty…" Emma stated, scared a little.

"You don't get to the point of being on America's most wanted for 7 consecutive years without a little skill," Betty said with a smug smirk of satisfaction.

"Oh, confess _that _to the head official of the government why don't cha?" Shea said.

"Let's face it, if you were that great of a president, you would've had Ceceila and I executed a decade ago, and not to mention, you'd be governing your nation, not endangering it and the entire world to get your friend's 8th grade crush back!" Betty shouted.

"Woah, woah, woah, let's not jump the gun here. _Friend_?" Shea said defensively.

"Hey! You guys were the ones who agreed to this!" Emma pouted.

"We're all morons, okay, every single one of us, didn't we establish this a score ago?" Charlie interrupted the squabble.

"Alright, Jon, can you please tell us who you were talking about before?" Zuko asked calmly as he held Jon's head up gently.

"That's not how you force information out of people, move over, Cyclops!" Charlie grumbled as she shoved Zuko to the side.

"I'm starting to miss the nickname Sifu Hotman…." Zuko grumbled.

"WHAT'S THE PERSON WHO CAN HELP US' NAME?" Charlie demanded as she clutched him by the collar in one hand and shook her fist in the other.

"Charlie, Charlie, please, let's not be irrational…" Juliana stated tentatively.

"Well, if Jon, would talk a little!" Charlie shouted waving her fist around.

"Okay, okay!" Jon mumbled as he started coughing blood.

"COME ON. We don't have all day, you've got about five minutes to live, out with it!" Betty hollered demandingly.

"Mrs. J, it's Mrs. J, okay!" Jon mumbled as Charlie released him with a grin of satisfaction and Jon flinched then braced himself for the fall.

"Oaky-dokey then!" Charlie smiled, "let's go down there, to the parish hall, away!"

"I've a better idea," Betty grinned deviously as she swiped the keys out of Jon's pocket.

"Betty…..what're you gonna do with those…" Emma quivered.

"It's game time, Emma." Betty said as she shoved the key into the ignition.

"Now this is riding in style!" Shea exclaimed as she fastened her seatbelt.

"Betty, this is dangerous, can't we just walk!" Emma moaned.

"This is dangerous, we've got a magical spell holding the time-space continuum that if it ruptured even the slightest bit….let's just say it would hinder our little expedition, shall we?" Charlie replied as she hopped on board.

"You only live once!" Zuko exclaimed as he also climbed into the car.

"Come on, Emma, let's go!" Juliana ordered as Emma hesitantly got in the car and secured her safety belt.

"…Let's get this over with…" Emma muttered as she squeezed her eyelids tight.

"Boo. Ya." Betty said with a ring and she floored the gas pedal.

"Oh, God, oh, God. Our Father who art in heaven hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come Thy will be done-" Emma started praying as she clung onto Zuko's arm for dear life. The car went storming down the steps leading into the parish hall and children screaming could be heard.

"It's a shame Cecelia isn't here to hear the horrified screams of children! She'd love that!" Shea exclaimed through her screams of terror.

"Betty, slow it down a bit!" Charlie shouted nervously.

"I'm just getting revved up, it's like a rollercoaster, come on, Charlie, you of all people! Throw your hands in the air like you just don't care!" Betty exclaimed, "Woo~woo~!"

"Hail Mary, full of Grace, the Lord is with Thee, blest are Thou among women and blessed are the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus…" Emma sobbed in prayer as the car smashed through the door, knocking down the curtain in front of the stage.

"Greetings, earthlings!" Juliana exclaimed as they all peaked their heads up from the exhilarating joyride.

"ALIENS!" One child screeched.

"We're not aliens, kiddo, we've come to have a word with your phys ed. Teacher, Mrs. J?" Shea asked as she held her head, fighting back the urge to hurl from that…ride.

"Mrs. J, the aliens have made a compromise to abduct you instead of us if you leave peacefully!" A little girl called.

"Forget it, hasta la vista, kids! This job was nice-well, no, it's horrible, whatever, you know the expression!" Mrs. J called back.

"We're not extraterrestrials, damn it!" Charlie yelled.

"I'll handle this!" Zuko stated as he motioned for everyone else to step aside.

"_I'll handle this_," Charlie mimicked in a mocking tone and Zuko scowled, "Cyclops…stealing my thunder….sfnrjaekf…just 'cause he can shoot lightning…I'll make his face look symmetrical…with my fist…" she grumbled inaudibly beneath her breath.

"Oh, so if your husband's not around, pick on _my_ guy!" Shea mumbled to Charlie.

"Hey, an idiot's an idiot, and I call 'em as I see 'em," Charlie replied and Shea nodded understandingly as Zuko shot her a glare.

"Excuse me, Mrs. J., I know that you're probably cautious to come out to the people who just crashed into your building…but we need your help, and we apologize for the damage," Zuko explained.

"Fine." Mrs. J stated, deadpanned.

"Anyone chewing gum? If you are, spit it out," Mrs. J. inquired pokerfaced still and Charlie crept out slowly.

"Ughmmm….where's the trashcan?" Charlie asked with the gum spat out in her hand.

"Right there in front of your face, kid," Ms. J answered brusquely.

"Oh." Charlie said as she chucked it into the trash can and trudged back with her head hung low, taking _**THE WALK OF SHAME**_.

"Wow, she looks way younger than my head had her pictured," Emma whispered to Juliana and she agreed.

"…You all look very familiar…" Mrs. J stated ponderously.

"Oh, well, that's strange since we've never met, right, Charlie?" Emma spat out impulsively in a blatantly nervous tone.

"Except, scar-face here doesn't look that recognizable to me, unless the scar's making him look different…" Mrs. J continued to contemplate and Zuko frowned.

"STOP POKING FUN AT MY DISFIGURATION, YOU'RE ALL SO INSENSITIVE TO MY FEELINGS!" Zuko cried.

"If you're gonna whine, transfer to the Academy of Emma," Charlie rebuked.

"Hey! You're so meannnnnn," Emma moaned.

"There lies my case," Charlie grumbled derisively.

"I know! You all look like older versions of the kindergarten students I teach!" Mrs. J said with an elated voice, but the ever still poker face.

"Umm….we're….their….cousins….from….Iceland…yeah…Iceland, we're Icelandic, except, Zuko here, he's…erm…umm….Venezuelan…." Shea said and everyone looked at her like they wanted to _kick her in the shin_.

"Iceland, huh?" Mrs. J stated flatly, she wasn't buying it.

"We're…um….seal trainers…we um….train seals to be…ugh…Navy S.E.A.L.s….yeah…..in the Navy….yeah…in Iceland…" Shea elaborated and Zuko facepalmed.

"Next time leave the lying to the experts!" Charlie hissed in her ear.

"Really? That's interesting that Iceland would name their navy after an American squad?" Mrs. J. commented skeptically.

"Well…..it's true…we just…ugh…find you all so admirable…Zuko was a professional PB & J sandwich maker….for _alpacas_!" Shea blurted out.

"What kind of politician are you? You're the president, henceforth a politician, henceforth a professional liar, and that's the best excuse you could conjure up?" Betty husked angrily into Shea's ear and she grimaced.

"Alpacas? Really?" Mrs. J reiterated, "You're all wasting my time with your farfetched innuendos, are you gonna tell me why you're here or should I just call the cops now? Any reason for the dramatic entrance that'll probably cost me my career…on second thought…"

"Look…." Charlie began as she glanced around the room and then began to whisper, "we need to keep this on the D.L. can we speak to you in private please?"

"Sure, whatever, just have your little friend there fix me up a professional alpaca peanut butter sandwhich…." Mrs. J. said as she rolled her eyes and led them backstage.

"Crunchy or creamy? Strawberry or grape jam? Wheat or rye bread? Skippy or Peter Pan?" Zuko called.

"PETER PAN, OH MY FAIRY-SKIPPING LOST BOYS, YES, YES, OMG, YES, OH. MY. FAIRYSKIPPING LOST BOYS, YES." Emma said as she grew anxious and jumped up and down.

"Oh my cupcakes, take some medication, Emma," Juliana stated bluntly as she pulled Emma by the ear, in a Brock-like fashion.

"A friend of ours tells us you can help us on a little…_mission_ of ours, is this so?" Charlie whispered.

"Depends, what's this mission? You want me to fly over to the Icelandic Sea World and help teach your seal buddies to be drill sergeants or do you want me to loan you a George Washington Carver book on how to make alpaca's favorite peanut butter and jelly sandwich? I think you'll have more luck with the drill sergeant if you go to Mrs. Dunce and for the book you can try Mrs. NoLoudenInTheLibrary." Mrs. J replied dauntingly.

"Haha, no we've got bigger issues," Juliana stated.

"Our friend and a colleague of yours has been kidnapped by alpaca peanut butter boy's psychotic sister, we need your help, our late friend tells us you can help us with that," Shea explained.

"Who's this colleague?" Mrs. J inquired.

"Mr. Magic Yo-Yo," Emma answered.

"Oh, God, sorry, guys, you're on your own," She scoffed.

"Come on, we'll make it worth your while…in alpaca peanut butter!" Emma squealed, "we'll throw in the Peter Pan brand as an augmented bonus!"

"I need cash, _under-the-table _cash," Mrs. J stated, then we'll talk and everyone instantly turned to face Charlie.

"What're you all gawking at me for?" Charlie huffed.

"You're a multi-trillionare, throw some extra bucks in for our mission!" Juliana stated.

"Why should I? I'm a grieving widow, let me be!" Charlie said, sticking her nose at them.

"Oh, my cupcakes you are a cheapskate. 'YOU WANT ME TO PAY _A DOLLAR_ TO GO IN A PLAYGROUND WHEN I COULD JUST SNEAK IN, FORGET IT!' It's been evident since the 8th grade…" Juliana imitated.

"We have to save Cecelia! Plus, we have to stop Zuko's sister, we don't know what she could be up to with her shenanigans!" Emma explained.

"FINE, FINE, FINE! Torment the mourning woman in her day of her beloved departed!" Charlie grouched as she pulled out a couple of thousands from her pocket, "there, how 'bout $12,589?"

"HOT WORMADAM, YEAH!" Mrs. J explained, almost faltering her poker face for a millisecond as she went to snatch the money out of Charlie's hand but she pulled it away from reach just in time.

"Not so fast!" Shea stated.

"_You_ need to tell us, how exactly you're gonna help us out here, then we'll negotiate," Juliana stated and Mrs. J's braws furrowed. Meanwhile…

"See, if you just spread the peanut butter with a little jerk of your right wrist to the adjacent angle of the corresponding angle on the northeast you'll see that it spreads more smoothly and is distributed more evenly throughout the slice of bread! My uncle used to teach me to focus your energy and feel it flow through your body while he tried to teach me how to redirect lightning!" Zuko demonstrated.

"Redirect lightning?" A boy exclaimed, "even Ben Franklin couldn't do that, and he had a magical kite!"

"What're you Australian or something with your Ben Franklin obsession, sit down and watch the rest of the demonstration!" Zuko ordered.

"No! You're not the boss of me, try to make me, Mr. Scary-Scarred-Man!" The child jeered as he blew Zuko a raspberry.

"How about if I get some of my magic Benny Frank lightning and give a exhibition of it on your face so we can match!" Zuko shouted.

"…Carry on with the demonstration, we're all ears. O_O" the boy silenced. Back in the other room…

"So…" Mrs. J began to unravel her true identity and took a deep breath, "I'm an assassin."

"YOU'RE A WHAT NOW?" Emma exclaimed, wide-eyed.

"I'm adept in the art of tracking, sniping, and adroit in stealth," Mrs. J explained.

"I'm so scared right now, you don't even know…" Juliana muttered.

"Well, maybe it's a good thing we never climbed that rope, it could've been aiming practice for all we know…" Charlie muttered.

"Is that why she never smiled, she became callous from killing? God, that's frightening, I bet when we played red rover all of the dodge balls had been bombs or when we played double rounder the bases were platforms for assassin training!" Shea whispered.

"So…you want me to find a friend? I'm gonna need a name of her captor?" Mrs. J stated, "That is after you hand over my money."

"Here…" Charlie said begrudgingly as she stuck out her hand clutching the bills and tried to resist letting go of them when her old gym teacher tugged at it.

"This is a bit of a double-edged sword here, y'know?" J stated as she licked her finger and paged through her payment, checking to ascertain the amount promised to her was all-present.

"How so?" Shea asked.

"Well, I just made out like a bandit, but Yo-Yo will be back…" Mrs. J grumbled, "Well, no time to just sit here and dillydally, where's alpaca boy with my sandwich?"

"Zuko!" Shea called to her fiancée.

"What is it, _darling_?" Zuko growled irritably.

"Did you finish the sandwich?" Shea asked.

"_Yes_." Zuko gritted acrimoniously out of his teeth.

"That didn't sound too assuring?" Shea stated as she and the others stepped outside. When they exited the area backstage they found Zuko tied up with a rope and wrapped in the cushioned platforms on the floor being rolled back-and-forth by the children.

"You know, if I were him, I'd light all of those brats on fire?" Betty stated to Shea.

"I-I know…" Shea replied.

"Well, let's blow this popsicle stand!" Mrs. J declared as she took a fierce bite out of her PB & J.

"This is getting quite tedious, I was hoping for some action about now," Azula yawned back at her stationary HQ.

"You don't say…" Cecelia complained.

"Yes, I can imagine it would be quite uncomfortable to be chained up to another person on the ground for hours. Just be grateful you're not locked up like my other captive," Azula replied.

"You kidnapped someone else? Is this like your hobby or something?" Cecelia stated.

"No, and if it were, it would still beat my brother's hobby of making peanut butter sandwiches for alpacas," Azula rolled her eyes and stepped over near a closet, much to Cecelia's alarm.

"What's in there?" Cecelia jolted.

"Take a chill pill, would you? I'm just introducing you to my other prisoner!" Azula explained as she opened the door and a gagged boy fell out of the closet.

"You took a kid?" Cecelia frowned, unimpressed as the boy flailed on the floor with a desperate gleam in his eyes.

"Yeah, so?" Azula smirked.

"Why would you take a kid, leave him alone…" Cecelia rolled her eyes and the boy nodded in agreement frantically.

"He's no ordinary young man," Azula began, "besides, I was younger than him and I overthrew the largest city in my dimension and my brother ruled the entire country at age sixteen, no matter how inept of a job he did…" Azula stated.

"What's so special about this kid, and you don't need to boast, I get it, you're awesome," Cecelia answered.

"This boy is Light Yagami," Azula stated.

"Yeah….and…?" Cecelia said.

"He left me a special piece of paper in his diary, didn't you, Light?" Azula grinned, "he should've listened to his daddy and ran while he had the chance, who knows what has happened to poor daddy now? He was only trying to protect his son…look at how he must've suffered now, all at his defiant little boy's expense," Azula trolled as Light's eyes bolted open.

"He has a diary?" Cecelia laughed.

"I know right?" Azula agreed.

"My companions and I got this book and at first glance it appears as an ordinary diary, but if you flip to the back page you'll notice there's a slip of unattached paper with a different stationery than the rest," Azula stated.

"Oh, no, the boy's got different colored pretty papers in his journal, let's lock him up!" Cecelia said sarcastically.

"You're not letting me get out my vital point. This young man is quite intelligent, he wrote a story, or what's supposed to be believed as a fiction tale, on a notebook. Apparently in this story of his if you write somebody's name down in this morbid copybook the person perishes at your specification so long as you write it down within 6:40," Azula concluded.

"…That's ridiculous," Cecelia stated.

"I thought so too, until I tried it out…the paper is special, it's called 'doodlebob paper", at least that's what the watermark states," Azula said.

"Let the kid speak his mind," Cecelia said.

"Very well…" Azula reluctantly agreed and removed Light's mouth gag and he started gasping for his breath.

"Where's my father?" Light immediately insisted and Azula laughed.

"Why don't you ask _your diary_?" Azula teased as she waved it in his face.

"You killed my father?" Light shouted as he choked on tears.

"No, Light, I am your father!" Azula announced.

"Well..this is awkward…" Cecelia mumbled.

"O_o….erm….okay then…." Light grimaced.

"Gosh, it was a Star Wars' quote, people these days…" Azula said.

"And just for the record, you're insane, that paper can't possibly kill anyone, I'm not some sadistic nut like you, it was a scary story I made up!" Light shouted.

"Ugh, the incessant yapping…this is why I had him gagged, I hate teenagers, their perpetual griping," Azula groaned.

"Where's my father, come on?" Light shouted.

"Mai, Charles, Odysseus, Jarred, WWNH!" Azula called and the group into her presence.

"I don't remember the last one?" Light said quizzically.

"I am the wicked witch of the northeastern hemisphere!" The witch cackled.

"She's the latest installment to the ADSSO," Azula explained as she folded her arms.

"I'm going to grab myself a cup of java, gag up the little brat if he gives you trouble, and keep a close watch on the lot of them!" Azula ordered.

"Yes, ma'am!" They all said spontaneously as they saluted her.

"Ugh, how do you deal with that?" Cecelia moaned.

"We swore allegiance to her, we're in the ADSSO because we believe in what's right," Jarred replied impulsively.

"Great, more self-righteous idiots…" Cecelia rolled her eyes, "but I'm sure there's more to the story than simply 'you want to set things right', am I right?"

"I don't mind telling my story, none of us do, maybe it can convince you to betray your allies and join forces with the side of justice!" Jarred exclaimed.

"Yeah, that'll be the day, when Charlie buys a song off of iTunes…" Cecelia stated.

"Well, you asked and I'll answer. The reason I joined ADSSO was because of my French teacher, Ms. LeFrench…" Jarred said bitterly.

"Mrs. Le French?" Cecelia repeated out of disbelief, "did you forget her real surname or something?" Cecelia mumbled.

"No, that's her name, I know right, what a coincidence!" Jarred exclaimed, "Anyhoo…Ms. LeFrench was always…._always_ putting me down, constantly ridiculing me, calling me '_The Problemed Child"_ it basically became my epithet in her class…then she even went as far as to address me as the French word for _problemed child_…" Jarred continued, "So, when I heard that you all were going back in time to fix your friend's one mistake, I was enraged. I had my life ruined and thought of myself as a nothing, because of one lady, I'd go back and change that so fast….but I didn't, you can't live life like that, you have to learn from your mistakes, so I'm here to stop this madness!" Jarred explained loquaciously.

"Ugh, of course, another self-righteous guy with overly high standing morals, yawn, next…" Cecelia stated.

"Fine, if Jarred's story didn't convince you perhaps mine will…" The WWNH stated.

"Let's hear it!" Cecelia said.

"Once upon a time, I captured a little girl named Gretta…Gretta was an adorable child that I loved dearly, she was my niece, but no one could know this because if they did her life could be jeopardized. So I attempted to kidnap her-" The WWNH was interrupted.

"Wait…wait…hold the phone….Let me get this straight, her life was in peril…so you decided to _**kidnap her**_…when no one could even know of your relation to her…?" Cecelia clarified, "Jarred, your story's starting to look better and better."

"As I was saying! I kidnapped Gretta so I could be with my little niece, but that awful Alex got in the way….and her oversized pixy fairy-godmother…." The WWNEH continued, "so they got her back with the help of the eerily feminine, named-after-a-dictator, Paul Pot…and I never saw my Gretta again…" The WWNEH concluded tearfully.

"Bravo, so I'm assuming that your reason is the equivalent of Jarred's?" Cecelia affirmed.

"Yes, I suppose, I don't think it's right that you should just go and erase all of your mistakes at the risk of the entire universe," She replied.

"Go figure…" Cecelia stated.

"I'm here because Penelope threw me out of the house because she found out I cheated on her like 5 million times and she had a billion guys sniffing around and was completely faithful the entire time. So I had nothing better to do…so yeah…" Odysseus explained with a shrug.

"So you're here because you're a total jerk?" Cecelia said.

"Pretty much," Odysseus responded.

"I'm here for the same reasons as them, what you're doing is completely immoral! How will you and your friends ever learn from your mistakes! I mean I'm the omniscient, Charles Ingalls, so I don't have to worry about idiosyncrasies like the rest of you. I've got impeccable hair to match my impeccable…well….everything else! But, there are seldom things that I cannot undo…like…the bad hair day of '67…" Charles stated and he acquired looks of bafflement in return. "I understand, you were expecting me to talk about my overly-degrading presidential reign, or my son's death, or my daughter's blindness…but no…those are all trivial when speaking in relative terms to my hair!" Charles said as he stared at his dashing reflection in a hand mirror as he primped his gorgeous perm. "As I once told my wife, Caroline, when she told me Carrie could die: 'calm down, Caroline, it's not like I went bald'. I am such a damn good, comforting husband…" Charles relished and salvaged in his own greatness.

"Okay, thanks for sharing your story and basking in your own glory, Mr. Washed-Out-Egotistic-Former-President…" Cecelia rolled her eyes yet again, "Well, what about you, dour, emo, goth girl in the corner?"

"…What?" Mai said curtly.

"What're you in the organization for?" Cecelia asked and she sighed.

"Why should I tell you my personal reasons for something? I don't even know you and I'm supposed to be holding you as a hostage…" Mai groaned.

"It couldn't hurt to share, the others did, Mai!" Jarred insisted and she sighed again.

"…Well, I wanted revenge, okay?" Mai stated.

"Revenge? On whom?" Cecelia asked.

"My ex-boyfriend, that's who…Zuko…" Mai grumbled bitterly.

"Did you say Zuko?" Cecelia exclaimed.

"Yeah, why?" She asked.

"I know him, my friend, the president of The United States, Shea, is his fiancée," Cecelia explained.

"That's just like him to move on after dumping me like that…" Mai mumbled.

"Well, according to Zuko and Shea, you were the one who dumped him," Cecelia answered.

"What? That's crazy! I loved Zuko!" Mai barked defensively.

"I never said you didn't! Don't shoot…or….stab…the messenger!" Cecelia cried.

"Zuko you're such a….never mind," Mai began.

"He said that you dumped him because Azula made you pretend to like him or something," Cecelia recalled.

"I had to say that! She blackmailed me into killing him if I didn't!" Mai shouted, "I can't believe him! That- that-"

"Cyclops?" Cecelia suggested.

"Yes! Cyclops!" Mai agreed.

"My friend calls him that," Cecelia disclaimed.

"Ugh, this is all Azu-" Mai began when suddenly the cricketing of the door could be heard and Azula walked in sipping at a cup of Joe.

"You know, Light, the one thing I don't understand is why'd you call this supposed, frightening, genocidal maniac, like my father, Kira?" Azula asked, "why such a girly eminence for such a terrifying role? Was it irony?"

"I don't know!" Light exclaimed, "Can you show me my dad now!"

"No." Azula answered bluntly, "Everything spick and span I presume?" Azula assumed.

"Clean as a whistle!" Jarred reported.

"Excellent," Azula stated, "Simply exceptional…"

"Come on, just let me know my father and the rest of my friends and family are safe and I'll shut up, I swear it!" Light attempted to negotiate.

"Light, you're such a #$#%$%_^%#$)_*%_($#_%*..." Cecelia said out of nowhere and Light furrowed his braw.

"Well, that was random. Some crude language there. Ouch." Light simply stated and then blinked twice and diverted his gaze back to his true nemesis at hand.

"Let's see…NO!" Azula stated, "You're just going to have to suffer…"

Meanwhile, Mrs. J had been given Azula's name and hacked into the government's computer citizen database and found out all of Azula's criminal records and her current location. They were on their way to rescue their friends in Jon's pimp-mobile. Mrs. J had left her students gorilla glued to the ceiling, with their mouths duct taped shut like she'd wished to do so many times. Now Mrs. J was certain they'd reach their destination by sunrise. While cruising along Zuko, Shea, and Emma were the only ones still awake; conversing.

"Mrs. J reminds me of someone…" Zuko stated.

"Who?" Shea asked.

"Mai…my ex-girlfriend," Zuko replied downheartedly.

"Oh, things just got interesting," Betty stated.

"Does she? I never met Mai, so I don't know," Shea replied.

"WHAT." Betty pouted.

"Your fiancée just sadly reflected on his ex and you go 'oh'…WHAT THE HECK?" Betty shouted.

"What do you want me to do?" Shea asked.

"Get jealous, mad, upset, something?" Betty yelled, "I am so done with you people, good night." Zuko and Shea just shrugged and got prepared for the day that awaited them. It was on.

"This isn't as much of a challenge as I anticipated…" Azula yawned, "I think I'm going to go to bed now. Jarred, you keep watch."

"Ma'am, yes, Ma'am!" Jarred adhered with a salute.

"I am not sleeping tied to _this_ guy!" Cecelia demanded.

"Ugh, fine, untie her for the night, but don't you dare lay an eye off her, Jarred!" Azula ordered.

"What about me?" Light asked, he'd been tied up in the same position with his arms and legs bond together behind his back, "I can't sleep like this, please?" Light begged.

"Let me think….what's the word I'm looking for…it's on the tip of my tongue….oh, yeah! It was: NO. Goodnight, everyone, sweet dreams," Azula said as she crawled into bed. The sun arose over the horizon as it has since the dawn of time and Azula happily awoken. She opened her eyes to see a face staring directly back at her with a haunting grin.

"Good morning sunshine," The voice cooed.

"HOLY MUFFIN STAKES STIR FRIED WITH SOY SAUCE AND COOKED ON A GRIDDLE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU? A POKEMON?" Azula screamed as she shot fire at the strange being and it laughed.

"Ya can't kill me, babe, I'm a shinigami!" It said and Azula's eyes bulged, if she couldn't firebend, what would she do? It was time to use brain over brawn.

"Is that a new Pokémon or something?" Azula quivered, but suppressed the emotion of fear, her most detested emotion of all.

"Do I look cute enough to be one of those things to you? I'm Ryuk," Ryuk said, introducing itself.

"…Well…with the new generations, you can never be sure…" Azula stated.

"I'm the spokesman for sunny D, I'm a pretty good marketer, you just can't match the power-packed taste of a sunny D? You know, the drink?" Ryuk said.

"Yes, I'm quite familiar with the beverage, but personally I get a _kick_ out of Hawaiian _punch_," Azula stated rather flatly.

"I suppose you want to know why you're staring at me, huh? Well, you see since you possess proprietorship of that notebook you can see me. Yeah, I know, woe is me, sob, cry, sob, you have to look at my wretched puss. My last owner, Steve, and then Joe…they were very twisted individuals….Steve and Joe's handy-dandy notebooks, yeah, not as innocuous as you think. And writing down Blue's clues, you wish? More like Kira's clues to your imminent doom," Ryuk explained.

"That's all honky-dory, but may I get out of bed and check up on things now, demonic Digimon?" Azula stated.

"…Yeah, sure, whatever...and I cannot believe I just got demoted from Pokémon to Digimon, next I'll be a Yu-Gi-Oh, this is just cruel," He stated.

"Well, cruelty's my middle name," Azula stated as she began walking to the hostage room.

"So you're Cruella De Vil?" Ryuk asked.

"Noooo, then Cruel would be my first name, use your brain, bakuguan," Azula mumbled.

"Bakuguan? Damn, this day keeps getting worse and worse…" Ryuk mumbled. When suddenly as Azula went to check to make sure everything was in shape with her hostages she heard the explosion she'd been waiting for.

"IT'S GAME TIME, BANG, BANG, BANG!" Mrs. J shouted ecstatically as she pulled out two revolvers and began shooting up the joint insanely, "HIDE YOUR KIDS, HIDE YOUR WIFE, 'CAUSE WE BE SHOOTIN' EVERYBODY TONIGHT!"

"Azula, you're going down!" Zuko declared.

"A chill of deju vu just ran down my spine, brother!" Azula called, "I'd been hoping you and your posse would arrive soon."

"You were expecting us? What're you up to?" Zuko stated.

"Gaizzz, wait for Emma-kinz!" Emma moaned as she came running to the scene.

"You," Azula stated bitterly.

"Me?" Emma said pointing to herself obliviously.

"No, the other person I'm directly staring at, yes you!" Azula shouted.

"What do you want?" Emma asked whinily.

"I want to compromise with you," Azula stated.

"Compromise? Your big villainous plan is to compromise?" Emma said, not amused.

"Who said it was some big evil plot? I just want you all to stop being idiots and putting all of our lives on the line!" Azula explained.

"You're lying, Azula!" Zuko accused.

"I'm not this time actually, I just don't fancy dying," Azula stated, "Tell me, brother, do you think that a person should be able to go back and fix their life's greatest mistake, especially when the entire universe's fate is at risk?"

"…I don't know…" Zuko replied honestly.

"I see," Azula stated, "Isn't it not fair that you can't go back and stop father from banishing you, or mother?"

"Azula, shut up," Zuko said sternly.

"What about Mumzy?" Azula grinned as Charlie suddenly approached them with Mrs. J.

"You're…that lady…who…" Azula began as she dropped her death note onto the floor in shock.

"…The lady who what?" Charlie asked.

"…My mother was in your attic, in your bedroom…" Azula said, almost zoned out in a daze.

"No, no, no, you see, my bedroom closet's attic is a portal to hell, or zobotron…or both…" Charlie replied, and during all the commotion Mrs. J swooped up the death note from beneath Azula's feet.

"No, it was you, that's where I found her…" Azula stated dimly.

"You found her? You didn't tell me? What is the matter with you Azula?" Zuko yelled on the brink of tears.

"See, see, I'd love to go back and change that but I can't, that's life! Why should she get to go back and fix things! Zuko, no one loves you, no one, don't you want to change that, that everyone just manipulates you!" Azula screamed.

"You're wrong!" Zuko shouted.

"I don't think so, brother from another mother and the sunshine," Ryuk stated.

"Stay out of this, beyblade!" Azula said harshly.

"Damn my life, now I'm a beyblade, this can't get worse, it's impossible!" Ryuk sobbed.

"They all used you, Zuko!" Azula shouted.

"No, you're wrong! Uncle, Mom?" Zuko shouted.

"I'll give you Mother, but Uncle used you too, it's so obvious, Zuko, at your age you should be able to read between the lines! He wanted to use you to revert the Fire Nation to its good ways and make you a substitute for the avatar!" Azula shouted.

"_**LIESLIESLIESLIESLIES!"**_ Miguel's voice spontaneously boomed from the sky and went disregarded from that moment on.

"See, wouldn't you like to alter those things, but you know you've grown stronger from them and you can't change them because that's _life_! This isn't some game of Animal Crossing where you can just turn it off without saving!" Azula yelled.

"Well if it were, you're surely the party-pooper, Ressetti…" Charlie grumbled.

"GUYS, CAN YOU UNTIE ME NOW?" Cecelia shouted.

"Not so fast!" Azula screamed as she shot fists full of fire at them, but Zuko deflected them.

"Hurry up!" Zuko shouted.

"Well that's a relief!" Cecelia stated as she was freed by Charlie.

"Yeah, you're welcome," Charlie grumbled.

"Guysszzz, we're gonna dieeee," Emma cried.

"YOU LET THEM ESCAPE, MAI, SEIZE THEM!" Azula ordered.

"No." Mai defied.

"Fine, I'll do this by my own machinations!" Azula said bitterly as she grabbed Zuko by the collar and held a fist full of fire to his head.

"Zuko!" Shea cried.

"MAKE HIS FACE SYMETRICAL!" Betty chanted deviously.

"Math is power!" Charlie agreed.

"Azula, stop!" Mai cried and Azula stared at her furiously.

"Mai!" Zuko yelled in surprise.

"What are you going to betray me again?" Azula teased and Mai grimaced.

"Can you untie me?" Light cried, "this psycho has had me tied like this for hours!" Light exclaimed as Charlie cut the rope that had him tied up.

"There you go, kid," Charlie said.

"Like I said before, Azula, I love Zuko more than I fear you!" Mai said boldly as she chucked ninja stars across the room and had Azula pinned to the wall, releasing Zuko. Zuko was bewildered.

"Oh, she loves him now does she?" Shea mumbled.

"Not so good from the other side of the stick, eh?" Charlie snarled, "I remember a certain someone mocking me for the same jealous behavior when Misty professed her love for Ash."

"I really hate you right now, you know that right?" Shea said in monotone.

"Yeah, it's all good," Charlie said, but then she received a kick in the shin in retribution. Azula then began shooting fire from her feet straight Emma.

"I'll just eliminate the main source of the problem!" Azula declared as Emma began squealing like a pig.

"You bumbling buffoon!" Azula patronized.

"Bumbling…" Emma said as she grew a wide-eyed smile, "you know what that means?"

"Oh, God, help us all…" Charlie groaned.

"I'mmmmmmmmmm bringing home a baby bumblebee, won't my mommy be so proud of me, I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee, OUCH, it stung me!~~" Emma continued to sing.

"Stop, stop, stop this utter madness, please!" Azula begged, "I surrender, I capitulate, you win, I'll succumb to your every whim, I relinquish power just make it stop! I now understand why you'd help her if she'd blackmail you with that horrendous sound!"

"That won't be necessary, Princess!" The voice said from the smoke that was beginning to clear.

"Who's that?" Juliana exclaimed.

"My secret weapon…" Azula grinned as the smoke cleared and the shadowy figure appeared to be none other than N.

"N!" Cecelia exclaimed.

"Hello there, I dropped my date off at the Chuck-E-Cheese's, so I'm good for now, you look like you're in quite the predicament there, Princess?" N stated.

"I could use a hand," Azula agreed.

"Let's get out of here, we have the death note anyway!" Light announced.

"Oh, tell them that!" Charlie shouted. As Mrs. J went to protect the book, just then it was snatched away by the nefarious N himself.

"I have my own devices for this here notebook…..for the children…" N proclaimed as he began to laugh maniacally.

"The children?" Azula repeated in disbelief, "So I've been betrayed yet again!"

"I'LL CATCH THEM ALL!" N laughed insanely.

"Your husband is really off his rocker…" Charlie whispered to Cecelia.

"At least mine's not a bag of dust," Cecelia retorted. Just then he took a pen and began to write down a name.

"Whose name shall I write….Cecelia's perhaps?" N stated as his smile was starting to look reminiscent of the joker's.

"I'm your wife!" Cecelia shouted.

"If it comes down to it, I'll snipe him," Mrs. J said with her ever-present poker face.

"Mrs. J, quick question, when did you become so badass?" Cecelia asked.

"When I started saving all of yours," Mrs. J stated.

"You see, I already know everything about this notebook…" N laughed, "and I'm going to use it to assemble all of the children in the world to my mansion….to MY PLEASURE ISLAND HEE-HOO-HA-HA!"

"You're crazy!" Cecelia shouted.

"Come, come, little boys with me, come to pleasure island and you will see!" N giggled.

"Okay, you're fired from ADSSO…" Azula declared beneath her breath, "I wasn't like this when I lost my marbles, right?"

"Thank God, no," Zuko stated as Mai stood beside him. Just then N tore off his shirt and his entire attire to reveal a leather vest over his bare chest, a top hat with his ponytail raining down his back over his stomach-length leather vest, high combat boots, and tight, black, skinny jeans with eyeliner on his face.

"I LIKE IT, LIKE IT, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!" N sang as he cracked his whip in the air.

"Shoot him, Mrs. J, shoot him now," Charlie said in utmost disturbance.

"Your wish is my command!" Mrs. J said as she began to point her trigger at N but he snagged it away with his whip.

"I DON'T CARE I LOVE THE SMELL OF IT!" N sang as he cracked his whip to his own beat, "I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT! HEE HOO HA HA! Come on, Cecelia, doll, dance with your hubby, N!"

"No, I-I'm good. Can we please kill him now," Cecelia begged as she turned with a desperate gleam in her eyes to Mrs. J.

"I'm afraid, I'm-Bringing-Sexy-Back has taken my only gun…sadly O_O" Mrs. J said as she watched N dance with his whip cracking it all over.

"I'll use this death note to rid the boys of their parents! Then I can take them to Pleasure Island! And they can earn badges! But you don't need to win a Pokémon battle to earn this gym's badge HEE HOO HA HA!" N giggled.

"I WANT MS. LEFRENCH BACK NOW!" Jarred cried.

"STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT CHAINS AND WHIPS EXCITE MEEEEEE~~~I LIKE IT, LIKE IT, COME ON, COME ON!~" N sang.

"He needs to be stopped….ASAP!" Charlie stated.

"All of this started because I decided to take a potato chip…AND EAT IT!" Light confessed.

"…I don't see the relevance in eating a potato chip and how it pertains to this man's mental insanity, but okay," Charlie stated.

"No, I mean….I wrote that story about the death note, I didn't know it would be real…" Light said, "My father….I feel like he may have had a sneaking suspicion about this…and I should've listened to him…" Light said regretfully.

"Yeah, you dumb kid, why didn't you?" Betty yelled.

"DEM OTHER BOYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT, yeah, IF THAT'S YOUR GIRL BETTER WATCH YOU BAK!~" N continued singing and cracking his whip.

"Azula…can you make him stop!" Zuko cried.

"I wish! Ryuk, you dinosaur, can you help?" Azula stumbled on words.

"Pfft, don't be silly, we all know that dinosaurs were invented by the CIA to discourage time travel…" Ryuk laughed.

"WHAT. JUST KILL HIM!" Betty ordered.

"I can't!" Ryuk cried.

"UGH, YOU ARE SUCH AN EMMA!" Betty shouted.

"An…an..an-an…an Emma? …I can't believe you just said that to me, don't even say that….her role model was Amy Winehouse! Out of all the things I was called today, that was the most hurtful, degrading, and horrible…I don't even know if I can move on in life because of what you said!" Ryuk sobbed and then fled into the closet to weep.

"This is hopeless, he's got the death note…." Cecelia screamed.

"What is a death note, anyway, explanation, and fast?" Shea asked in a frenzy.

"TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT. SHIRT. SHIRT.~" N continued to sing as he bit onto his whip.

"The death note is a book where if you write the person's name in it, they die! And you can't reverse it no matter what!" Cecelia cried, "He knows all of our names!"

"What have I done…" Light muttered to himself in horror.

"You're a true idiot genius, aren't you, kid?" Charlie groaned.

"It was an accident, I'm so sorry!" Light began, "I wish my dad was here, he'd know what to do!"

"Do you wanna call him?" Charlie offered as her shaking hand pulled out an iPhone27g.

"Woah, snazzy iPhone! Where'd you get it?" Light asked.

"Never mind that! Call your daddy!" Charlie ordered.

"I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT, KNOW IT, KNOW IT!~~ PLEASURE ISLAND AHOYYYY~~" N continued to sing.

"H-hello….Dad?" Light stuttered on the phone.

"Light?" Mr. Yagami exclaimed anxiously.

"Yeah, Dad, are you alright? Is everyone okay?" Light asked.

"We're fine, how are you, son?" Mr. Yagami asked.

"I've been better!" Light screamed as N came up to him and wrapped his whip around his neck and started singing S&M to him and dancing with him.

"Well, luckily L is great with GPS and tracking so we're on our way, and we've got something very useful! Hold on, son, we're coming!" Mr. Yagami sured.

"Please hurry. PLEASE." Light said as N whipped the phone out of his hand.

"Light? …Light? …L step on it, something happened!" Mr. Yagami told L.

"Aye-aye, captain!" L said and they continued cruising to their destination.

"Light, we're coming, honey!" Misa stated.

"What did your father say?" Charlie yelled as N's condition worsened as he was liking the floor and doing the Cotton Eye Joe.

"He's coming, he's got a secret weapon too." Light stated.

"Thank God!" Cecelia cried, when just in the nick of time Mr. Yagami, L, Misa and Matsuda busted in through the doors.

"Dad!" Light cried as he enveloped his father in an embrace.

"Light…" Mr. Yagami said, relieved as tears began welling in his eyes.

"So, what's this secret weapon, Daddy-o?" Light asked.

"We found a life note in your sister's diary," L explained.

"These were all lies though, the whole story was made up, what is going on?" Light cried.

"…A life note?" Juliana caught their ear.

"Yes, do you know of it?" L asked.

"Not exactly, but I can infer that it does the exact opposite of the death note…" Juliana speculated.

"That is correct," L stated.

"Do you mind if I borrow it for a moment?" Juliana asked.

"Be my guest," L said as he handed Juliana the book. Juliana then picked up the pen and wrote down the name: Ash Ketchum, and within 40 seconds on the dot the bag of ashes Charlie had been clutching transformed back into Ash himself and Charlie toppled to the ground from the sudden weight.

"Ash?" Charlie shouted, "Ugh, who decided to raise you from the dust?"

"Charlie!" Ash exclaimed, "I've missed you so much, being a pile of ashes is so boring, you know?"

"Yeah, sure…" Charlie agreed.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're not hurt, I was certain something horrible might happen without my protection!" Ash exclaimed.

"Oh, yeah, how did I manage…" Charlie rolled her eyes.

"It's time to….DELETEDELETEDELETEDELETE!" N cried elatedly.

"…Neer?" L said as he jolted up from the familiar voice.

"….Lillian!" N gasped.

"Your name is Lillian? You're joking," Light laughed.

"YOU'RE NOT ONE TO TALK! YOU NEARLY GOT US ALL KILLED!" L shot back.

"I think it's a beautiful name! Like a delicious Mike's Cold Hard Lemonade at a tiki bar on a July night…" Matsuda mused.

"What has gotten into you, brother!" L asked.

"Brother? Slow down!" Cecelia stated in alert, "So let me get this straight….you're my brother-in-law?"

"If you're N's wife, than yes, I'm your _step_-brother-in-law," L stated.

"Well, you learn something new every day," Cecelia shrugged.

"Now, N, I know that you may have some psychological damage from what our father had done…come on, let's talk about it?" L suggested and N came giggling down and took a seat next to his stepbrother.

"Daddy was a bad man." N said quietly.

"I suppose…" L agreed, "He went to the University of Male….yeah…."

"Whatever the hell that means…" Charlie mumbled to Ash and he shrugged.

"He was so mean to all of us and he made me lead a protest in the Pokemon dimension and everything!" N cried, "then he set me up in an intelligence force after dumping us both in British orphanages!"

"He never told you of his college days, did he?" L sighed.

"No…" N said as he twitched from his dire mental state.

"Well….our father went to the University of Male…yeah…and there he met Monk Gyatso, Ugine Krabs, and his professor, Oak," L began the tale.

"Monk Gyatso…" Zuko stated, "life just keeps getting weirder and weirder…" Zuko said to his ex-girlfriend and she nodded as they watched the two stepbrothers intently.

"All of the air nomads…that are now extinct all came from Monk Gyatso…" L told.

"Even the avatar?" Zuko asked.

"Yes, even the avatar," L answered, "…And as you can see by how many of them there were…Monk Gyatso did his fair share to help…..boost the population…" L continued to explain.

"So…Professor Oak taught them how to do all this? Good thing I killed him…" Betty scoffed.

"He was like a father to me…" Ash said glumly.

"For all you know it sounds like he could've been your father…" Charlie commented.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Ash shouted in denial as he plugged his ears.

"So, when our cousin, Pearl, was hunted and turned into oil, our father became even worse, and well he decided to get rid of his most useless children…and well…He kept….A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I J, K, L, M, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z, A1, B1, and Dmitri…" L explained, "he wanted to sacrifice one to show Krabs that he wasn't alone in his pain, so he picked you, N…"

"NO! NO!" N screamed as he picked his whip back up and started to descend into even more madness than before, "na, na, na, na come on, come on, come on~"

"Great you set him back to Rhianna mode again!" Charlie shouted.

"I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it~" N sang as he bit the bottom of his lip and stuck a pose.

"If we could get a hold of the death note we could just write his name down and be done with this…" Juliana pondered.

"We'd still have to deal with Azula and the ADSSO…" Emma reminded.

"No, we have you to prevent that, Azula already freaked out from you singing the bumblee song, think of if you sang We Appreciate You or Friday or something, she'd probably kill herself. I don't think we have to have worry about her anymore…" Juliana answered.

"We need a plan to distract N," Light stated, "what is something he really likes?"

"Children." Cecelia said bluntly as she looked up and stared direcly at Light.

"Wha-what, I-I'm no child, I'm seventeen!" Light said in panic.

"That's just what a child would say, now get out there, big boy!" Charlie stated as she pushed Light forward.

"Umm…hey….N…" Light said awkwardly to the manic man laughing to the tune of S&M in front of him.

"What is he doing?" Mr. Yagami shouted.

"Light!" L shouted and Light turned around and looked to Charlie for guidance and she hinted for him to continue.

"What is it, boy?" N said as he smiled deviously, he was an excessively ugly old coot.

"So…erm….why'd you join ADSSO?" Light said, making a casual conversation to the perv with the grotesque face and Charlie gave herself a face palm.

"I joined because my wife and her friends were driving me crazy, they all sabotaged my honeymoon because the one whiny one couldn't get over her crush from grade school, it was pathetic!" N yelled.

"Oh…that's nice…and what're you planning to do now?" Light questioned.

"KILL THEM. KILL THEM ALL. ALL THE OTHER KIDS WITH THE PUMPED UP KICKS BETTER RUN, BETTER RUN OUTRUN MY NOTEBOOK HEE HOO HA HA~" N said maniacally.

"Any way you may be willing to change your mind about that?" Light suggested.

"If you come with me to Pleasure Island, Light Yagami," N stated and Light's eyes beamed open in shock.

"…I'll do it…" Light agreed reluctantly.

"Light! Are you nuts?" Mr. Yagami shouted as he went out to stop him but was pulled back by Charlie and L, "Let me go, my son's in trouble!"

"I think he's up to something, hold on," L stated.

"I agree, he smarter than to just hand himself over like that…" Charlie stated.

"What do you know? He's my kid! He'd be willing to give himself up like that for our wellbeing!" Mr. Yagami shouted.

"Yeah, but I don't think you should completely disregard that he may have a trick up his sleeve, wait and see…" L stated, "He's my best friend after all, Mr. Yagami," L stated and Light's father nodded. Just then as Light began walking with N to be taken captive Light smirked.

"What the hell is going on here?" Cecelia yelled, "is there something I should know about you, N?" Cecelia shouted.

"What, you want to come to Pleasure Island too?" N asked.

"No, it's okay, no questions asked, proceed…" Cecelia said.

"Light, what do you think you're doing!" Misa shouted and she was shot death glares screaming at her to be silent. Just then, Light shot a signal to Mai, and she threw her stilettos at him full force flinging him backwards to be pinned up against the wall and the death note hit the floor with a thud. Light quickly snatched it back up without a moment to lose.

"Nice work, Mai," Zuko extolled.

"I try," she replied with a smirk.

"…Where's Betty…" Shea grumbled.

"Oh, yeah, and I was being so irrational with Misty…" Charlie chided.

"YOU WERE!" Ash cried.

"Ash….go….go…get fried to death again or something…" Charlie said callously in frustration.

"Cecelia, hurry, catch!" Light shouted as he tossed Cecelia the death note and she caught it.

"Pen," Cecelia demanded as Charlie pulled one from beneath her ear and Cecelia went to write down N's name, when she suddenly blanked out. "Oh my God."

"What, what is it?" Charlie panicked.

"Write it down, he's coming!" Light cried, "he pulled out the knives!"

"I don't know his real name! All I know is N Jones, I forget what N stands for! What's it stand for, L?" Cecelia shouted.

"Gaizzzz we're all doomeddd nowwwwww what do we dooo," Emma began sobbing.

"Neer, it stands for Neer," L answered.

"Okay, thank you! Cecelia said as she quickly scribbled down his name, they stared at the clock for 40 seconds, but 1:40 passed and to no avail, he was still standing, struggling to remove the last dagger from his shirt. "It's not working!"

"Neer isn't my real name, you insolent fools!" N laughed…"now….~I DON'T CARE I LOVE THE SMELL OF IT! STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT CHAINS AND WHIPS EXCITE ME!~ HEE HOO HA HA!" N laughed as he pulled the last dagger out from his shirt.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures…" Zuko stated.

"Zuko…?" Shea said.

"Oh, be quiet Zuko can handle himself!" Mai mumbled.

"Well then!" Shea said, annoyed.

"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING, CYCLOPS?" Charlie yelled as she smacked the back of his head.

"Ow, knock it off!" Zuko yelled.

"Yeah, Charlie stop abusing people!" Ash cried as he pointed to the scars all over his arms.

"Retrogress back into a bag of crumbs, you were more useful that way!" Charlie snapped, "and you, stop it with the alpaca peanut butter!"

"I have a plan, I'm not as dense as your husband," Zuko stated, "I'm going to feed him peanut butter….my alpaca peanut butter,"

"Oh, not this with the Icelandic alpaca peanut butter again?" Mrs. J groaned, "we're about to die here!"

"Cecelia let me in on a little secret…" Zuko grinned as he tentatively approached N, he took a deep breath and gulped with the sandwich behind his back.

"Did you know Pluto's not a planet anymore? Like, how rude?" Emma stated randomly as everyone was holding their breath and biting their nails in anxiety.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, EMMA!" Juliana screamed uncharacteristically as sweat dripped from her forehead.

"So…N…" Zuko began.

"What is it?" N asked as he wrapped his whip around him and licked his lip.

"GOD. So…um…you want a peanut butter sandwich?" Zuko asked as he stuck it in his face.

"What is Cyclops doing?" Charlie asked frantically.

"PEANUT BUTTER. PEANUT BUTTER. PEANUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT BUTTEEERRRRRRRRRRRRR. ARE YOU BOYS INTERESTED IN SOME PEANUTTTT BUTTEERRRRR. I'D LIKE TO BUY ALL YOUR PEANUT BUTTER AND SHIP IT TO PLEASURE ISLAND FOR ME AND MY PIG BOIZZZZ PEANUT BUTTER HELL YES. I'M SO SELF-INDULGENT FOR YOU PB….OH GODDDD I LOVE IT MORE THAN CHILDREN, HELP MY SINFUL DESIRESSSS" N cried as he ripped the sandwich from Zuko's hands and devoured it greedily. Suddenly, N began gagging and choking.

"N is allergic to alpaca peanut butter," Cecelia said with a grin as N continued to burst into hives.

"…You deceived me….Cecelia how…?" N said tearfully.

"Yeah, sorry, bub, you're just number 28 to me," Cecelia said with a sadistic smile as N's world faded to black.

"I'mmmmm mellltinnnnnggggg….as the chains and whipssss….willl exciteee me no moreeeee," N sobbed.

"Thank God," Cecelia said.

"Remember….to bring roses…to my beloved…and leave them…on Pleasure Island…with….the children…" N said his final words and breathed his last breath before he departed from the world forever.

"Okay, I guess we're just gonna go get the life note now and write down N's name and-" Matsuda began to say as he picked up the life note.

"NO!" they all screamed respectively as Azula shot fire at the book and burnt it to a crisp causing Matsuda to squeal.

"Okay, okay, okay…" Matsuda said defensively.

"…What _should_ we do now?" Azula asked.

"Aren't you going to try to stop us and our mission?" Zuko asked.

"Nah, I'm done with that, if you all want to be idiots and kill yourselves so your friend can be with a guy with green tights, by all means, be my guest," Azula replied.

"Beeeee ourrr guestt~" Shea began.

"No. Just no." Juliana brusquely stated.

"I suppose we should burry N's corpse so we don't get in trouble, and then….celebrate!" Betty recommended.

"And I know the perfect place to P-A-R-T-Y!" Matsuda exclaimed.

"And where's that, Matsuda?" Light asked.

"My bar! The coca cabaña!" Matsuda exclaimed, "And everything's on the house for our heroes!"

"Alright! It's detour from mission time, let's have some liquor!" Emma shouted and everyone just stared, "…you know….after we bury…N…and stuff.."

"BULLSEYE!" Mrs. J shouted as a gunshot was heard.

"What was that?" Emma screamed.

"I got Yo-yo down, life is good!" Mrs. J exclaimed and everyone sighed.

"This could be so bad I don't even know where to start…Mr. Magic Yo-Yo had a major impact on people's lives…and if he isn't around.." Juliana sobbed.

"Who the hell cares, N's dead, let's stuff him in a cemetery and drink away our problems!" Emma declared.

"Hell, yes!" Charlie agreed and everyone followed along as Betty dragged N's corpse with them. Juliana shook her head and rubbed the dark circles beneath her eyes, but then she just shrugged and followed along with the others.

"Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow," Juliana sighed with a smile, "I could use some champagne," she said softly. After the gang had buried N in a local cemetery, unauthorized, they were partying it up at Matsuda's bar, where he was the bartender. The past enemies from the ADSSO and the others were all seated at a table together, drinking the night away.

"I'd like to give a toast!" Cecelia announced as she stood up from her chair, grabbing everyone's attention. "To the members of the ADSSO for turning over a new life and helping us out there, to our newest friends, Light, Mr. Yagami, L, Matsuda and Misa, and last but certainly not least, my old friends, Charlie, Betty, Juliana, Ash, and Zuko!" Cecelia announced as she banged a spoon against her glass of wine.

"What about me!" Emma sulked.

"Yeah, no." Cecelia said and sobbed.

"Cheers!" Cecelia said as she lifted her glass and the others followed.

"Cheers!" they all said respectively and they clanged glasses. The night carried on and continued to drink…and drink….and drink some more….and more….and until they needed Spongebob time cards and were all half passed out all over the floor.

"HEhheehhheee, the llamas in El Salvador have funny accents…." Emma giggled as she pet Light's head, the only one not drunk.

"I want to go home," Light sobbed.

"IT'S A GIANT MUSHROOm, GUIAZZZ. MAYBE IT'S FRIENDLY ZOMG!" Emma squealed as she started to dance with the curtains, "Oh, Peter, yes I do want to feel your muscles," Emma said as she began giggling and kissing the curtains.

"You should be happy with Peter, Emma, if he makes you happy I'm happy! You all are just too great, I don't deserve you half the time! I just love life so much!" Cecelia said giddily as she wrapped her arms around Betty and Juliana.

"GET THE HELL OF ME, YOU WORTHLESS PEASANT!" Juliana screamed as she punched Cecelia on the arm, "I HATE ALL OF YOU GET THE #$*)#$ AWAY FROM ME )#*$*)!#)!*!"

"Aw, that's okay, Juliana, I love you anyway, we'll be friends forever! Shea agrees, right, Shea?" Cecelia said happily.

"I. Broke. The. Liberty. Bell." Shea said despondently.

"It'll all be okay, even if the entire world hated you! You gotta look on the bright side, right, Charlie, galfriend?" Cecelia said pleasantly.

"No…I just can't….my life is so hard!" Charlie said as she bursted into tears.

"Do you need a shoulder to cry on? Because you know I'm always here for you, galfriend, we made the pact to stay BFFLS til the end!" Cecelia winked.

"When Ash died….a part of me died too…" Charlie said melodramatically as she dropped the tequila she was holding and the glass shattered on the floor. "That glass shattering shows exactly what happened to my heart when my Ash died," Charlie began weeping.

"LOLLOLLOLLOL!" Shea said "My Ash….ahahaha,"

"I don't see how this is funny!" Charlie cried as she let out wracking sobs, "how would I have lived without him! I may tease him all the time, but underneath it all I love that man more than life itself, God, what would I have done!" Charlie screamed as tears flowed off her face.

"I would've been here for you, Charlie, it's all okay," Cecelia reassured.

"I THINK THAT WE SHOULD EMANCIPATE ALL ANIMALS, INCLUDING ALPACAS!" Betty said vehemently.

"MOO SAID THE ALPACA!" Zuko shouted.

"ANiMALS HAVE RIGHTS TOO, THIS IS SO WRONG! Emma, why don't you come up here and sing a little drabble with me! You too, Matsuda, you're just plain adorkable, I could eat you up!" Betty said as Matsuda and Emma happily skipped up on the stage and they started doing a kickline with their arms around each other for "Always Look On the Bright Side of Life".

"ASH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" Charlie sobbed as she hugged her husband tightly.

"I love you too! BUT I LOVE PIKACHU MORE AND YOU KILLED HIM! I SHOULD'VE MARRIED MISTY, WHAI, GOD, WHAI!" Ash sobbed.

"How could you say that, Ash, you are my whole world!" Charlie sobbed, "If we ever have kids, Ash, I want to name our son Molly-Man, okay?"

"THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL NAME, SWEETHEART!" Ash agreed.

"Let's dance to the beautiful performance!" Charlie said.

"YUS, DANCE!" Ash said as they both went out to the dancefloor and broke some moves.

"Oh, doctor~" Charlie whispered into Ash's ear, "You are so romantic~"

"Life is a splendid thing, you guys are the best!" Cecelia shouted.

"I HATE ALL OF YOU )$*#*$)# I'M GONNA KILL YOU ALL IN MY SLEEP, GODDAMNIT." Juliana shouted as she ran around the bar smashing everything with Betty's sledgehammer, "NO ONE COME #$)#$ NEAR ME !*)$)#!* I'LL $)%*#)$ KILL YOU!"

"That's our little number!" Emma announced as they finished and Betty passed out.

"Hey, Mr. Yagami, Light, Misa, L, get up here and sing some Death Note Musical with me, come on, let's hit it!" Matsuda shouted as they all got up and happily took a mic.

"Ughhh…..being underage is so….hard," Light mumbled as he reluctantly took the mic.

"Looks like the band is back into business, hit it, Matsu!" Mr. Yagami cried.

"THE BOYS ARE BACK, YEAH!" L screamed as the lead singer of their punk metal band and put their own gothic twist on the song.

"I wanna sing now, if that's okay with you?" Zuko said as he ceased _**mai**_king out with Mai, cheating on Shea.

"Go right ahead, Zuzu," Mai said giddily as she gave him a peck on the cheek, "go get him," she said seductively.

"Thanks, Mai, I love you so much," Zuko replied.

"I love you too, Zuzu," Mai replied as he took the stage and started punk/rock jamming out to HSM3 Senior Year tunes.

"Why are you so sad, Nephew?" Cecelia asked, "Life is so wonderful!"

"I'm sorry for my depression, Uncleee," Charlie sobbed.

"EVEN THOUGH MY FIANCEE IS CHEATING ON ME WITH HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND ALL I CAN CARE ABOUT IS THE LIBERTY BELL, I MUST'VE HURT SO MUCH MORE THAN THE OUTSIDE CAN SHOW! I HURT ITS POOR FEELINGS, HOW WILL I LIVE WITH MYSELF, GOD, WHY!" Shea cried.

"It's all okay, guys, because there will always be the sun shining over the horizon the next day!" Cecelia cried inspirationally.

"DID SOMEBUDY SAY SUNSHINEEEE~! ?" Ryuk exclaimed as he was drunk/high off of sunny d. Meanwhile, a drunk Charlie led Ash outside where she continued weeping and professing her undying love for him, they were right near N's tomb and the grave suddenly faded from the engraved "R.I.P." to "I.S.R." to the gang's blissful oblivion meant "I shall return". N had his own plot, he wouldn't go down without a fight. As Charlie sobbed she fell to her knees and landed upon another death note, right in front of N's grave. His plan was so deeply calculated that not even Charlie, the smartest person on earth had grappled it yet. She tearfully picked up the death note in her intoxication and smiled at her husband.

"I have great plans for this, my love, great plans indeed," Charlie smiled to Ash and the sun began to arise over the horizon and the roses began to bud around N's grave…

TO BE CONTINUED…


	16. May the Odds Be Ever In Your Favor

The lawn reeked of alcoholic vomit, which thankfully didn't lead to any Kimmie tales. The dawn was just rising over the horizon as the birds began to chirp their last, as the potent stench was too much for their little bodies to bear. Charlie staggered to her feet slowly as she leaned on her husband, Ash, for support. As she regained her consciousness, she grabbed hold of her head as the world around her span. She was seeing double and nearly toppled to the floor again, but managed to recover her stability. Catching her breath, Charlie finally became aware of her surroundings and her eyes bugged open wide. Ash was on the ground in a pool of puke with a bottle of beer clutched close as he murmured words about Pikachu.

"Ash…." Charlie grumbled as she kicked him over with her foot, grimacing at the barf all over his mouth. Ash stirred in his deep, intoxicated slumber and Charlie grew frustrated and started kicking him repeatedly. "Wake up, you drunken idiot!"

"….Huh….Oh….oh…oh, God…" Ash groaned as he rubbed his eyes, "what was I drinking last night?"

"Too much," Charlie mumbled.

"You don't look so hot yourself," Ash retorted.

"Ash, don't be ridiculous, Mrs. C said I could be a model in 7th _and_ 5th grade, I'm obviously _always_ beautiful," Charlie said, flipping her hair.

"Well, stop noodling about it! If we don't hurry up and help Emma, drunk or not, we're gonna miss the boat-er-I mean the time-space continuum hold…thing…yeah," Ash replied, "I think I'm still drunk."

"Yeah, me too, that was a wormadam good chardonnay…" Charlie said in a muse.

"Ugh…where are we anyway, what's even going on, and whose grave am I near…and what's this book lying next to me?" Ash groaned as he rubbed his head.

"Don't touch that!" Charlie screamed as Ash reached for the book.

"What the hell, you gave me a heart attack! Why not?" Ash shouted.

"No, that book will give _everyone else_ a heart attack! Plus…if anyone gets to touch it, it's me," Charlie grinned.

"No! I remember what it is now! Wormadam, I was really drunk…. Besides, if _you_ touch it, the entire world would wind up dead!" Ash snapped.

"Enough of our idle chitchat. Let's go find the others before they choke on their own upchuck or this time-space rift thing breaks!" Charlie said and Ash nodded in agreement as he extended his hand for Charlie to assist him up, only to get a shove instead.

"Ow! Last night you would've helped me," Ash stated with a devilish smirk.

"What're you talking about? I wouldn't help you up off your death bed to go to the bathroom," Charlie rebuffed sardonically.

"Oh, sure…" Ash rolled his eyes.

"You were _so_ drunk…" Charlie growled and Ash pouted, as they staggered into Matsuda's bar. Everyone was passed out on the floor from last night's little fiasco still.

"I _STILL_ WANT MY MOMMY!" Zuko whined on the floor as he held onto a bottle of Guinness, "Uncle, what did you put in my tea this time?" Zuko sobbed.

"Why do I do my hair like this every day, it takes so long, why aren't I bored of the same hairstyle every single day?" Mai cried in Zuko's arms still from the previous night.

"So who is Peter Pan? He's a creepy sixty-year-old man~" Emma sang, intoxicated.

"So then I said: 'that's not a walrus, that's my cousin'!" Cecelia laughed as she made her two thumbs with drawn on faces talk to each other.

"The poor, poor liberty bell….." Shea cried as she bit the neck of a Budweiser bottle.

"Ono kashi, ono kashi, ono kashi, no~" Betty sang in meditation.

"DIE, DIE, FOUL BEASTS!" Juliana screamed psychotically as she threw pencils at the wall, "you aren't #1 pencils! Only Smitty Werbenmanjensen has those, _he was number one_!"

"…They drank…_all night_…." Light muttered, holding his legs in his arms in a corner.

"Thanks, Sherlock…" Charlie blurted out.

"…How are we supposed to snap them back into reality…?" Ash asked in bewilderment.

"I've got a trick," Azula stated as she applied some crimson lipstick to her lips, appearing out from the midst of the shadows.

"You!" Charlie shouted accusatively.

"You're the one who killed me!" Ash pointed his allegation and Azula shrugged.

"Wanna know the trick or what?" She yawned, "I haven't got all day you know."

"Fine…tell us…" Charlie grumbled, "But hurry up, we can't afford to be on this detour _you caused_ much longer. All of our lives are at stake here, _including yours_!"

"Of course…I know you were too drunk to remember, but we made amends and we're all _buddy-buddy_ now," Azula leered.

"Oh, sure, and I'm the Easter Bunny," Charlie snarled.

"Even ask my brother," Azula suggested.

"I would, but he's curled up in a pool of throw-up mumbling about his prolonged mommy issues and how your uncle drugged his tea," Charlie replied.

"Whatever, it's irrelevant anyhow. Just bring me your wizard friend's wand," Azula stated.

"Do you think I'm retarded, arson addict?" Charlie snorted.

"Do you want an honest answer?" Azula jeered.

"Do you want an honest fist in your face?" Charlie raised her voice.

"Do you want me to roast you like baby back ribs on Memorial Day weekend?" Azula countered.

"No, no, please, no more searing people alive…thank you," Ash intervened in a mealy voice.

"Then give me the wand. I am trying to aid you, _peasant_," Azula gritted through her teeth.

"Ash, if you give Miss Psychopathological Pyromaniac the wand, we're over, I'll go to Gary," Charlie blackmailed.

"No! Not Gary! Sorry Azula, can't lose my woman to my top-notch rival," Ash shrugged with a flirtatious wink.

"You leave me no choice, I refuse to sit here and leave us all to our doom that you inflicted upon all of us with your asinine games of childhood lovers and reliving your glory days through all of your midlife crises!" Azula shouted as she positioned herself, ready for a lightning bolt strike straight to Charlie's chest.

"O_O…okay…thought you were bluffing….okay….um…not the right finger you point at people when you're mad…" Charlie stuttered.

"And, Mr. Pokémon Master over there, don't pull any Zukos and jump in front of the blow!" Azula yelled.

"…You won't have to worry about that, heh," Ash laughed and Charlie shot him a glare.

"Look…I'm not usually one for negotiating peace, but let's all just calm down and be a little rational here..." Charlie said in a vain attempt to be civil. As Azula prepared her lethal blow she rolled over in an agile motion. She took a supple grab of Juliana's wand and with the sleight of her hand she nabbed the wand right from Juliana's drunken grip. Charlie's eyes bugged wide open and Azula grew a manic grin. With her sadistic smirk she shifted from her fatal shot of her fingers to a point of the wand. With a flick of the wrist, all the occupants of Matsuda's bar were sent to the future. They were in the same location, granted, just in a totally new era and century. Azula had used her sinuous, convoluted scheme of gaining everyone's trust and snagged the wand, reversing Juliana's spell that was locking them in the past, and zapped them all into the future. Thinking this, would surely keep all of the varmints out of her hair. She had another thing coming. Her plan was nearly foolproof, but unfortunately for her, had a tad of naivety knotted at the bottom of its rope.

"Oh, God…._another_ drunken dream," Betty growled as she awoke in the middle of a futuristic field.

"Ugh, me too," Shea complained as everyone slowly began to stumble to their feet, one-by-one.

"What is going on…?" Juliana mumbled as she arose.

"Where the fairy-skipping lost boys are we?" Emma groaned.

"Oh no," Charlie stated.

"Crapadoodles," Ash cursed beneath his breath.

"What's going on?" Zuko asked.

"Yeah, _what is_ going on?" Shea grumbled as she saw Zuko's arms still around Mai. He immediately blushed and released her.

"Ugh…" Mai sighed, "we were drunk, get over it."

"Okay!~~" Shea exclaimed as she made a heart shape with her hands.

"That's how you'd react, isn't it, Charlie?" Ash nudged.

"Oh, what're you hinting at there, _sweetheart_?" Charlie husked.

"Nothing, nothing, hypothetical statement.." Ash stated.

"Speaking of sweethearts, what're you all doing? You know where you're supposed to be! Don't act like there wasn't a billion propos! The Capitol explicitly stated that they rose the age of valid participants for the hunger games! The reaping is gonna start in less than an hour!" The mysterious man yelled to them all.

"Who're you?" Betty growled, unimpressed, "and, yeesh, lay easy with the liquor would ya, big guy?"

"You're ones to talk, I know drunks when I see 'em, you're all just getting over hangovers," Haymitch alleged.

"Takes one to know one…" Betty whistled casually.

"Haha, very funny, sweetheart. Now you all better move it before The Capitol gets their hands on you! Get your behinds over to the reaping now!" Haymitch ordered.

"What the heck is _the reaping_?" Light yelled.

"Ha! Like you don't know! You're a big kid, your name's been in there before, son," Haymitch laughed.

"Dad, what the hell is a reaping?" Light asked his father.

"How am I supposed to know? I say we ought to just go along with it and follow him," Mr. Yagami suggested.

"Oh, sure, that's a _brilliant_ idea, _Mr._ _Police Officer_! Let's follow a loaded alcoholic to a location that we _know not of_ in some _strange_ futuristic universe! Glad to know they only let _the best_ in the Japanese police force!" Charlie jabbed sarcastically and condescendingly.

"Don't talk to my dad that way!" Light pouted.

"Oh, shut up, kid. Pretty soon you're gonna have to change your name to _Dark _when I knock you out if you don't shut your pie hole," Charlie retorted.

"Now, we can do this the hard way or the easy way. Or the medium way. Or the semi-medium-easy-hard way. Or the sort of hard with a touch of awkward-easy-difficult-challenging way," Haymitch snapped at the non-faltered group.

"Look, I don't know what a reaping is, but if you don't get out of our personal space so we can sort things out, you'll be dialing up the Grim _Reaper_, capiche?" Betty snarled at the gnarled, un-sober man.

"Listen….." Haymitch said as he began to drop his voice down to a whisper, "I'm going to let you all in on a little secret around here."

"We're listening…" Juliana stated.

"The Capitol….is going to _kill us all_…if we don't get our butts down to that reaping now. You could be selected, and die, or we could not even take that chance and give you a _guaranteed_ death, your choice," Haymitch slurred out of his mouth, trembling almost.

"This sounds like an overrated science fiction novel where the world has retrogressed into barbaric coliseum games," Cecelia mumbled.

"Kind of like my husband's barbaric cock fights," Charlie joked.

"Charlie, shut up, Cecelia, stop being a hipster. Now, Haymitch…what is a reaping exactly?" Shea asked in curiosity.

"You're pulling my leg?" Haymitch said in disbelief.

"Trololololo~" Ash sang.

"ASH!" Charlie reprimanded.

"Sorry." Ash stated.

"You let us in on a little secret, now it's time for us to let you in on our skeletons in the closet," Juliana began.

"NO!" Zuko screamed.

"What is _your_ problem?" Shea moaned.

"Leave Zuko alone, would you? Ugh, you're so nagging!" Mai grumbled.

"Ha, that's a good one, goth-girl!" Charlie added.

"Zuko is traumatized because Azula lied and said they found his mother's remains in your closet actually, Charlie," Mai explained.

"We have bigger problems than Crescent Moon's mommy issues right now!" Charlie demanded they get back on track.

"AS I WAS SAYING." Juliana shouted overtop their quarreling, "We're not from around these parts and we have absolutely no clue how we got here. You see, we need to get back to Oldtown Circle, Pennsylvania."

"Hush! Pennsylvania? No one even knows what that is anymore! Pennsylvania hasn't existed in 350 years," Haymitch explained in a frightened, hushed tone.

"Okay, he's lost his marbles. We need to find a plan B," Betty declared.

"No…what if he still has his marbles," Shea stated.

"I mean, if he doesn't, we could always play jacks or cards or something," Emma stated.

"Emma….just-just no," Betty growled.

"It doesn't matter where you all are from, you'd better just get your behinds over to the reaping now if you know what's best for you," Haymitch advised.

"Fine, we'll tag along, just to fit into this weird place better…" Juliana agreed reluctantly, "come on, guys, we don't have much of a choice." They then followed, reluctantly albeit, to the center of town where the reaping was being held as Emma sang _A Thousand Miles_ by Vanessa Carlton. The square was decorated with flowers everywhere. People had flooded the square, sobbing their eyes out, suddenly everyone was a bit repentant about crashing the party.

"In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have agreed to this…" Juliana laughed nervously.

"But there are pretty flowers!" Emma squealed as she picked some lilacs and happily threw them into the air. She then took some petunias and began making leis for everyone as she started singing the Daisy Cream Cheese commercial jingle. She then took some Lilies-of-the-Valley and began frolicking in a fairy-skipping fashion all about. _"Doop a dallop of daisies~~~"_

"Yeah, this really _was_ a bad idea," Juliana added at the sight of _that_. Suddenly, a man walked awkwardly up to the podium, he cleared his throat, and began tapping the microphone to test it. When it seemed to be working, he started to speak.

"Welcome, District 12, to the 74th annual hunger games!" The announcer said enthusiastically. "We are thrilled to have you hear for our reaping! Effie, I'm afraid, could not make it. She is very preoccupied with some carpenters who discontinued the mahogany line of their products. Though she is _tree-ing_ her best to let the games continue!" The announcer paused, waiting for a laugh that never came; he then cleared his throat awkwardly, and went to continue his speech. "So, in Effie's absence, I, Carl Azus, will be taking her place as the reaper for the games! So, without further ado, let's start the reaping and as Effie would say, may the odds be ever in your favor!" Carl finished as some people strolled in an enormous bowl full of folded up pieces of paper. "Oh, right, one last thing, as you all know, this is a particularly special games this year. Any age may be selected and there are way more tributes…okay, time to proceed!"

"Hunger Games? Is this some sort of Olympic charity to raise money for Africa or something?" Betty asked Haymitch.

"I don't know what an Africa or an Olympic is, but this is no charity," Haymitch said, swallowing hard.

"Did you grow up in a cardboard box, like legit?" Betty snarled.

"If only I was that lucky…" Haymitch mumbled a sarcastic reply. Then, Carl began swirling his hand around in the huge bowl, fishing out a piece of paper for selection.

"Is this like, some medieval version of lottery tickets?" Charlie asked, her frugal nature piquing her interest in lotteries.

"I don't think so, Charlie…" Ash grumbled back, "Everyone seems pretty somber…"

"We have made a selection!" Carl announced in unrequited excitement, "Our first pick is a handsome, young, heartthrob! He's sure to take your breath away and add melodrama to a love triangle, he _kneaded_ to be here because he just _loafs_ The Capitol so much, he is the greatest thing since _sliced bread_: Peeta Mellark!"

"Oh s***, oh God, please, please," Peeta mumbled as a he was shoved forward. "No wait, this is really all just a misunderstanding! You see, I'm not Peeta! That's not my name! They call me hell, they call Stacy, they call me her, they call me Jane, they call my quiet girl, but I'm a riot, Mary Jo-Lisa, always the same, that's not my name, that's not my name!" Peeta cried as he was pulled up to the stage.

"It's alright, Peeta, my boy, don't be shy! I would never mistake you for Stacy or Jane, maybe hell, but you know, that's just because you're so hot for the ladies," Carl joked.

"Oh." Peeta stated.

"Anyone you want to give a shoutout to, Pete?" Carl asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact," Peeta said, trying to restrain the sheer desperation and terror in his voice as he snagged the mic. "DAD, DAD, DAD, DADDY, PLEASE HELP ME, COME ON! PALLO THE BAKER, PALLO MELLARK PLEASE COME ON! PAPA PALLO!" Peeta cried for his father.

"You all be looking at the wrong guy!" Pallo stated as he ran away.

"Looks like someone's daddy doesn't love them!" Carl said.

"You don't have to rub it in, Carl!" Zuko cried from the audience and Shea kicked him in the shin to silence himself.

"Ugh," Mai sighed, "you are the most abusive girlfriend ever."

"That's a good one," Charlie stated.

"_Fiancée_, actually, and why don't you mind your own business," Shea grumbled.

"You can show emotion?" Mai said in fake surprise.

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" Charlie grinned, butting in.

"…Charlie, go away." Shea said.

"Cat fights are fun, especially over Cyclops, I don't even get his appeal," Charlie sniggered.

"Says the one who got eloped with a moronic, diseased ten-year-old," Mai rebutted.

"Burn!" Zuko commented.

"Like half your face," Charlie shot back.

"Well, Peter-" Carl began.

"It's Peeta," Peeta corrected.

"I like Peter," Carl demanded and Peeta just sobbed some more.

"We're moving onto our next lucky winner!" Carl said as he beamed a toothy grin. He then threw his hand back into the bowl and swirled it around until grabbing another slip of white paper as he unraveled it to read the name.

"Ah! And the death gods said, let there be light! Light Yagami, come on up here!" Carl announced and Light shrugged and walked up to the stage, not knowing what he'd just been dragged into.

"What exactly just happened to my son?" Mr. Yagami asked Haymitch curiously.

"I don't think you want to know, man," Haymitch replied.

"So, Light, anything to say to en_light_en us on yourself? It'll really _light_en up our day!" Carl said with a wink.

"Erm, yeah, what am I doing here, did I win a car or something?" Light asked in bafflement as Carl chuckled.

"Ah, you're a funny kid," Carl said, wiping his eye as he prepared himself to draw another name.

"How did his name even get in there?" Shea asked.

"The Capitol does this stuff, not me, sweetheart!" Haymitch shrugged. It continued on for hours, names being drawn, people weeping, and every single time traveler was up on that stage, registered for the 74th annual hunger games. They now were being forced into an airplane to be shipped over to The Capitol.

"Where are we going?" Cecelia grumbled.

"There better be free food," Charlie stated.

"There will be food actually!" Carl commented.

"Yes! I suddenly stopped giving a damn what's going on now," Charlie exclaimed.

"Charlie, what if they're gonna _kill us_!" Ash cried.

"At least we won't die from starvation then," Charlie said sarcastically, despite the fact that her paranoid husband's speculation was entirely accurate.

"…So…what kind of food you people serving?" Mai asked, sitting next to Zuko.

"Good food," Carl answered, with a really creepy smile on his face.

"oh." Mai replied curtly with a quizzical look.

"Making my way to the Hunger Games, walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound. Staring blankly ahead, just making my way, making a way through the crowd~~" Emma sang.

"…Would you like to watch an educational documentary on the hunger games?" Carl offered.

"Ew, no," Betty said quickly as she stuffed her face with chocolates.

"Betty, it will probably tell us what the hell is going on," Juliana snapped, "Yes, we'd love to see it."

"Great! Here you are!" Carl said as he pressed the play button on the remote control and the video cued its play. The movie was in stunning HD, and TV had a beautiful plasma screen, it was a Sony, though, I suppose that is an irrelevant detail.

"The history of the hunger games," the narrator began as a sequence of explosions played out. "It all began with the last president of a place once known as The United States of America," the narrator started as a reenactment began to play on the screen.

"General Iroh!" a voice yelled as he ran up to the esteemed navy captain.

"He looks just like you, Zuko and he has the same name as your uncle!" Mai exclaimed, adding commentary.

"When the heck did this happen?" Shea asked, "At least I know I end up married to Zuko."

"Says who…" Mai grumbled with a smirk.

"Shhhh, _my baby_ is speaking," Zuko stated as he shushed them all.

"What is the status report?" Iroh asked.

"We have gotten wire from the avatar," the man reported.

"Aang?" Zuko commented from the seat.

"How the hell do you get _a wire_ at _sea_?" Charlie shouted, her hand cupping her cheek, leaning on it in annoyance.

"WITH _**HONOR**_!" Zuko shouted, "Fermez les bouches!"

"The president has gone missing, she hasn't returned in a decade as of today. Because of her absence, the nuclear attacks have been worsening and WWIII isn't dwindling!" The man reported on the video.

"How observant…" Iroh groaned.

"Well…she said she was out on vacation time, and the whole world supported her as leader of our country that it was never really questioned…congress just overruled it by the decade law though…what shall we do, General?" The man asked.

"Whatever President Shea left as her will to be done in this case," Iroh said matter-of-factly.

"Erm…are you sure sir?" The man asked.

"Yes, I trust my grandfather's ex-girlfriend's decision." Iroh stated.

"HA! HA! HA!" Mai exclaimed as she jumped up on the couch back in the real world.

"…So how about that local sports team?" Zuko stated.

"Oh, s*** is about to hit the fan!" Charlie yelled.

"Is there something we need to talk about?" Shea said, so calm and emotionlessly that it was unnerving.

"Well, it would've hit the fan with anyone else," Charlie shrugged.

"You can't yell at me for a reenactment, Shea! This whole video is probably propaganda and lies!" Zuko laughed nervously.

"Guys….you're ruining the movie…." Emma said as she pointed to the screen.

"Okay, General, your wish is my command," The man said, saluting the general and went off to follow orders. The general is shown rushing into the oval office and a redhead is seen in the chair facing away from the screen.

"General Iroh has given me permission to follow through with President Shea's will, Vice President Cecelia!" The man delivered.

"WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?" Cecelia said excitedly.

"This whole video is full of lies! Even if my grandson is devilishly handsome," Zuko added.

"Excellent, be gone now," Cecelia said as the man bowed and scurried off. She then slipped a careful, latex, rubber glove on and removed the glass sealing box that was overtop a huge, red button. "Just as planned…" Cecelia smiled sinisterly as she slammed down the button with her fist. The screen went up in flames as the entire world was shown, blasted into smithereens.

"What the heck just happened?" Betty asked.

"I think Cecelia just went off the deep end," Ash stated.

"Oh you," Cecelia blushed.

"Yeah, someone's off their rocker there. On the flip side, this makes a really badass action movie," Charlie added.

"Is that even the end? This doesn't make any sense if this is a documentary, if the world blew up, how're we still here?" Light asked.

"Well maybe if you shut up, we could find out!" Emma yelled

"I think everyone on Cecelia's council has a secret!" Ash said.

"Iroh makes me lol," Betty said.

"I know who Shea _really is_," Mai stated.

"What? That doesn't even make sense? Can we just watch please?" Shea said as they re-diverted their attention to the movie.

"The world, or what was left of it, plunged into a chaotic megalomaniacal rule by the tyrant known as Cecelia. The rest of the history is currently unknown, but historians discover more each day about Panem's dark past. All that is known next is that out of the 400 people left on the planet, there was a meeting, at what is now the capitol, after our goddess, Cecelia's passing," the narrator spoke.

"I am a goddess!" Cecelia declared.

"They started rebuilding houses and cities reemerged in out wonderful country. Within the next century there was 400,000,000 people in Panem once more, most of them were Ty Lee's chi-blocking children. People needed a population control, and the council met up again, this time, a great solution would be made." The narrator continued as a council room was showed.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" Mrs. Dunce screamed, "AS YOU KNOW, CHILDREN ARE THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL. ALSO WE HAVE WAY TOO MANY STUPID HOMO SAPIENS IN OUR COUNTRY RIGHT NOW. SO PEOPLE, I HAVE FOUND THE SOLUTION!"

"I am the solution," a masked man stated.

"No, I am the solution," A dish detergent yelled.

"WOULD SOMEONE REMOVE THEM FROM THE PREMESIS, THANK YOU." She continued her tangent. "SO, I HAVE CONDUCTED A WONDERFUL IDEA! EVERY YEAR, WE CAN HAVE A GAMES! WE'LL MAKE 24 PEOPLE FIGHT TO THE DEATH IN AN ARENA WITH A THANKSGIVING DECORATION AS THEIR ONLY MEANS OF WEAPONRY AND SURVIVAL!"

"That…is **brilliant**!" Another councilman agreed.

"ALL IN FAVOR?" Mrs. Dunce asked as all the councilmen raised their hands, including Tarrlok. "EXCELLENT, THEY BEGIN THIS YEAR, MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" She finished yelling as those words appeared on screen and text read: "Mrs. Dunce our great leader and founder of the hunger games had a daughter and granddaughter, Effie Trinket who helps lead our great games of population control today." Then the screen faded to black.

"May the odds be ever in your _flavor_…get it…_hunger_ games? …Too soon?" Carl popped his head in at the end of the documentary.

"You mean we have to fight to the death against 24 people?" Ash cried.

"Nonsense! This is a limited edition games, you'll have way more people to massacre and slaughter!" Carl replied.

"Charlie, can you please bail us out of this, _**PLEASE**_?" Juliana begged.

"My money is becoming an endangered species here with you people," Charlie griped.

"_WE'RE_ going to become endangered species if you don't bribe this guy!" Juliana cried.

"Ugh, fine, Charlie the hero comes to the rescue again! Yo, Carl, how about I give you a million dollars if you let us blow this Popsicle stand?" Charlie stated and Carl chuckled.

"We don't use dollars anymore. We trade only now, we have no currency, remember silly? But you could ask Peeta for some money if you're short on _dough_!" Carl joked.

"You are kidding me, right?" Juliana freaked.

"I thought it was pretty funny," Carl pouted.

"Gaizzzzz, I don't want to kill people! I don't want to die either! This is not okay!" Emma cried.

"Put a sock in it, Mrs. Green-Tights!" Charlie snapped, "We're going to find a way out of this..."

"I'm afraid you will not _find a way out of this_, though if you would please follow me right this way, we are going to have you pick out a weapon of choice," Carl explained as he guided them through a series of hallways and into a room filled with lethal arsenal.

"I have never seen anything so beautiful," Betty murmured on the brink of tears.

"Yes, this is our finest artillery of weapons in the nation, on this plane. You may each select any one of your likings. Except for the jump rope, that's mine, you can't have that one," Carl explained.

"…I call dibs on the jump rope!" Charlie called.

"**I SAID, **_**NO JUMP ROPE**_**, DO YOU WANT TO BE EXECUTED RIGHT NOW?**" Carl shouted, uncharacteristically.

"I'll execute you, Carl _Abuse_," Charlie said with a grimace.

"…Well played, tribute…well played…" Carl said with a glare as he snatched up the jump rope and trotted to the side.

"I pick this," Cecelia said, grinning deviously as she lifted the shiny, black pistol.

"A gun? That's not fair, she's definitely going to win!" Betty yelled, stomping her foot down in protest.

"The gun isn't as resourceful as one may initially think," Carl stated ambiguously.

"Whatever, I'm a practiced killer, I'm going to win!" Betty grinned, "I pick….this!" Betty declared as she picked up a bag full of grenades.

"That won't _backfire_!" Carl said with a wink.

"I choose you!" Ash cheered as he picked up a poke'ball, "Familiar is always the best option!"

"I hope it's a Magikarp in there," Charlie mumbled. "As for me, I choose this chainsaw!" Charlie declared as she slung the bag, that contained the chainsaw, over her shoulder.

"You would…" Shea grumbled, "I pick love!" Shea stated as she made a heart with her hands.

"That will get you nowhere!" Zuko yelled as he smacked the heart shape of her hands down, "You'll die instantly! Compassion is the root of all evil! Pick something for real! You were the president you must know some kind of weapon!"

"I don't even care," Shea shrugged apathetically.

"Of course you don't," Mai mumbled, "I pick this case full of knives."

"I pick these dual swords," Zuko stated as he picked them up. "Now, Shea pick something, that isn't nonchalant-ness or love or something stupid like that!"

"For all her lack of emotion, she certainly seems attached to some," Betty commented.

"I'm not participating in this manslaughter!" Juliana proclaimed valiantly.

"People will die regardless. Wouldn't you rather have an opportunity to protect those you care for rather than be stubborn and self-righteous and not partake?" Carl offered.

"Fine, I pick this medieval flail," Juliana gritted through her teeth, reluctantly.

"Fine, fine, okay, I choose this, it's a pitchfork," Shea said.

"Better than love," Charlie said.

"There's only one weapon left!" Emma whined, "This is no fair, no I'll die!"

"It's a great weapon though!" Carl smiled, "It'll get your adversaries into a _sticky situation_!"

"It's a honey pot," Emma whined, "What am I supposed to do with a _honey pot_?"

"That is not my problem!" Carl chanted.

"Whaiiiii!" Emma cried.

"Because I couldn't care less if you live or die! Now, let's proceed in the instructions of the games, shall we?" Carl continued.

"When exactly do we go to the arena?" Cecelia asked.

"5 PM tonight!" Carl answered, "Isn't that exciting?"

"No, not really," Cecelia quivered.

"This is all the prep time we get? I am not in shape for this!" Charlie yelled.

"At least you have a chainsaw as opposed to honey pots," Emma grumbled.

"That is a very true statement," Charlie agreed.

"Well, here's the social square! I'm going to leave you social butterflies alone now so you can get acquainted with your prey! Have a good one!" Carl said as he left them there in a room full of sobbing people.

"Charlie, I can't do it, I just don't think I can kill people!" Ash sobbed as he grabbed his wife's arm.

"Well then, it was nice knowing you," Charlie stated.

"What if it comes down to you and me!" Ash cried.

"Like I said, nice knowing you," Charlie restated.

"But I love you!" Ash said.

"Ash, do you want to be the sun of my world?" Charlie stated.

"Aw, does that mean your world revolves around me?" Ash swooned.

"No, it means I want you to stay 93 million miles away from me," Charlie snarled as she shoved Ash off her arm and Ash started bawling even harder. Charlie then walked over and took a seat with the others on the floor.

"Got a plan?" Shea asked the group.

"We die," Charlie stated.

"No, we aren't going to die! You want to know why?" Juliana declared.

"Oh great, here comes a big cliché, corny speech about never giving up," Betty moaned.

"No! We can't die because if we die, everyone dies! We started this whole mess with our time travel, the universe's fate lies in our hands, excuse my platitude, but it's true!" Juliana said.

"She's right, if we die, everyone dies, this is all my sister's fault!" Zuko yelled.

"Azula was trying to stop us from killing everyone, that's why she sent us to the future, to get us out of the way," Mai added.

"That idiot! Now she's going to die and we're all going to die because of her insolence!" Charlie yelled.

"I thought your sister was supposed to be a genius?" Cecelia jolted.

"I don't know! How did she even get us here, to the future?" Zuko yelled and Charlie started to scratch the back of her neck.

"Funny story…" Charlie began as she twiddled her thumbs.

"It wasn't her fault _entirely_, she _tried _to stop Azula, but Azula was going to kill her!" Light chimed in.

"Charlie! …My wand! You let Azula get my wand!" Juliana shouted in allegation.

"She was going to fry me like a fish!" Charlie yelled, "It's not my fault she has magic fire powers! Plus, you guys were still hung-over so at least we did something!"

"Wait, _we_?" Who's we?" Betty asked.

"My Magikarp-for-brains husband, that's who!" Charlie said as she pointed her finger angrily.

"Ugh! We're doomed!" Emma cried.

"Not necessarily…" Juliana began to explain the game plan, "None of you want to kill innocent people," Juliana continued as Betty began to speak out against this testimony, "except maybe Betty," Juliana added and Betty became quiet, "My point being, I don't think the others are too keen on murdering each other either, so if we get everyone to form an alliance, The Capitol will probably send something in to do away with us, but if we work together we may be able to defeat the Capitol's forces."

"That's actually a brilliant idea!" Charlie exclaimed.

"But who's the most charismatic?" Cecelia asked as they turned to Shea.

"What're you looking at me for?" Shea exclaimed.

"You must know public speaking, you're the president!" Emma declared.

"Zuko's the Fire Lord!" Shea yelled.

"Crescent Moon Face is the biggest dork ever though, he'll say something stupid and mess it all up!" Charlie yelled.

"He'd do better than me, why don't you do it, Charlie? You get people to do whatever you want!" Shea suggested.

"I'm only good at manipulation, I'm an entrepreneur, I have to swindle money through blackmail and oppression, and these people need genuine kindness!" Charlie yelled, "They're all gonna die otherwise!"

"I'm a politician, what do I know about bona fide kindness?" Shea yelled.

"Emma, you go do it! Go propose Juliana's plan to the people!" Betty ordered.

"What do we do if some people object though, Juliana? Not everyone is going to agree. What if some people pretend to agree, but are actually just backstabbers?" Cecelia said.

"…Someone will have to kill them. Better to lose a few than many," Juliana said bitterly.

"That's a pretty dour statement, Juliana," Shea said.

"What do you know? At least I thought of something! What have you done, you won't even show emotion!" Juliana jumped; she was crumbling under pressure and anxiety.

"Oh, well then…" Shea responded.

"Why don't you have an opinion, Shea? On _anything_?" Cecelia asked intrusively.

"Why are you a hipster?" Shea replied.

"I am _not_ a hipster! I called out hipsters before any one else!" Cecelia yelled.

"Oh please, we all know Shea has no emotions and Cecelia's a hipster, is this even a legit argument?" Charlie laughed.

"You're selfish!" Cecelia snapped.

"Excuse me? I'm here, risking me and my husband's lives, to make my _friend _happy!" Charlie yelled in self-defense.

"You were just bored! You are bitter, mean, and cynical! You have nothing better to do because you may be rich with money, but inside you're a dark, dingy, ball of anger!" Cecelia shouted.

"At least I never committed mass genocide! I'm not a murderer, nor a terrorist!" Charlie yelled.

"You're just jealous!" Cecelia screamed.

"Guys, calm down," Emma intervened.

"You calm down, Emma! This is your entire fault anyway, why can't you stop your crying and move on from that stupid, fruity, little boy that you loved in _8__th__ grade_? We're all going to die because of your stupidity and naivety!" Charlie screamed.

"Well excuse me, Brizzle!" Emma hollered, "At least I didn't marry a diseased ten-year-old!"

"Hey! Stop pointing the finger at me; my disease wasn't my choice! At least Charlie didn't marry some angry, face-fried guy!" Ash yelled back.

"What're you dragging me into this for?" Zuko yelled, "At least I wasn't ten for a decade and a half!"

"UGH, at least I wasn't bald with a ponytail!" Ash rebutted.

"Ha, you guys all make me laugh," Betty commented.

"Stay out of it, Betty!" Ash shouted, "At least I'm not playing Where's Waldo for my mother!"

"At least I didn't abandon my mother to enslave animals in balls!" Zuko screamed.

"At least my mother didn't abandon _me_!" Ash shouted.

"At least I have a father!" Zuko yelled.

"…Dude, really? Look at your face in the mirror, I'd rather have no dad," Charlie butted in with a giggle.

"Leave my fiancé alone!" Shea groaned.

"Like he's going to be your fiancé much longer!" Betty yelled, "I see the way he looks at knife-thrower!"

"I hope she throws a knife at _you_!" Shea grunted.

"Look who finally decided to stop suppressing emotion!" Betty yelled, "and it isn't smart of you to mess with a skilled killer the night of a murder fest, is it?"

"Oh my cupcakes, people, stop it!" Juliana shouted.

"You're the one who started all the fighting, stop acting so innocent!" Cecelia yelled, "You go around like you're the leader or something, when really, we all can do whatever we want!"

"I never tried to stop you!" Juliana shouted.

"Good riddance to you all!" Charlie screamed.

"~Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road, time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go. Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial, for what it's worth it was worth all the while. It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right, I hope you had the time of your life~" Emma began singing the nostalgic song from St. Anna's graduation.

"Emma, for God's sake, _shut up_!" Betty yelled.

"No, Emma's right! We've known each other since kindergarten, maybe for some, even earlier. We can't keep fighting, especially in a crisis like this," Juliana said.

"Save it for Sunday School, Juliana. I look forward to frying all of your faces off tonight, ungrateful insert Light Yagami insult heres…." Cecelia grumbled.

"What? Don't think I'm being pulled into your little family feud!" Light shouted.

"Fine Cecelia, be that way! Forget the plan, Juliana! No one wants to be a part of it anymore! We're all just going to be morons and die! I look forward to seeing your corpses scattered throughout a battlefield and consequently causing the end of the entire world as we know it!" Charlie screamed as she grabbed her husband by the wrist and stormed off.

"She's so sarcastic and arrogant, hmph, I anticipate her demise," Cecelia said with a huff.

"Go marry another pedophile," Betty snarled.

"Maybe I will!" Cecelia said as she stood up and marched away.

"That was unnecessary, just like most of your murders," Shea grumbled.

"Your comment was also unnecessary, and all my unneeded murders are going to pay off now, aren't they? Hope you had a good time living because there's only a few more hours of that for you left," Betty snarled as she also stormed away.

"Taunt the expert killer why don't you…" Mai moaned.

"Whatever…" Shea pouted.

"Come on, Zuko. You'll have a higher survival rate with me than her, she can't do anything, at least I'm skilled with ninja stars," Mai said, grabbing his hand.

"I don't want either of you! You're all nuts! I've got my swords and firebending, I'll be fine, I could light the whole arena into flames if I wanted to! I'm done, I saved the world once, apparently I'm too much of a crescent moon, half face, half baked, Cyclops to do it again!" Zuko yelled as he also stomped off to himself.

"Great, now he's going to kill us both!" Shea yelled.

"Not if I kill him first," Mai muttered as she flicked a knife out from her sleeve and walked away, Shea shrugged and slumped up against the wall.

"…We're all dead, aren't we?" Juliana sighed.

"United we stand, divided we fall," Shea agreed.

"How did this go so wrong? Emma, we're getting you to Peter Pan if it's the last thing we do!" Juliana said determinedly.

"I have a honey pot for a weapon. I think the only thing you'll be getting to Peter Pan is my coffin," Emma cried and Shea shrugged in acceptance. Just then Emma pulled out a cigarette and a lighter.

"When did you start smoking?" Shea yelled.

"When I started having anxiety attacks over this whole Peter Pan adventure," Emma replied.

"… … … … … I think I'm going to kill you," Juliana said with a twitch.

"…See you on the field too! Here-here!" Emma grinned and fled as Juliana threw her face into her hands in frustration.

"We've got two hours until we all die," Juliana said with a deterred sigh as she glanced down at her watch.

"Great, a happy reminder," Shea moaned. People continued sparring and sobbing, or cocked in a corner laughing maniacally from descending into madness from grief. Two hours passed slower and quicker than expected and suddenly, everyone was being prepped to be thrown into the arena and fight to the death. Ash then walked up to his wife.

"…Charlie, are you okay?" Ash asked.

"Never been better, why do you ask, zig-zag face?" Charlie stated bitterly, keeping her stare away from his.

"Because….you know….we're about to go into an arena and kill people and maybe get killed….and yeah…sometimes that has a negative effect on one's mental health….and just checking on your mental stability…since you know….we're married," Ash explained.

"You don't have to remind me of these things before I die, sweetheart," Charlie grumbled.

"If I die…I want to be buried with Pikachu," Ash declared.

"Hun, Pikachu is buried somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean right now," Charlie sighed.

"…Can you bury me with Oak then?" Ash requested.

"If you want your body in a dumpster, I suppose," Charlie sighed once more.

"…Fine, just put me in Pallet Town," Ash accepted, "…Where do you want to go…you know…if you…don't make it?"

"Fool, I'mma make it, I'm Charlie Brizzle Ketchum, wormadam it," Charlie said boldly.

"…I hope you do, I'd rather you make it than me," Ash admitted.

"Me too, glad we have mutual feelings," Charlie said with a smirk.

"…I love you," Ash said.

"Thanks for the input," Charlie replied and Ash scowled.

"That wasn't exactly the response I was looking for before our deaths," Ash groaned.

"I'll see you on the battlefield," Charlie said.

"…I hope not," Ash sighed, "bye, Charlie."

"Sayonara," Charlie said with a wave, but as he walked away, she frowned. Cecelia, Betty, and Emma were talking in another room before being sent to the ascension pods.

"We're going to die," Emma cried.

"That we are," Cecelia agreed.

"The whole world's going to end too, and it's all our faults!" Emma sobbed, on the brink of a hysterical breakdown.

"Pull yourself together, woman!" Cecelia yelled as she slapped Emma's face.

"You're right, I'm gonna do this thing. Y'all be trippin' when you get a load of Emma and her honey pots," Emma said with a smug grin.

"It was nice knowing you two over the years. Thanks for shaping my childhood," Betty said as she shook their hands and patted her pistol, then walked over to her pod.

"That's a bit foreboding," Cecelia stated.

"I'll see you, in hell, homey," Emma said as she pulled down some shades, Cecelia grew a puzzled expression by Emma's changed attitude, but it shrugged it off and said her potentially final farewell to Emma and went off to her pod. Meanwhile, Shea and Juliana were talking before their imminent dooms as well.

"You'd think my fiancé would come say goodbye to me before my potential death," Shea grumbled.

"Whatever, we'll be dead momentarily," Juliana said, stifling a sob.

"That's a morbid thing to come out of your mouth," Shea commented.

"I'm optimistic, not in denial," Juliana said, "Despite Effie's comments, the odds aren't in our favor, they haven't been this entire time!"

"If only we could buy more time," Shea sighed, "It was nice knowing you through the years, Juliana."

"Same to you, Ms. President," Juliana said with a fake salute as they both departed. Meanwhile, Zuko and Mai were talking.

"We are going to die, Mai," Zuko said, trembling.

"No, we are not going to die!" Mai demanded, "We've faced worse than this! You saved the world, you faced your psychopath sister and father! If you can make it through that, you'll make it through anything!"

"I also made it through seeing you without any makeup on," Zuko added.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Mai grumbled.

"…Bye, Mai," Zuko grinned.

"Aren't you going to say goodbye to your fiancée?" Mai asked.

"I think she sort of hates me right now," Zuko sighed.

"You don't really have much time left," Mai said.

"I thought you just said we weren't going to die," Zuko mumbled.

"No, but she probably will, her weapon of choice was going to be love," Mai said, "I'll see you back in the Fire Nation, Zuko."

"I hope so," Zuko said with a frown, "I hope so."

"Ladies and gentlemen, please enter your pods now and exit your fetal positions and prepare to kill innocent, fellow human beings," Carl said over an announcer. "5…" the countdown began as the pods began to rise to the surface, "4…" it continued, hearts pounding, "3…" they'd reached the above ground, adrenaline racing, "2…" the glass was being removed, prayers being said, "1…" they set off like a rocket.

"Making my way to the cornucopia, running faces, faces screaming pass, and I'm dead bound. Staring directly head, just slaughtering my way, throwing honey, all over the crowd~" Emma sang as she darted off like a bullet. "Maybe the honey ain't so useless after all...the tracker jackers love honey..." Emma said, grinning menacingly. As Emma throws honey all over her victims she slowly watches as tracker jackers swarm their bodies, stinging them alive, injecting toxin venom into their veins, as they wince in agony and cripple to the ground in pain. Everyone split up and ran in different directions, seeking out teams and allies, hiding, or just accepting defeat and waiting to be killed.

One of the casualties from these manic games was Light Yagami, he was fleeing for a tree and was shot down by Betty's bullet. Betty then continued to sprint towards a cave and she hid under its rocks shooting any unbeknownst people who crossed by. Shea was already running faster than she ever had in her life and was hiding in a mountain peak sucking her thumb. Juliana was stealthily avoiding everyone and planning out a possible solution to get everyone out of this deathtrap. Emma was lathering everyone in honey like a badass as she sang her own rendition of _A Thousand Miles_. Ash was using his Pokemon, which turned out to be a Wailmer, to try to ride his way to safety. It turns out that wailmers are no good outside of water. Wailmer trigged a fear in Cecelia over whales and sent her running away as fast as her legs could carry her. While Cecelia fled, she met another boy along the way named Oz. Oz was a nice kid, but was a bit too in touch with his feminine side. They both were going to kill each other, but realized that would be pointless so they had a mutual agreement to become allies for the time being. Charlie, however, was lancing in a treetop sipping some tea she had brewed herself by finding tea leaves, making a fire and using her chainsaw bag to put the water in. (Screw logic.)

Suddenly, Zuko walks by, stumbling, and Charlie jumps down, catching him off guard. The tea drops and spills on his head, which earns a shriek.

"Uncle! I told you not to throw boiling tea on my head!" Zuko screamed.

"I'm not your Uncle," Charlie said, pointing the chainsaw at him as he held his hands up in surrender.

"Hey! Let's not do anything brash, we could be good allies, I'm useful, I can create fire," Zuko proposed.

"Cream or sugar?" Charlie offered.

"How about fight or flight?" Zuko quivered.

"Come on, have a cup," Charlie said.

"Sure, to be frank, I'd rather fancy a cup," Zuko accepted the offer. They sat down and Charlie prepared Zuko a cup of tea and handed to him as they sat down under the shade of an Oak tree. "So, what made you accept me as your ally?"

"You're hot," Charlie said bluntly.

"What?" Zuko exclaimed and Charlie blushed, realizing what had just come out of her mouth, "Aren't you married?"

"…I meant…'cause you're like a firebender…" Charlie said.

"Oh, okay, that makes sense, I guess," Zuko said and Charlie rolled her eyes at his idiocy.

"You know…when I was a kid I was a pretty hardcore Zutara supporter," Charlie commented and Zuko spit out his tea.

"What does that even mean?" Zuko asked.

"I wanted you and Katara to get together, so many cool things would've happened," Charlie mused.

"…Katara? What?" Zuko exclaimed.

"Oh, come on! It had potential! When you tied her to a tree and said that creepy thing about pirates!" Charlie said.

"I didn't even know you back then!" Zuko yelled.

"No, not Internet pirates, you idiot!" Charlie growled.

"Oh, that…that was creepy, I should've been arrested for that," Zuko yelled.

"Nah, it was cool, it added drama. Oh, and then you too in the cave and Katara almost fixed your ugly face! That would've been great!" Charlie added and Zuko looked at her like she was insane.

"You're scaring me," Zuko stated.

"Oh, come on, Cyclops! The best was when you had that battle though, and you jumped in front of the lightning for her and then she healed you, that was great, you totally loved her," Charlie exclaimed.

"…You're nuts," Zuko stated, "Mai was my girlfriend then, Katara was just my friend, I didn't want to see her die!"

"Yeah, that's what they all say! But back to the point, I saw your grandson and now I'm kind of glad Maiko happened."

"Maiko? What. Plus, I'm engaged to Shea, I don't even know what you're saying," Zuko said.

"Well, I mean the documentary was a spill all. You and Mai are obviously going to get back together and have a daughter named Honora," Charlie said as she brought the cup to her lips.

"Honora? …I like that name," Zuko contemplated aloud.

"Of course you do…" Charlie grumbled.

"But no! That isn't happening!" Zuko yelled.

"Come on, any one with..._an eye_ could see that!" Charlie teased.

"You know both my eyes are fully functional!" Zuko shouted.

"Whatever you say, Mike Wazowski…" Charlie said, "Come on, we'd better keep moving." Meanwhile, Betty was up and about searching out her prey.

"I am getting so sick and tired of walking around killing people, I'm getting pretty lonely," Betty sighed as she talked to herself, walking up a path with a walking stick. Suddenly, a crack of a branch was heard and Betty sprung into alert. "Who's there? I'll kill you! Freeze!" Betty exclaimed, pointing her gun, ready to fire.

"…No, please! We can be allies!" The voice yelled.

"Who are you? Show yourself!" Betty ordered and a man stepped out, Betty's eyes opened wide at the familiar sight. "Muffy Crosswire?"

"…Betty?" Muffy said, speechless as Muffy dropped her weapon. "What in the world are you doing here?"

"The same goes for you! This is supposed to be the future! How'd you get here?" Betty asked.

"My wife Miriam and I…we were experimentating and my concoction went out of hand and I became immortal," Muffy explained.

"So you're... Edward Cullen?" Betty asked.

"Not exactly…I'm not a vampire, Betty. Now, I explained myself, your turn!" Muffy said.

"Juliana used her magic by mistake to get us here and now the whole universe's fate as at stake or something of that nature, I blame Charlie," Betty answered.

"Charlie Brizzle?" Muffy asked, the name ringing a bell.

"That's the one, Charlie Brizzle Ketchum now," Betty said.

"You are kidding me?" Muffy said in disbelief, though not shock.

"I know right?" Betty laughed with him.

"Eight years on the bus…" Muffy said nostalgically.

"Yes, memory lane…let's focus on not dying now, shall we?" Betty suggested and Muffy nodded in agreement. Emma, meanwhile, was still sailing through the competition, taking everyone out with her honey.

"I am gonna mess you all up good!" Emma shouted as she threw the honey on yet another victim. The Game Makers were getting bored of Emma's winning streak, so they decided to spice things up a bit with a little heavy metal music. As Emma slain many, Let the Bodies Hit the Floor played, which only egged her on to continue her vicious massacre. "For Mopmall's legacy!" Emma let out her battle cry.

"So…Zuko…" Charlie began.

"Yeuup?" Zuko replied as they skipped stones in boredom, having all the tributes, but their friends dead.

"Ever find your mom?" Charlie asked.

"THAT IS A VERY SENSATIVE SUBJECT!" Zuko yelled.

"Okay, okay…I just…I think I know what happened to her," Charlie began and Zuko grabbed her by the collar.

"WHERE?" Zuko yelled.

"…I think she was Amon," Charlie said with a grin.

"Lies!" Zuko yelled.

"Well…I mean…maybe she was mad that her husband abused bending all over her son's face," Charlie proposed.

"Next you'll be telling me you know where my honor is too," Zuko grumbled bitterly.

"Oh, but I do," Charlie trolled.

"WHERE?" Zuko said, again gullibly.

"LOL JK!" Charlie laughed and Zuko grimaced. "Am I the only one getting sick of this heavy metal song?"

"No, I can't take it!" Zuko yelled. Whilst Zuko and Charlie held up their idle chitchat Cecelia was still dealing with one last foe, Oz. Oz and Cecelia continued walking aimlessly for miles until they ran into Charlie and Zuko and both teams readied their battle stances.

"So, you've got a fruit tart on your side, hipster?" Charlie taunted.

"Better than a halfwit with a half-face," Cecelia retorted.

"Do you really want to kill your friends?" Zuko asked.

"No, but that won't be necessary!" Cecelia said as she pulled out a dagger and Zuko drew his swords.

"You don't have to do this!" Zuko yelled.

"I think I do!" Cecelia said as Betty just then jumped on her back and her gun went flying out of her hand, fruit tart then rushed to retrieve it.

"Muffy!" Charlie exclaimed.

"Good to see ya, Moe," Muffy replied.

"You came in the nick of time," Charlie added.

"Betty, get off of me!" Cecelia yelled.

"No!" Betty declared.

"Dude, I'm not even going to kill Charlie nor Zuko!" Cecelia swore.

"I don't buy it!" Betty yelled as fruit tart slipped Cecelia the pistol.

"This is what I was going to do!" Cecelia declared as she struggled and then shot fruit tart 37 times in the chest and twice in the head. Betty just paused, got up, and began to slowly clap.

"Who's left?" Emma said, out-of-the-blue, as she walked over, licking honey off a spoon.

"Emma, I cannot believe _you_ took everyone out," Charlie said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Me neither! Who knew Carl would call a weapon right!" Emma exclaimed.

"Guys, I know things got out of hand earlier, but what do you say we all just call it truths, find the others and try our bests to get the hell out of here?" Cecelia suggested.

"Agreed!" They all said simultaneously.

"So who's left? Mai, Shea, Juliana?" Charlie said.

"And Ash," Emma said.

"So, Mai, Shea, and Juliana?" Charlie restated and Emma just frowned at Charlie's atypical sarcastic comment.

"Should we split up or…?" Zuko asked.

"I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!" Emma shouted, "Sorry, got carried away…"

"Are you going to look for them or not, Emma?" Charlie asked.

"I don't think splitting up is a good idea," Cecelia added, "who knows what the Capitol is up to."

"She's right, we better just stick together as a group to find them," Betty agreed.

"Or you know, we could always have some…private lessons…" A voice hissed from the bushes.

"Who's there?" Zuko shouted, startled.

"Come out, whoever you are!" Betty demanded, "I'll kill you!"

"It's just me, N…" the voice hissed and everybody's eyes widened.

"No! Zuko killed you with alpaca peanut butter, remember?" Cecelia shouted.

"HEE HOO HA HA!" the voice laughed in mockery.

"Oh dear God, it is N….N, come out!" Charlie yelled.

"As you wish…" N said as a dog crawled out from the bushes.

"You aren't even N! How do you have his voice?" Emma cried.

"Look me in the eyes," The dog said and Cecelia reluctantly crept over and stared the beast down, her eyes bolted open at what she saw.

"It is him, oh my fairy skipping lost boys," Cecelia muttered.

"Hey, that's my line!" Emma complained.

"That isn't him, Cecelia, that is a dog!" Charlie shouted, "Have you gone mad?"

"Look at its eyes!" Cecelia said and Charlie did, they were the same exact eyes of N.

"Okay, that is some messed up stuff," Charlie muttered as another dog crept out of the bushes.

"What else?" Betty cried as the shadowy figure emerged.

"Miss me?" Said the familiar voice.

"That's Professor Oak's voice," Betty whispered.

"How is this even possible?" Emma cried.

"I don't know, but we better kill them and find the others!" Zuko yelled.

"Then get cracking on that peanut butter, bisected face!" Charlie called.

"Charlie, Betty, Emma, and I are going to go find Juliana, Mai, Shea, and Ash. You and Zuko hold off…those things, okay?" Cecelia affirmed.

"Gotcha!" Charlie consented as they went off to fetch their associates.

"Alright, Charlie, get the chainsaw out, we've got business to take care of!" Zuko said as he pulled out his dual swords and started slicing at the canines. It did little to no effect though, they were like holograms, the swords, Zuko's firebending, and even the chainsaw went right through them.

"Why won't you die? DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!" Charlie shouted as she desperately hacked at the wolf-like creatures.

"Because….I LOVE THE SMELL OF IT, STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT CHAINS AND WHIPS EXCITE ME, I LIKE IT, LIKE IT, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON~" The N dog sang while dancing provocatively.

"Oh my God…no…no…not again," Charlie cried as she cupped her hands over her ears, "Capitol, if you wanted me dead, you could've just singed my body parts one-by-one, this is too much!"

"Not this again…" Zuko said as his stomach tightened into a knot.

"Don't you want to go to Pleasure Island? It's a shame all these children were wasted in these games too," N commented, "BUT…I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK, YEAH, THEM OTHER BOYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT, YEAH, IF THAT'S YOUR GIRL BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK, SO COME OVER HERE AND I'LL PICK UP THE SLACK, YEAH, TAKE IT TO THE BRIDGE~" N sang, pointing to Charlie as a cue, but she just kept staring in horrific disgust.

"Zuko…where are they?" Charlie sobbed.

"Looking for our friends and your husband," Zuko answered.

"…I KNOW, it was a rhetorical question, what is the matter with you? Didn't your father ever teach you not to answer rhetorical questions?" Charlie yelled.

"No, but he taught me not to speak out of turn!" Zuko shouted back, pointing to his face.

"Aw, boo-hoo!" Charlie mocked, "Now can we please kill these things!"

"Mrs. Ketchum, you wouldn't have happened to know how your mother-in-law is doing these days, would you?" The Professor Oak woof-woof asked.

"No, but I would imagine she's doing much better through your lack of existence," Charlie responded.

"I don't know, we sure did have our fun!" Oak said with a wink.

"This is even creepier now that you're…a thing," Charlie said.

"Why, yes, I would hope Delia and I become a thing!" Oak laughed.

"That…that is not what I was implying at all," Charlie said, quivering at the thought.

"I'm afraid our masters are ordering us to end you now, so if you'll excuse us, we're going to viciously gnaw at your face and rip your intestines out through your head that we've decapitated with our holographic teeth," Oak explained.

"~'CAUSE I MAY BE BAD, BUT I'M PERFECLY GOOD AT IT~" N sang as he charged forward.

"This-this won't end well," Zuko stated, but in the cliché, climatic nick of time the rest of the crew arrived to save the day!

"Ash, my boy! How's your mother?" The Oak dog asked upon seeing Ash again.

"Professor?" Ash shouted in awe, "why are you a dog?"

"I'm not sure, Ash," Oak answered.

"Just like how you're not sure why you aren't wearing any pants?" Ash said.

"Yes, Ash, just like that. Now, I know Pikachu wasn't your ideal choice and that you wanted Agumon, but that's from Digimon, Ash, this is Pokemon!" Oak said.

"Now you're just rambling utter nonsense," Ash stated.

"Kill him!" Charlie yelled.

"Charlie! I'm so glad you're okay!" Ash squealed as he embraced her.

"That's nice, now we have to kill your father figure again," Charlie said as she pushed him away.

"Oh, and Cecelia, he started…" Zuko gulped, "…singing again…"

"Good Lord, what're you waiting for, boy, whip out that alpaca peanut butter!" Cecelia cried.

"No, it won't work, we've tried everything, they're like holograms or something!" Zuko explained.

"They're like vocaloids…" Shea added.

"Didn't need to hear that comment," Mai mumbled and Shea scowled.

"Why couldn't they have eaten you too?" Shea grumbled back beneath her breath.

"I wish I had my wand right now, but _someone_ decided to hand it over to Azula! Doesn't she realize that we're all going to die because of how she trapped us here?" Juliana yelled.

"I SHALL SUMMON AZULA AND MAKE HER REPENT HER SINS!" Emma declared heroically.

"…Emma? You alright there, buddy?" Betty asked with a scared expression.

"**THE WORLD HAS BROUGHT PAIN, THE WORLD HAS BROUGHT SORROW, HELP US ALL INTO THE TOMORROW. BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE, WE MUST DETERMINE OUR OWN FATE. OUR DESTINY IS UP TO ME. THE STARS DON'T DEFINE WHO WE ARE, WISHING WILL NOT GET YOU FAR. SPIRITS ABOVE, SPIRITS BELOW, SAVE US FROM THIS APOCALYPTIC BLOW. I BEG YOUR GRACES, NOT MISPLACES. WE NEED A GIRL, A WOMAN, NO LESS, TO PAY FOR HER SINS, WE NEED HER TO CONCIEVE THAT CHOICES DEFINE WHO WE ARE, NOT WHAT IS WRITTEN IN THE STARS.**" Emma chanted demonically as her body ascended into the sky and her eyes blackened into deep pits of the underworld.

"…I'm scared." Betty cried as she ducked down and closed her eyes.

"Is this really happening or…did I just lose my mind…or is there some kind of Inception thing going on here? Maybe I have schizophrenia, something?" Charlie said as she watched her friend do a Gregorian chant up in the heavens.

"…You know, I'm starting to miss the old Emma, the one from grade school…WHO DIDN'T GET POSSESSED AND FLOAT UP INTO THE SKY!" Muffy yelled.

"…Did you hear that…I have to go, right Oak, RIGHT?" N yelled as he tugged the other canine along to flee from the terrifying sight.

"…Did Emma just go into the avatar state?" Zuko asked.

"Oh, Zuko, Zuko, Zuko, Zuko…no one knows what the hell you're talking about," Shea said as she put a hand on his shoulder.

"No one knows what I'm talking about? We're in the future with a flying Emma in the sky singing satanic chants!" Zuko screamed, "Am I the only sane one left?"

"You are now, now that we've all seen this," Juliana muttered as she pointed to the sky.

"I mean does she really think this will work? That my sister will just fall out of the sky because she went all avatar state on us?" Zuko yelled.

"She is floating in the sky with completely black pupils, I wouldn't be calling anything impossible right now," Betty stated.

"**COME NOW, YOSHI, YOU WILL GROW A UNICORN HORN AND ALL WILL BE WELL! WE ARE GOING TO CARE-A-LOT TO FIND AZULA, SHE IS WITH GRUMPY BEAR!**" Emma's voice boomed and echoed from the stratosphere.

"…what." Charlie said.

"Am I dead or something? Did those dog things kill us and this is the afterlife?" Cecelia questioned.

"This would be quite the afterlife then," Juliana muttered as Emma vanished into thin air.

"HOLY #$&!" Charlie screamed.

"Emma!" Betty yelled.

"What is going on?" Muffy cried.

"She probably went back to Lebanon and ditched us again! This time it's worse because we could die!" Cecelia yelled.

"Maybe she went to go get my sister from the spirit world," Zuko suggested.

"Okay, Zuko, Emma is not the avatar!" Shea yelled.

"But what if she is!" Zuko yelled.

"No! She's not there is no avatar in our world!" Shea yelled.

"Oh yes, and the swarming vortex that sucked your friend into oblivion is so rational," Mai grumbled. "At least those dog things are gone."

"Yes, in exchange for Emma, who just went on a coffee break with the PowerPuff Girls!" Betty yelled.

"Actually, I think it was the Care Bears," Shea corrected.

"Like it makes a difference!" Betty snapped back.

"I bet those Capitol jerks are getting a kick out of this…" Charlie grumbled.

"They all probably had a heart attack and died, after witnessing that, I nearly did!" Juliana said. As they all ranted and raved about the strange Emma phenomenon, a thundering sound boom crashed from the sky and a vortex opened once more. The vortex spat out Emma along with a very baffled Azula.

"Wha-what is going on here?" Azula yelled.

"Azula!" Zuko cried out.

"Ughh, if I could ascend into the sky, do you think a black hole would arise? 'Cause you know I'd go into the avatar state if I could just save us all…tonight~" Emma sang in a dizzy confusion.

"Emma, you okay?" Muffy asked as he helped her to her feet.

"…I am so confused, what is going on, someone call a psychiatrist, please." Betty said.

"Azula, we're all going to be dead, including you, because of your little stunt!" Charlie yelled.

"I know, I know, I've been trying to work this thing for hours to try and get you guys! Things started going beserk after I sent you all here!" Azula said, "That's why I ran away to Care-A-Lot!"

"Give me my wand, now!" Juliana ordered.

"Okay, okay, just don't let us all die!" Azula succumbed as she tossed Juliana her wand back.

"Emma, I don't know what the hell just happened, how the hell you just did that, if some greater being just jumped the shark so far out that her life is probably irredeemable, but thank God you did, otherwise we'd all be dead," Juliana said.

"Hurry Juliana, before those Capitol goons come send some other horrifying thing!" Betty screamed.

"Okay, okay!" Juliana said, "Everyone ready, come all hold hands, I don't care if you like each other or not, if you want to live, hold hands!" Juliana commanded as they all latched onto each other's grip and Juliana casted a transportation spell. They were taken back into modern era, though Juliana had stifled a bit with her spell and ended up a bit off on the location. They were not in Mopmall nor Oldtown Circle, not even Sidemont, they were in Boston Massachusetts.

"Welcome to the Tipton, where everything is sweet, join us for dinner may we offer you a seat!" A man outside of a hotel said.

"…Where are we now?" Charlie yelled.

"We are in my daddy's hotel!" A girl said.

"Okay…and where would this be exactly?" Betty asked.

"We're in Boston," Another girl answered for them as two tween boys went running out of the lobby and onto the streets, arguing.

"This is a hotel you said, right?" Juliana asked.

"Dude, we're supposed to be in Oldtown Circle!" Emma cried.

"Well, I messed up, okay! We might as well enjoy our stay at this nice hotel, Charlie's treat," Juliana said.

"Hey! Dude, what the heck?" Charlie yelled.

"Come on, Charlie, we're celebrating survival here!" Ash coaxed.

"Whatever, whatever, I just better not be called stingy ever again!" Charlie said as she whipped out a wallet full of cash.

"Wow, you have more money than I do!" The ditzy girl from before exclaimed.

"Aren't you special, if you even can compare to my wealth," Charlie boasted.

"Come on, guys. Okay, sir, we'd like to check in," Cecelia said.

"Right away, everyone. Estaban, come help, lots of luggage!" The man called and everyone just kept praying that maybe, here in Boston, things would contrast from that horrid place known as Panem. Maybe, if they went back, they could prevent that wretched Panem from being the world's future. Maybe, just maybe they could prevent World War III, with a little luck on their sides and the odds ever in their favor.


End file.
